Chapter 1177

"Levine?"

Jane didn't get an answer to her question. On the contrary, Levine fell into his own thoughts. The room was quiet for a moment, which made Jane more angry. Even in the process of conversation, Levine would be distracted. As always, he was a jerk, and Jane cried out again.

Levine regained his mind. The daze in his eyes still did not dissipate. Jane spread out her hands and looked incredible. Then she asked with her eyes.

Levine reacts and suddenly retracts his jaw. But then his brain comes back to him. He realizes that the words they are talking about just now, which come to his mouth, become "no, it's OK.".

Subconsciously, he raised his hand and waved it, but then he felt deeply tired and shook his head helplessly. Even the power of words almost disappeared, leaving only a sigh. The drooping eyes covered the flash of bitterness, and then recovered calm again, only deep fatigue.

Jane quietly looked at Levine. Her tired heaviness and laziness were reflected in her pupils. She was a little confused and worried, but after all, she covered it up completely and didn't make a surprise again. She was not curious and didn't explore. She changed the topic abruptly. "Papi is willing to let you perform tomorrow and make a few dollars."

Plain words did not fluctuate, like a pool of stagnant water, but inadvertently fell on Levine's body again, but her eyes revealed her true feelings. Even she did not realize it. She gently searched for the expression fluctuation between her eyebrows. Fortunately, Levine dropped her eyes and didn't notice her sight.

Levine shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, but the movement was so slight that he could hardly see it. However, he still could not control the faint pain and fatigue coming from his head. He raised his right hand, pressed his temple with his fingertips, trying to relieve some of the pain. Instead, his eyebrows wrinkled and his headache began to crack.

"No, he will not." Jane's words, he heard, Levine gently exhaled a breath, with a trace of boredom and repulsion to refute, and then the words suddenly stopped, as if the brain stuck in general, right hand down, make a gesture spread out, in mid air, Leng for a moment, then find their own voice, "I was less than a month ago there to perform."

The brain turns too slowly, just like a rusty gear.

"He will." Jane raised her voice and said aloud, "I asked him."

"Wow." Levine raised his eyes and met Jane's eyes. The sight full of repulsion and disgust seemed to be calming down gradually, but it was calm, and there was no emotion or fluctuation. The disheartened alienation and indifference slightly touched Levine's mind. He was a little embarrassed.

"Thank you... Thank you. It's very kind of you to do that. " Levine takes his eyes back, avoids Jane's eyes again, and closes them heavily.

All the wishful thinking, all the details, all the sidelights, all cut off, he was tired of, tired of all, tired of thinking, tired of guessing, tired of camouflage, tired of persistence, tired of testing, even tired of cynicism, he just wanted to... Want to have a good rest.

His talent and dream, his music and persistence are worthless in people's eyes. They are just the groans of a down and out bastard, whining and complaining in the bar. They are worthless and meaningless, and even have no entertainment effect. His art and creation, in the gray of Greenwich Village, always stay quietly in a corner.

Even his father, who once loved music, seems to have given up——

When he went to the sanatorium to visit his father and played his father's favorite ballad before, his father was completely unconscious and unable to understand it. Then he became incontinent and sat on the rocking chair peacefully. It seemed that even the most basic sense of shame of human beings had completely disappeared.

In the face of survival, those melodies and lyrics are no longer meaningful, let alone the hidden life experience.

So, does persistence make sense?

He thought of Mickey.

What's more ridiculous is that he can't even leave and give up now.

He tried to become a sailor and return to his normal life. Just like countless ordinary people in society, he tried to find a simple job, live in peace and order, and put all those unrealistic ideas together. At least he said goodbye to the life of sleeping and wandering in Greenwich Village.

But the crew card has been discarded by my sister. He had to go back to the union building to make up all the materials.

Dragging his luggage to Chicago, back to Greenwich Village, to the crew center, to the sanatorium, back to his sister's house... Along the way, he couldn't hold on any longer. He needed to put down these luggage. So before going to the union building, he came to Jim and Jane's apartment.

After a circle of thinking, the deep feeling of powerlessness came back to his mind. He was at a loss and bitter. He still closed his eyes and breathed out a breath. The pain in his mind seemed to be becoming more and more obvious, "but..."

