Chapter 87 - In Fragments

Qing Chen was awakened by the sound of Feng Xuan screaming. He was immediately on his feet, stunned for a moment as his hand that was holding hers in the first place felt like it was being torn from his arm. He held her thrashing body and and called, "Feng Xuan!"

Feng Xuan gave a final jerk and her eyes shot open, her eyes dilated before focusing on his face. There was fear in her eyes and she was slightly shaking. "Qing Chen?"

It was as if she only mouthed his name to him because almost no voice came out. "Hey, it's okay. You're awake," he said softly.

Relief flashed in her eyes as she took a deep breath and she went limp. She started to get up and winced when she felt pain shoot up all over her body. What is happening?

Qing Chen helped her in a sitting position, she was groaning all over the process but she made it. He handed her water and Feng Xuan was about to reach it but found that her dominant hand was on a sling. She groaned, feeling the needles on her throat. She finished the glass it in three huge gulps.

She gave a satisfied sigh and licked her cracked lips. Her eyes wandered in the room that looked like an expensive hotel room. Her voice still sounded hoarse. "What happened?" she asked Qing Chen who was sitting next to her on the bed.

"You got in an accident."

"Yeah, I remember that part," she said and reached to touch her head. She gave a gasp when she felt the roughness of the gauze. "Oh, no," she said. Her head snapped to Qing Chen, "Do I look ugly? Did something happen to my face?"

Qing Chen eyebrows wrinkled in amus.e.m.e.nt. "That's the first you're worried about?"

"Well?" she pressed. "Do I have a new face because the old one had been badly messed up?"

"No," Qing Chen chuckled. Feng Xuan noticed that some of the tension left his shoulders. Great, that was she was trying to do. "You look fine." He held his phone in front of her so she could look with the camera.

She was right that her head was wrapped in gauze. She tried poking it. "What happened with my head?"

"You got a cut there and they stitched it up."

Her jaw dropped. "I wanna see!"

"Yeah," Qing Chen said and pressed a button on something that looked like a remote. "Your doctor would be glad to know that you're finally up."

"What happened to my guards?" she asked, feeling a little guilty she had not wanted to know sooner. She kind of forgot they were in the car with her.

"Their both alive and resting."

"What about the other driver? The one in the truck?"

Qing Chen licked his lips before he answered. "He died." Not in the way you think.

"That sucks," she said, feeling sullen that someone passed away because of this. "The cause of the collision?"

"Lose breaks," Qing Chen said.

"Oh man," she answered. Just because of a technical problem, somebody had to die. "How long was I out?"

"Just a whole day. You're quite the survivor."

Feng Xuan grinned at him and was about to follow it with some remark when the doors opened. Her doctor walked in his pristine white coat with a small nurse behind him. He was old enough that his beard and eyebrows were flecked with with white. He did a series of basic tests.

"Is your head feeling okay?" he asked as he started to unwrap her head.

"It hurts," she said. "But not that much. Like I have a bad headache."

"It will help if you rest. Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

"Yeah, uhm, I mean, I remember seeing the truck rushing to the car and the window cracked." She shook her head, trying to remember the details but that was all her mind offered. "I think I lost consciousness then."

"Probably because that was the moment your head hit the window." The doctor handed her a small mirror and she saw the five stitches near the line of her scalp.

"It looks like a hairy centipede," she said. The cut was an angry red and the thread was black against her pale face.

The doctor chuckled and cleaned it up. "It'll look better in the next few days. But unfortunately, that scar is permanent."

Feng Xuan was disappointed but not sad. "It's fine. It's the mark of a war I've won. Right, husband?" she asked Qing Chen who was perched on the armrest of his seat.

"Of course," he smiled at her.

"No need to cover it?" she asked the doctor when he stopped patting it with a wet towel.

"It's okay. You just have to clean it regularly. How is your arm feeling?"

"Great," she said. She had no recollection of what happened to her arm. Her doctor gave her pain killers and an ice bag, advising her to stretch it a little. He also said that they were going to keep her until tomorrow just to make sure everything was okay, especially with her head. She said her thanks and he and the nurse went away.

