Chapter 234 - But Not Us

Feng Xuan did not know how she reacted with the news. She thought her lips formed something like a what, why, and how. Then the words dried on its own in her mouth. She listened to Qing Chen explain to her how he had found out about it.

When he was done, she felt that her cheeks were wet. This was why he had been drinking a lot and this was why he was so stressed lately. Was this also why he had shown her Enigma? Because they were going to be the ones who would handle it from here on out?

As soon as those thoughts entered her mind, it all vanished when she saw how devastated Qing Chen was. She knew he was not taking this well, especially when his father made him promise not to tell his brothers. 

This was why he had been a stony figure, like a wall incapable of feeling anything. No smiles and drowning in alcohol.

Qing Chen saw that she was sad and tried to pull a smile on his lips but Feng Xuan saw how painful it was for him to do so. 

She didn't know at what point her arms moved on their own accord. How ironic that they were sitting on top of a pile of money, surrounded by the rarest jewels, but none of these riches could save a mafia lord's life.

That night, Feng Xuan broke for him. It was her heart that was torn and it was her who shed his tears.

**

The following day, they shared a quiet breakfast. Qing Chen just merely pushed food around his plate. Feng Xuan also lost her appetite a short while later and grabbed her coffee instead. She sat on his lap and pressed her face on the side of his.

"Are you not hungry?"

Qing Chen closed his eyes and pressed back. "I have to see him off today."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm fine. Lok and Wuming are going to be there."

"Are you really not going to tell them?"

Qing Chen winced. "I honestly don't know yet."

Feng Xuan wanted to make the mood better. "Want to make a bet on how your brothers would react?"

That made Qing Chen smile a little. "Why don't you go first?"

"Well, I don't know them that much but I think Lok would be really supportive throughout the process. Like, he'll always be there attached to his side. Among the three of you, I think he's the most daddy's boy. Wuming would probably blackmail a doctor to do everything to save your dad—I mean, not like it was going to change anything since your father is going to get the best treatment either way."

"Yeah, that's a very good prediction."

"What about you? What do you think?"

"At one point, I think Lok would go in a corner and cry. Separate himself from the world. Wuming… I think he'd go on a killing spree. He'll be a serial killer. He'll be targeting men whose lungs are going to fit our father's for a transplant."

"Is a transplant still an option?"

Qing Chen shook his head. "He's beyond saving. He just wants to take this short vacation to know what else is there for him. Or at least what else is there that would extend his life for a few days…"

The words almost sliced Qing Chen's tongue. Last night, it was as if it was not his voice that said the words that his father was dying. He didn't recognize it and neither the words.

Feng Xuan's eyes lowered. If she were the one in Qing Chen's shoes, she wouldn't know how to get through another day thinking that it might be her father's last. It would rip her apart and she would want to spend everyday at his side. Make as many memories as possible maybe.

"What's your favorite memory with your dad?"

Qing Chen leaned out and breathed out. "That's really hard. He's not the best dad, that's a fact. But he also made an effort to get along with us when we were younger. When I was fourteen, he took me golfing. I thought he was there to teach me, but he was just as clueless as I was."

His lips automatically smiled at the memory. It was a week before he had to go back to school and he remembered how green the grass was and how warm was the sun. They spent the day trying out the different clubs, not really caring where the balls would go, and trying to make them go into the small holes. They had lunch at the club's buffet, the orange chicken were god tier and they ate until their stomachs were round. Then to cap it all, his father let him have a shot of whiskey. It was not his first time with alcohol but his face still wrinkled with its taste.

"That day," he breathed in to control the burning in his chest. "He said 'I am going to name you my successor in The Kingly Empire. You will run it with Lok. Wuming will get the mafia. Are you good with that?' I didn't really care that much with the mafia so I told him I could not wait to grow up and help him with the company.

"He told me, 'Chen, whatever happens, always remember that family comes first. The time will come that you and your brothers would wound each other and would go separate ways. But you always—always go back to your family. No matter what. No matter how bad it got. Don't forget that. The rest of the world can burn, but not us.'' I remember that very clearly because I told him I would never fight with my brothers and that we would all be together in our house. That we'll all stay together.

"But right now, I am no longer so sure of that either."