23 Chapter 23: Time to party!

For the next week, I managed to earn quite a bit of money by taking various quests. Thanks to the second day, where I hauled in a bunch of goblins, including the goblin shaman and hobgoblin, I had managed to rake in enough income to last me for two months. After that day, I never left home without my Redwood jacket.

I also made sure to inquire about the types of herbs and find out about them, so I could rely on those simple, non-life-threatening quests to make some more money over the next week or so. The two days of goblins had given me enough excitement for the week, and I wanted something milder. Thankfully, I didn't encounter any new pack of goblins after the first two days.

"You're now an Obsidian rank," the receptionist – his name was Hughes – told me as I brought in a bunch of herbs. "You know that you can take quests with higher difficulties, right?"

"Even if you say that…I'm not sure what kind of quests I should take. I barely started a week ago, you know?"

"Ah. That's right. But we're a bit shorthanded at the moment." Hughes frowned as he glanced at the mercenaries milling inside the guild house. "Speaking of which, have you seen Murdock? He's been missing for about a week now."

"…who?"

"Uh, never mind. You're new, after all. You wouldn't know anyone from here." Hughes scratched his head and sighed. "Maybe Murdock got into some trouble. He's always been a greedy fellow, looking for the easiest way to make the most money. I wouldn't be surprised if he bit off more than he could chew this time."

Somehow I remembered the mercenary who tried to murder me for my loot on my second day as a mercenary. Perhaps that was Murdock…no, it was highly likely that guy was Murdock, but I wasn't stupid enough to tell Hughes that I was the one who killed him and ate him.

That would certainly not go down well with him.

"Oi, Tanaka."

Hughes suddenly remembered something and called out to me just as I was about to leave. I turned back, cocking my head in puzzlement.

"What is it?"

"If I recall correctly, you're a user of Regeneration magic, right?"

"Eh?"

Now that I thought about it, I did use Regeneration successfully on the goblin on the first day. Never mind the goblin ungratefully tried to kill me after I saved its life, but the important point was that I could cast it on other people.

"Ah, yes. I suppose I am. What about it?"

"Good. Follow me."

Hughes waked around his desk and gestured for me to follow him. I obeyed and found myself standing in front of a bulletin board, which featured lots of quests. I stared at the details, and saw that they were almost exclusively subjugation or hunting quests that were worth a lot of money in terms of reward and difficulty.

"But I don't want them," I muttered. "Other people are a liability. They'll just get in the way."

"…"

Hughes stared at me, wondering if I was joking. Yet, he recalled that I was the guy who took on a bunch of goblins solo in two consecutive days and wiped them all out by myself. However, he was troubled by my edgy attitude, so I sighed.

"I understand. If they're fine with me, then I'll join them."

I wasn't very enthusiastic about it, but admittedly there was strength in numbers. If I was in a party, the incident with Murdock probably wouldn't happen. He wouldn't be bold enough to attack a group, even if they were exhausted after a mission.

"All right then." Hughes sounded very relieved. "Just be careful and try not to bring any trouble to the guild."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Ah…you know, scandals and all that."

"What kind of scandals?"

Hughes wore an expression that seemed to say, just how innocent is this kid? He caught me glowering at him impatiently, and sighed.

"No, nothing. I was thinking that you'll be more suited for a particular party, given your age. You'll probably get along with them more than the others."

So Hughes already had a specific party in mind to recommend me to. That was kind of suspicious, given the timing and all that.

"Okay…what kind of party are they?" I asked, pushing away my apprehension. If worst came to worst and they betrayed me, I could just kill them and have them for lunch, like I did with Murdock and my other enemies.

"It's a party called 'Pure Guardians.' They're a low-ranking group whose members are around 16 years old – the same age as you, if I remember correctly."

Just as Hughes was elaborating, the door creaked open and a couple of girls stepped into the guild house. Hughes looked up and smiled.

"Ah, speak of the devil. They're here."

As I said, I found the timing super-suspicious. Did Hughes plan this all in advance? Holding back a sigh, I turned around.

