Chapter 47 - Forty Six: I Miss Him

The next morning, Becca woke up laying on her living room rug, her eyes sore from crying and her throat parched. Her arms and neck also hurt from the awkward position she slept in. Becca sat up straight and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands but while rubbing it, her sight strayed to the bouquet laying next to her, and just like that, all the memories of what happened last night flooded her like a tsunami.

Becca mindlessly stared at the flowers for a while before dragging her eyes away from them as she didn't want to start crying again but it seemed to be too late because just as she turned her head away, she felt a teardrop rolling down her face.

'Damn it! Why does it hurt so much?' Becca asked herself, trying to blink away the hot tears that brewed in her eyes.

She knew that she couldn't go to work looking like fifty miles of shitty highway and start crying all over the place, so she decided to call Navaya and told her that she wouldn't be coming to work that day. But being the concerned friend Navaya was, she asked Becca if anything was wrong.

Navaya knew her friend, she knew how much of a workaholic Becca could be and if she called early in the morning to say she wouldn't be coming to work, then something was definitely wrong. But instead of Becca telling Navaya about what happened, she chose to keep it a secret for now. She didn't want to burden Navaya with her problems and just told her that she had a cold.

Becca went to her bathroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She saw her face look like a tired mess, her eyes were red from all the crying and bags that had formed under them. But despite how bad her face looked, it really wasn't something a little makeup couldn't fix but then again, what's the point? Makeup couldn't cover up the hurt she felt within her, could it?

Why was all this even happening? Why does her heartache like it just got crushed by a truck? The hurt feelings she was experiencing now couldn't be because she felt bad for rejecting Leo. No, it couldn't be, she had rejected tons of guys in the past so why was Leo's case so different? 

She missed him and couldn't deny it. It had only been a few hours since their painful breakup but she already missed him like crazy. All she wanted was to hear his voice, the voice that could make anything sound sexy. To hear him saying her name as passionately as he always did, to wrap his arms around her and hug her close, soothing her with the warmth of his body.

Fuck!

All these were supposed to be for the best, then why was it making her feel like shit?

Becca turned on the tap of her bathroom sink and started rinsing her face with the rushing water. When she was done, she turned off the water and took a towel to dry off her wet face. She then dragged her feet back to the living room and saw her phone and the bouquet still laying on the floor. She went to where they were, picked them up, and took them to her bedroom. 

There was a total of four bedrooms in Becca's apartment but she chose this particular one to be hers because it had a nice big balcony that she could have a beautiful view of the city from. The balcony had always been her favorite place in the entire apartment because she would always sit there when she wanted to clear her head. The fresh air that blew on her there was refreshing and the view was mesmerizing.

She placed the bouquet down gently and tossed her phone on the bed. She laid on the bed next to them with her back on the mattress and stared at the ceiling for the longest time. Having breakfast didn't even come close to crossing her mind as she just laid there like a sack of rice, thinking.

Fucking reliving every single moment she spent with Leo, how he devours her with his kisses, how much adoration she saw in his eyes when he stared at her.

Becca thought breaking up with him would be for the best, she thought it was the right thing to do for him. She didn't want to keep playing with his feelings like that but after she ended things with Leo, everything in her became painful. There was a void in her that begged to be filled but couldn't because she had successfully chased away the only person who could stop the hurt.

No, Leo said he wouldn't leave her. He said he would be watching over her, right? Did it mean that he was just around somewhere waiting for her to reach out to him? 

' Was he waiting for me to come to him?' Becca asked herself as another round of tears started streaming down her cheeks. If all it would take was for her to reach out to him to stop feeling the emptiness inside of her then she would gladly do it. She would reach out and never let go if possible.

Becca looked at her phone on the bed with her, recalling that she still had Leo's number saved on it. She picked it up, strolled through her contacts till she found Leo's but paused to think for a while.

If she dialed the number, what would she say? Would she be like... 'Uhm, Leo baby, I miss you so much and didn't mean to break up with you. Please don't hate me.'

