Chapter 238 - And No One Else

When the car door finally closed and they began peeling away from the driveway, Qing Zihao finally let go of the breath that he was holding.

"You felt how painful it was to say goodbye to your sons?" Xie Changying said, she sounded mad while she was looking out the window. "That is how I am feeling everyday… so don't you dare die."

Qing Zihao felt like his was being skinned alive, but from the inside—that did not make sense but that was how he felt, like something was clawing him from the inside out. Now he was wondering, if he should've told his other sons.

But no, they would've never let him leave. 

"I'll try not to die too fast," said Qing Zihao. Then out of habit, his fingers felt for his coat pockets for his pipe. But instead his hand found something else.

He pulled out the short envelope and felt his body froze when he saw the words on it written by a hand he would easily recognize.

**

When the car was finally out of sight, Qing Lok went back inside the house without another word. Qing Chen followed to grab his keys to go home but Wuming clutched his arm.

Wuming was glaring at Qing Chen. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Father."

Then it was as if Qing Chen had been showered with a bucket of cold water. A part of him was relieved but another was in panic.

Wuming released his brother and huffed a breath. He looked down at his feet, not knowing what to feel or what to think. "Is he dying?"

"What?"

"Is he dying?" he said louder.

He saw Qing Chen's feet shifted and something inside of him felt like it was dragging him down.

"Tell me," he said.

"Wei."

Wuming pressed his hands to his temples and squeezed. He started pacing. He knew it. Their father wouldn't just suddenly leave and retire. He felt it while they were at lunch.

It was a few seconds of silence before Qing Chen broke it. "Why didn't you ask him?"

His fingers dropped to his eyelids which felt like burning. "I don't know… I don't…" he wanted to bite on his fist. His breath was shaky when he took it. "I figured if he wanted to tell us, he already would have."

Everything in him felt heavy that he put his hands on his knees. It was as if his organs had enlarged and grew small at the same time, making it hard for him to breathe.

Qing Chen stood close to him and patted his back. "In case this would make you feel better, you're doing better than I did."

It did not make Wuming feel better. He cursed under his breath. His mind was suddenly filled with 'I should have's. I should've said something. I should've known. I should've offered to help him get better. I should've stopped that car from leaving.

He wanted to blame himself for being too insensitive, but what came out of his mouth was "What's wrong with him? How can he leave like this? Shouldn't we stay together?"

"He's coping with his own pain at the moment. I think he doesn't want us to see."

Wuming muttered another curse. "He's really selfish sometimes, isn't he?"

"It's his life. Not ours."

Wuming stood up straight and took a deep breath, this time he felt loads better. "Where is he going?"

Qing Chen shook his head. "He didn't tell me either. He just told me that he needed to take some time off."

All of Wuming's hope of following their father evaporated. He nodded. "Should we tell Lok?"

Qing Chen looked back at the house and thought about their youngest brother. He licked his lips that went dry due to the cold. "I don't think he's ready for that."

"Well, it's either that or father had to be nursed back to health."

Qing Chen scratched at his neck, already knowing the answer regarding Qing Lok. "What do you think? Should we tell him?"

Wuming shook his head. "It's the first time we've really seen him happy. I think we should hold off for a few days. Let's see what's going on his mind."

"I agree."

Wuming nodded to the door. "Let's get inside. Let's talk about our plans for everything."

**

Feng Xuan had no idea where they were going. Her father was munching on sesame balls while they were on the way, spreading his arms wide looking at vicinity maps and blueprints.

"You know, don't you?" Feng Xuan asked.

"Know what?"

"Mr. Qing is dying."

Her father plucked another snack from the small cardboard box. "He had it coming. He had always been a smoker. You can't have vices and expect it to not bite you in the ass in the future."

"I'm so glad you already stopped smoking."

"I still occasionally smoke, who knows maybe I'd die so soon too. I might go first before Zihao."

Feng Xuan's eyes went wide. "Do you even hear yourself? How can you say that to me?"

Her father chuckled. "To be honest, Zihao's illness was what made me want to bring you here. I wanted to wait for a little longer but I might die tomorrow." He swiftly changed the topic. "Meilien had been looking well the past few days. She's doing well with you and Yimin."

Feng Xuan nodded her head. "Yeah, she seems to be really excited with everything that would happen in the company. I am thinking of giving her an official position so she can earn more. Is she and her mom okay?"

Feng Lizhao's face turned sour. "They still hadn't made up."

Feng Xuan twisted her body to look at her father. "Do you and your wife talk? Are you still happy with her?"

Her father smiled but his eyes turned solemn. "In my age, happiness is not what's necessary. It's companionship. I will only be happy with your mother. And no one else."