Oh?

I recognized the first girl. She was the beautiful noble-like lady with a short, black skirt and a black cape, as well as long, flowing golden hair that I saw on my first day visiting the mercenary guild. Behind her was a second girl, equally beautiful, but her faint, violet hair was obscured by a darker purple hood that ran seamlessly into what seemed like a magician's cloak, that was pinned to her chest by an arcane-looking jewel.

"Uh, okay…"

I didn't know what to make of it, but Hughes just gestured for me to stay where I was.

"I'll introduce you to them later."

Hughes waited for the third member of the party – the handsome young man with blond hair and pristine silver armor that I saw on my first day as well – to enter before he waved him over. I watched as the bald, dark-skinned receptionist spoke to the three-man party for a few minutes before he stepped away and handed the reins to the young man.

"Over here! You're the new party member that Hughes is introducing, right?"

The young man waved to me affably, and I scurried over. Bowing my head politely, I expressed my gratitude.

"Ah, that's right. Thanks for having me. I look forward to working with you."

"I'm Alan," the blond knight introduced himself with a smart posture. "As Hughes has already told you, I'm from Pure Guardians. The pleasure is all mine."

"Hello, I'm Tanaka." I almost gave my full name, Tanaka Tomoyuki, but decided against it. If word got out that there was a "Tanaka Tomoyuki" going around having adventures in a party of mercenaries, I was sure it would draw the attention of my murderous former classmates. I wasn't sure what they had against me exactly, but I knew they would try to track me down and kill me if they found out that I was still alive. Like Tsukishima Tomoyo, Minamoto Kureha, and Kijima Takeshi.

Ah, damn it. I'm such an idiot.

To my horror, I realized that I had registered myself as Tanaka Tomoyuki under the guild. That was such a stupid mistake. If the heroes conduct even the lightest of investigations, they would uncover my name easily and track me down to the mercenary guild. I should have used an alias, but it was too late.

Unaware of my troubled thoughts, Alan excitedly shook my hand.

"During our last mission, a member in the rearguard was hurt. We're a man short, so it's really great that we're able to find someone like you to help us out!"

"Ah, nah, I'm not sure if I'll be able to do much…"

As I brushed off Alan's excited greeting and friendly handshake, a sharp voice cut into our male bonding.

"Hey."

Folding her arms, the girl named Alicia was glaring at me sourly and keeping her distance. The hooded magician girl beside her was also warily watching me and staying silent. I felt hostility radiating from the both of them.

"Is this the guy?"

Alicia evidently didn't seem pleased that I was the recommended replacement for their injured member.

Why do girls always seem to have something against me? I wondered, my shoulders sagging. I had thought it was only my female classmates, but even in another world, girls naturally gravitated toward hating me. I was beginning to think I was cursed. Then again, girls from other classes didn't dislike me, and Miranda treated me quite decently. Even if I was a guest, she showed no signs of unease or hatred when talking to me.

Maybe it was just my luck.

Alan ignored his companions' hostility and gently pushed them over. Alicia sent him a sharp glance, but he pointedly disregarded her and continued smiling at me.

"Let me introduce them to you. They are Alicia and Sophia."

Alicia stared at me coldly, not saying a single word. Sophia at least had the decency to bow her head politely but she also remained silent. I was relieved to see that Sophia wasn't as hostile as Alicia, but the latter was blatantly glaring at me in a condescending manner. I suppressed a sigh and lowered my head, partly to greet them politely, and partly to avert my gaze. It had been a year of hell in my high school, but I still wasn't used to such unreasonable hatred from girls. It was as if they seemed to naturally dismiss as creepy and disgusting.

Was it my appearance? Some sort of aura I was emanating? My plain looks and glasses? My slouched posture?

Noticing my gloominess, Alan quickly stepped forward and bowed his head.

"I apologize for Alicia, she seems to be in a bad mood."

"Ah, I don't really mind." Desperate to change the subject, I glanced at the bulletin board to avoid noticing the hostile glare from Alicia. "So what are we doing?"