Turning words in the tip of the tongue spin, and then opened his eyes, quietly looked at the past, the deep sense of fatigue in the eyes bit by bit to drag, it seems to be pulling the eyebrows slowly down, finally calmly said, "I quit." After calmly speaking out, there is no relief in imagination, and there is no hard pain in imagination, just... Calm.

"I'm done." So says Levine. Looking at Jane flatly, there was no emotion in her eyes. "I'm going to go back to the merchant ship."

"What? That's it? " There is no gap. Jane seems to be shocked by accident, and the words of conditioned response come out directly. But on second thought, she suspects that Levine is just talking. It's like a child's temper tantrums. "Tomorrow's performance may be good for you."

Levine's mood is still fluctuating, but his eyebrows are slightly raised, which makes Jane a little angry. He can't help looking up at the sky, but he's not moved. "For the 400th time in the gas bar? For that little tip? " Before that, 399 times were not successful. Why is the 400th time different?

That sarcastic tone let Jane dumbfounded, the corner of the mouth pulled up, "in fact, that little tip and other people share."

Levine just laughed, "Hey." Absurd to the extreme, also helpless to the extreme, lowered the head, pause for a while, then gently shook his head, quietly laughed.

This is his situation. His dream and art are only worth a tip basket. The tip basket shared with other performers is shared equally. Think about their own situation, think about Mickey's situation, think about their own persistence, all things become ridiculous, the more you think about it, the more incredible.

"There are other performers there." Jane added that she could capture Levine's tiredness and helplessness, and the strong irony surged up. It seemed that she finally realized that Levine today was different after all, which made Jane's tone soften a little bit. "However, people from time magazine will show up."

"Oh!" Time magazine '! " The long ending is full of strong irony and ridicule. It bursts out sharply and red fruit, and ridicules it severely. The bitterness of cynicism once again shows its edge, and the pride and purity in the heart are displayed incisively and vividly at this moment.

This is the familiar Levine.

Jane pursed the corners of her mouth and looked at Levine with a smile. Her bright eyes were shining with a funny light. Her shallow smile was like a spring flowing into a lake, mixed with the bright and gentle moonlight.

Under the gaze of these eyes, Levine was a little embarrassed, and a smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, "I'm sorry." But the smile soon disappeared in the corner of his mouth like smoke. After a moment of stupefaction, he took a serious posture, unconsciously closed his jaw, looked at Jane wholeheartedly, and said sincerely, "sorry, thank you for your kindness."

Then, Jane saw deep tiredness in her eyes, not despair, but frustration.

Despair is the tragedy after the hope is broken; But to lose heart is to hope that never existed. Frustrated calm and numbness, is so sharp, and so fierce, indifferent and calm, silent roar, but let the soul can clearly feel the surge of emotion.

For the first time, Jane realized that Levine, who used to be arrogant, arrogant and arrogant, was disappearing little by little, covered with bruises, blood and vicissitudes. It's not a joke.

Levine's voice has never been more gentle, light hoarse, just like the wheat waves in the breeze, but not the joy of harvest, but the desolation, "but there will be no result." He said.

Levine quietly looked at Jane, pulled the corners of his mouth, but eventually failed to pull out a smile, just meaninglessly sipped, "I'm tired."

That simple sentence is as heavy as a precipitous one, which is heavy on Jane's mind. Levine Davis, whom she once fell for, was crazy about and longed for, finally could not hold on any longer and became an ordinary human; After all his talents dissipated, he was no longer handsome. He looked like an ordinary sailor, passing by and forgetting.

That once bright and moving soul, now has been devastated.

Only then did Jane really realize that she had loved him.

Slightly opened his mouth, words so stuck in the throat, compared with sad, more absurd and unwilling, how can he give up? How can he surrender? How can he compromise?

Shouldn't he continue to stick to it, ridicule every materialist around him wantonly and blatantly, continue to move forward wantonly and blatantly, and continue to be a jerk that people can't like but can't hate in the eyes of nit picking and disdain.

How can he give up! This asshole!