Qing Chen was immediately back at her side and help her settle on the bed. "You were screaming earlier," he said quietly as he tucked her in. "Bad dream?"

Feng Xuan stared at the ceiling and nipped at her lip. "Yeah," she whispered. "You know, one of those dreams that you die?"

"You died in your dream?"

"I guess. It was about my mom," she said. "Maybe the accident was just triggering my memories of that day. But you know something was different about it. I was being hauled by silhouettes." Feng Xuan could not remember every detail in her dream. "Then I think it's a symbolism of death. It was just so dark and I could see my mom from a window and I could not remember if the car blew up. Then I was fighting to keep myself awake but darkness pulled me."

She turned to Qing Chen with a slight pout. He was watching her thoughtfully. "Is there anything else you dreamt about? Remembered?"

"No," she said, but then pulled it back. "I think I dreamt about being stuck in a small room and there was mirror, and same as the other one, I got swallowed by darkness too."

Qing Chen's throat moved, like there were words wanting out but he only said, "Bad dreams, huh?"

"Yeah," she nodded and wish she hadn't. Her mind dipped and pain punched at the side. She closed her eyes because it seemed to help. But her eyes shut open. No, she did not want to see darkness again.

"Your father was here this morning. He had just gotten back in Chengshi."

"He didn't stay?"

"He said he'll visit us once you're settled in the house. I already sent him a message that you're already up."

"Tell him I want to see him."

"Yes, I will."

Feng Xuan yawned and drowsiness was pulling her back. "Qing Chen, I'm sleepy." But she kept her eyes open.

"Then you should sleep."

"I'm scared though."

"Why?"

She prevailed in darkness when she was a child, curious on what it holds. But now… she knew she would sound like a kid, but it was a real fear that was starting. "What if I won't wake up? What if I dream again and this time darkness would take me forever?"

"That won't happen," he said. "I'll wake you up. I'll be here."

"Promise?" she asked.

He leaned down and kissed on her forehead. "I promise," he said, pressing another kiss on her cheek. Before he could land a kiss on her lips, Feng Xuan put her hand against his.

"I haven't brushed my teeth."

"I don't really care," he said and proceeded to give her a quick kiss. It sent tingles on her muscles and her heart soared as her stomach flipped.

It was a great reminder that she was alive. She clutched on Qing Chen's arm. "Tell me a story until I fall asleep."

"What do you want to hear?"

"Something about an adventure."

"Okay," he settled in his seat, holding on to Feng Xuan's hands with both of his. He started the story of three brothers and how they stole a hidden cookie jar. Feng Xuan's eyes watched him and slowly, her eyes started to flutter until she could not keep them open anymore. Before he got to the end, Feng Xuan was already asleep.

**

Feng Lizhao and Qing Chen was outside of Feng Xuan's VIP suite in the hospital. Feng Xuan's psychiatrist was looking at her patient through the slat on the door. She was still fast asleep and her father had come rushing the moment he found out his daughter was looking for him.

Qing Chen had recounted about Feng Xuan's dreams and his father confirmed that it was possibly what happened the day the car crash happened.

"But she says she does not remember anything else?" the psychiatrist asked, holding Feng Xuan's new brain scans against the light. She was a small woman with dyed black hair.

Qing Chen shook his head. He had been more than ready to tell Feng Xuan everything but here they were.

"I think she's starting to remember," the psychiatrist said. "In fragments. I suggest to let it come to her naturally because the last time she knew everything, she had tried a lot of things to end her pain. Just be prepared to answer anything when the time comes."

The two men nodded. "Thank you so much, doctor," Feng Lizhao shook the woman's hand.

"Let me know if something else comes up," she only replied and they said their farewells.

They entered Feng Xuan's room and Qing Chen took his seat with a sigh. He watched as Feng Lizhao leaned over his daughter—it might be a trick of light, but it looked like his eyes were shining with tears as he gently but tenderly stroked the top of Feng Xuan's head. But he was smiling.

"I miss you already, daughter. I can't wait to have you back."