"Our mission this time is the subjugation of orcs," Alan told me. Alicia blanched at that, looking even more disgusted than before.

"Orcs?" she whined. "Uwa….that's the worst."

What the hell was she, spoiled? If she couldn't stand subjugating orcs, then why was she a mercenary?

"Orcs…are they stronger than goblins?" I asked apprehensively. Given how I was almost killed by goblins on the second day of being a mercenary, I was understandably cautious. I wasn't afraid – if I needed to slay orcs, I would gladly do so – but even with my Redwood Robe, I didn't want to get caught by surprise again.

"Ah, yes. They are, but don't worry. They're still enemies that we can handle easily enough. We'll make sure to keep you safe. All you need to do is stay at the back and heal us."

"No, that's not what I mean…"

I was about to explain, but then I gave up. Alicia was now glowering at me, revolted by what she perceived to be cowardice. There was a difference between caution and cowardice – underestimating the enemy would get one killed. But I felt like she would refuse to listen to any explanation I might have, so I said nothing.

She 100% hates me. Ugh.

I didn't care if she was a beautiful bishoujo or a noble lady, it was not a pleasant sensation and I wasn't masochistic enough to enjoy being hated by others, especially girls. Chewing on my lip, I pulled together the tatters of my pride and forced a smile.

"I understand. Please look after me. And don't hesitate to use me in frontline duties if you have to. I can do more than healing."

"Ah, no…the healer is like the most important member of the group. It'll be a disaster if you get hurt and taken out early."

"Don't worry, I won't die that easily."

I was telling the truth, but Alan didn't know that. He merely smiled and waved his hands frantically as I bowed politely, evidently relieved that I was still willing to work with them despite Alicia's atrocious attitude.

"Sure, I believe you. And thank you! The pleasure's all mine."

With the formalities done, Alan straightened up and turned away, his bright smile still plastered across his ikemen face.

"Now then, let's head toward the designated village."

"Ah, yes." I paused and stared at him. "Wait, designated village?"

"Oh, right." Alan nodded. "The request comes from Mura Village. They've sighed a horde of orcs approaching their two, probably remnants of the demon army that the heroes defeated last week. Ever since the heroes slew the Demon Lord, the demons have fallen into a disarray and surviving bands have been roaming about, attacking villages and towns in the outskirts."

"I see."

Without a leader, the demonic forces had fallen into anarchy and were just desperately lashing out to survive on their own. At this rate, the demons were doomed.

It wasn't as if I was counting on the demons to help me in my revenge against the heroes, and it seemed less likely that I would be the next Demon Lord. Hell, even with Machiavellian Charisma, the goblins refused to obey me. Either my current level was not high enough or I wasn't using the special skill correctly.

For now, I'll just live and hide among the humans.

Following Alan and the girls, I saw that the handsome knight had hired the services of a carriage. The four of us climbed atop the wooden carriage, and once we were seated comfortably, the driver glanced back at us with a grin.

"All ready?"

"Yes, Mister." Alan flashed him a thumb's up. "Let's go."

"Right-o!" the driver yanked on the reins of the horse and directed it to go. Before long, the carriage sped out of the city and toward the village.

The girls pointedly ignored me as they conversed among each other, sometimes dragging Alan into the conversation. While Sophia didn't seem to hate me that much, and true to form was quiet most of the time, Alicia almost strove to exclude me from the conversation. Actually, it wasn't that bad. She just pretended that I didn't exist.

Left out of the conversation, despite Alan's best attempts to politely pull me in, I decided to drift off and take a nap. I had no idea how far Mura Village was from the city, but from what Alan said, it was a few hours. So I seized the chance to take a nap.

"We're here!"

I woke up when the carriage came to a stop, my body aching from lying against the hard wood. Unlike modern transports, the carriage didn't have cushions or comfortable seating – it was nothing but solid wood that resembled park benches than actual chairs.

I wasn't the only one who was aching. As we got off and pulled our luggage out of the carriage, Alicia was complaining.