Damn! How pathetic that would make her sound. But fuck being pathetic, she missed him badly.

The things she would do to feel his hot breath on her skin again, the tingly sensation she felt when he 'accidentally' touched her boobs.

So with shaky hands, she took a deep breath, not forgetting to swallow her pride, and finally dialed the number. It rang for a while but went straight to voicemail.

Dang it! 

She tried calling again, again and again, but the same thing kept happening. It was fucking frustrating. After seven attempts, she soon gave up and tossed her phone back on the bed. She sank her body into the softness of the mattress but while her body lay still, her mind all over the place.

" He said he would always be with me but yet he couldn't even pick up my calls." Becca thought out loud. ' Was he mad at me? Of course, he would be, who wouldn't be angry if the woman he dated for just a couple of hours came out of nowhere and breaks up with him?' Becca's thoughts started running as fast as a motorcycle engine.

She knew what she did was harsh, she would even understand if Leo never wanted to forgive her for it but in her defense, she was doing what she thought was right. Dating Leo just because he was attractive wasn't the best thing to do and deep down, even though Becca didn't want to admit it, she didn't want her relationship to end up like Navaya's. A loveless one-sided relationship wasn't what she wanted for herself. She didn't want to be trapped in a relationship where she would later be miserable.

Becca decided to just stay in her room, lying on her bed until she finally fell asleep again. Food didn't seem to be in her horoscope for that day because she barely ate anything. And by the time she woke up, it was already 6:00 pm. 

An entire day wasted on absolutely nothing.

Becca was woken up by the sound of knocking coming from her entrance door and sluggishly, she got herself out of bed to see who it was. She yawned on her way to the door, scratching her forearm, and didn't even bother to fix up her hair that looked worst than a bird's nest. She opened the front door and saw Navaya standing there, holding a big fancy box of chocolate in her hand.

Navaya, who stood there playfully drawing weird shapes with her shoe on the floor, looked up and furrowed her brows in confusion her eyes met Becca's sad tired ones. Without even being asked to come in, she moved closer to Becca and threw her arms around her, enveloping her in the warmth of a friendly embrace but that wasn't the embrace Becca badly wanted to be in. The warmth she felt from Navaya couldn't be compared to the one she felt in Leo's arms. 

Damnit! Now she was even comparing Leo to Navaya. Who the hell does that?

" Becca, what's wrong? Why are your eyes red? You look unwell, does Leo know you are sick?" Navaya asked in a slight panic as she broke the hug, her pretty brown eyes strictly scanning Becca like a worried mother checking her child's body for injuries. But on hearing Leo's name, Becca's waterworks started again. Navaya stared at Becca in confusion when she saw tears rolling down her face and moved closer. " Becca, what happened?" Navaya cupped Becca's face in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears.

" Navaya, we broke up and I miss him. It hurts, bestie." Becca sobbed and threw herself on Navaya for support.

" Wait, let's go inside first then you have to tell me exactly what happened." Navaya led Becca back into her bedroom where she cried her eyes out in Navaya's arms.

Becca ended up spilling everything that happened last night to Navaya who listened attentively with a sorry expression on her face. After Becca was done spilling her guts to her, Navaya pulled her into another hug and gently patted her on the back.

" Bestie, I'm so sorry that it had to happen but you really shouldn't have compared the relationship you had with Leo to the one I have with Ace when they are both totally different. What were you thinking?" Navaya asked, still patting her sobbing friend on the back.

" I don't know, when Leo said he loved me and I didn't feel the same way for him, I wasn't ready to feel the same way. I thought it would be unfair to be with him if I didn't feel the same way and I thought I would just be playing with his feelings." Becca sobbed and soon started hiccuping. Navaya then stood up and went to the kitchen to get Becca some water. Once she returned, she handed Becca a bottle of water and sat back on the bed.

Becca uncapped the bottle and drank from it while Navaya waited for her to finish drinking before saying anything else so Becca wouldn't choke. Becca drank her fill of the water and kept the rest on her nightstand before settling back on the bed.