"Ah, I'm tired, and my butt hurts."

"Don't say that, Alicia," Alan reprimanded her gently. I silently agreed. If you were tired, why didn't you sleep in the carriage like I did?

That said, I was in no position to talk to them. The three of them were walking some distance ahead of me while I hung back, a solitary figure in the streets. Sighing, I glanced up and saw that it was evening. The journey had taken so long that the afternoon had flown by and the sun was already on the verge of dipping beneath the horizon.

"So we're going to locate the orcs and subjugate them tomorrow?" I asked loudly from the back. Alan turned back and nodded with a smile.

"Yeah. We'll start the mission proper tomorrow. For now, we'll just check in as soon as possible and rest for tonight. Sounds good to you?"

"Yes, please," Sophia said in a soft and dignified manner.

"I second that!" Alicia added excitedly as she pushed Alan forward.

"Sure," I mumbled, but I was under no illusions that my vote or opinion meant anything.

The four of us dropped by the nearest inn, which was at the edge of the village. Alan and the girls headed to the counter and spoke to the innkeeper, who nodded and issued us two keys. Turning to me, Alan smiled reassuringly.

"We'll be taking two rooms, if you don't mind. Of course the rooms will be split by gender, so you'll be rooming with me."

"I understand."

Private rooms were more expensive, so we had agreed on this accommodation earlier. With that settled, I helped the girls carry their luggage upstairs to their room, and then hauled mine to the room I shared with Alan.

Again, the girls' attitudes were in stark contrast with each other. While Alicia blatantly ignored my existence, Sophia politely bowed to express her gratitude when I placed her luggage on her bed. She didn't talk much, but at least she had manners.

I returned her thanks with a nod, then proceeded to follow Alan out of the girls' room and toward ours with our luggage in tow.

"What do you plan to do tonight?" Alan asked as I flopped down on the bed. I pushed my glasses up my nose as I stared at the ceiling, keenly aware that I had no need of such visual aid after my transformation into an undead but wanting to keep up appearances.

"Hmm, maybe I'll go look around town or something. Do you guys want some food?"

"Nah, I'm not hungry. I'll go hang out with the girls or something."

"Sure." I got up from the bed. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Have fun!"

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Alan waved as I left the room. I smiled before I shut the door and proceeded down the rickety stairs.

Hang out with the girls? Yeah, right.

Unfortunately for them, I knew exactly what they were going to do. I had read Tanaka the Wizard, after all. I was well aware that they were going to have a threesome in the girls' room, and I didn't want to be a fourth wheel and listen to all the moans and groans.

So instead I headed straight to the tavern after leaving the girls. Unfortunately, the inn didn't have a tavern, so I was forced to make a detour and explore the town instead.

Where should I go?

I sure as hell wasn't going back to the inn. I didn't want to stumble upon the three of them fucking each others' brains out like a certain ossan. Nope, I had better things to do. Plus I would get reported for plagiarism because people hated parodies for some reason.

"Um, where's the nearest tavern?" I asked the innkeeper the moment I returned to the first floor. The innkeeper barely looked up as he mumbled a reply and vaguely pointed out of the door. I rolled my eyes, knowing that his directions were useless, but still thanked him and departed.

"What should I do now?"

There was the option of exploring the town. So I took that option and wandered around the streets, trying to satisfy my curiosity.

Mura Village was bustling with activity, and it was nearly sundown, so all the farmers and laborers were returning home. I smiled as I watched the children spill out of their houses to welcome their parents. It was such a moving scene.

It reminded me of my own family. I wondered how they were doing now. My parents must be worried, especially after I had disappeared for so long. Though I didn't know how temporality worked in Restia, and through the transportation spells, it was possible that six months had passed in my previous world. It was also possible that no time had passed at all, and if I tried to return there, I would find myself back in the classroom one second after everyone was summoned to Restia. Yet it was entirely possible that I would myself transported to an Earth a few hundred years in the future.

The ways of the Warp…uh…otherworldly travels worked in mysterious ways.