" I get that you are still new in the whole relationship thing so I don't want to say it was all your fault but you don't expect yourself to instantly have feelings for someone. It's a gradual process and the time it takes for people to catch feelings differs. Leo might have liked you from the first time he saw you, fell in love with you when he got close to you but you don't expect the same thing to happen to you. It doesn't happen that way, you guys can't fall in love at the same time but at least you were attracted to him. You had a crush on him that is blooming into strong feelings, feelings that you should have given time to manifest before making a rash decision like that." Navaya lectured and Becca shot her a glare.

" Are you here to comfort me or lecture me, mother." Even when Becca was heartbroken, she still could be very sarcastic. Navaya chose to ignore Becca's sarcasm and kept rubbing her back till Becca spoke up again. " I'm sure he hates me right now, he doesn't even want to talk to me. He didn't pick up any of my calls."

" Sweetie, he doesn't hate you," Navaya assured but Becca wasn't having any of it. She shook her head, refusing to believe Navaya, and picked up her phone. Becca unlocked her phone and showed Navaya her call logs with her seven unanswered calls listed boldly on the screen.

" Just watch, watch what happens when I dial his number," Becca said and instantly dialed Leo's number for the eighth time that day. The call rang for a while but went straight to voicemail, just as it had done during the previous times Becca tried to call Leo.

If he didn't hate her and wasn't ignoring her, then why didn't he bother to pick up? It had been hours since Becca's last call so why didn't he call her back?

" This doesn't mean anything, he could just be somewhere blowing off some steam. He might be upset that he got dumped by the woman he loves in less than twenty-four hours into the relationship but it doesn't mean he hates you." Navaya tried to comfort Becca but ended up making her feel even worst and more guilty.

" I know, I'm such a horrible person, Navaya. Like who the hell does that?" Becca covered her face with her hands while Navaya sighed and kept patting her back. When she saw that Becca had come down a little, she picked up the box of chocolate and shook it in Becca's face.

" Let's forget about Leo Kane for a while, I got you chocolate, your second favorite. I would have gotten you your favorite which is Ice cream but you told me you had a cold so tadaa." Navaya said and opened the box in front of Becca, hoping she could cheer her up with chocolate. " Have some." Navaya pick up a piece from the box and brought it close to Becca's lips but she just shook her head, refusing to have any.

" I don't want anything." Becca refused and laid her body on the bed, turning away from Navaya.

Navaya let out a sigh when she saw Becca was ignoring her and probably wanted to be alone but instead of leaving her, she put down the box of chocolate on the nightstand and joined Becca on the bed. Navaya wrapped her arm around Becca's waist and cuddled her like a baby.

" Navaya, I don't know what I feel for him anymore," Becca said out of nowhere after a while of silence and Navaya rested her chin on Becca's shoulder.

" What you feel is called love, Becca. It's still small and tender but it's there." Navaya responded and Becca closed her eyes and started drifting off to sleep again.

" Boss," Alfonso said once he saw the call had been connected.

" What did you find out today?" Leo asked, sitting on the expensive leather couch in his room.

" She didn't leave her apartment even once today but someone did come to visit her. A woman who I suppose is her friend because of the way they hugged each other. From what I saw today, Rebecca looked sad, like she had been crying all day and she did mention something about missing a guy to her friend." Alfonso reported as he had been monitoring Becca's apartment all day, keeping watch on her as Leo had ordered.

On hearing Alfonso's report, Leo felt a prickling pain in his chest. He knew that he was the one Becca was referring to. His beloved missed him but he couldn't go to her, not yet at least. He had seen her calls, purposely refused to pick them up even though all he wanted was to go to her and make her feel loved, embrace her in his arms, he had a goal to accomplish. A resolve to stick to. That was why he couldn't go to Becca, why he couldn't have her in his arms now but not to worry, there was a time for everything and their time was yet to come.. The time that he would have her to himself was fast approaching and when it does, not even God would stop him from having her.