Well, no point thinking about it. Whatever happens, happens. I'll worry about it when the time comes. If it will ever come.

There was also the scenario of me not being able to return to my original world. But I didn't want to think too much about that.

"Ha…"

Getting overly depressed over such gloomy thoughts, I proceeded down the streets alone. In a small village like this, there was no brothel, and no hookers coming out to hook men. Which was a good thing because I wasn't interested in such things. I was a romantic person and would prefer to do it with a girl I liked, not some random prostitute that I had to pay.

Unfortunately, it's clear that no girl in this universe will ever like me.

I scowled when I remembered Alicia's scorn. That bitch. She would regret ever treating me like this.

While I was toying with the notion of playing a prank on her, I suddenly noticed a strange movement in the corner of the village.

"That's…?"

Blinking, I rushed forward. There was a little green creature clawing at the fence of a house.

"H…help!"

The residents of the house seemed pretty terrified for some reason, despite the intruder being such a tiny, scrawny thing. I raised an eyebrow at them, but said nothing and proceeded toward the little green thing.

It was a goblin.

To be precise, it was actually a gretchin. Or a grot. You know, one of those tiny greenskins that accompanied the Orks, looting and searching for opportunities to get rich while simultaneously trying not to get killed by their bigger cousins.

"Hey!" I called out to it.

The gretchin growled and then twisted around to lunge at me. I sighed and shook my head, raised my hand and punched the poor thing through its gut.

Let's be honest. With my Redwood jacket, the damned thing wouldn't be able to scratch me anyway. Plus it was what, Strength 2? It would need to roll a 5 to wound me. And that was assuming it would even land a hit, given its poor WS.

Unfortunately, reality wasn't dependent on dice rolls and the gretchin would have hit me anyway. So I killed it before it could even touch me. It was so weak that my fist could easily punch a hole through its body. It was practically like swatting a fly.

I almost felt sorry for the poor gretchin. Almost.

"It's okay now!" I called out to the frightened farmer, who was still holding a rake and guarding his family despite being terrified. He stared at me, his mouth wide.

"You…you're a soldier? A mercenary?"

"Yeah."

I nodded and showed my ID. The farmer gaped at me for a moment, then noticed the staff I had slung on my back.

"A wizard?"

Why the fuck did everyone insist on calling me a wizard? Just because I am Tanaka, doesn't mean I am a bloody wizard! Do I look like a forty-year-old ossan to you?!

Despite the irritation building up inside me, I took a deep breath and calmed down before nodding vaguely.

"If you want to believe that."

"Thank Evelyn!" the farmer sank to his knees. "I…"

Whatever he was about to say was cut off by heavy grunting. To the left, at the remote corner of a garden, I saw a massive brute charging its way through. It wielded a choppa, hacking and slashing through the filmsy fence.

"Aieeeeeeeeeee!"

The farmer's wife screamed. The farmer himself stood up and raised his rake, perspiring profusely in fear but nonetheless resolute in defending his family to the death.

"I've got it."

I raised my hand and approached the brute. As I drew near, I saw that it was one hell of an ugly monster, with green skin, tusks and filmsy armor that exposed broad muscles and tough skin. This monstrosity looked tougher than the gretchin I just killed.

Noticing that I was there, the Orc lifted its head and leered at me.

"Puny hummie," it growled. I grinned back and imitated an Orc as best as I could.

"Waaagh!"

The Orc was stunned, and then it grinned back.

"Waaagh!"

"Waaagh!"

"Waaagh!"

The farmer and his family watched, bemused by the sudden of events as the Orc and I took turns yelling at each other.

"Uh…what are you doing?"

"Trying to be a warboss," I replied. When it heard that, the Orc scoffed.

"Puny hummie wants to be a warboss? Hah! I is gonna bash your head in and wear it like trophy! Weak hummie! All hummies will die!"

While it ranted, I blasted its head off with Doombolt. The headless Orc slumped down, blood bursting out of its neck like a geyser.

"E…eh?"

The farmer and his family were staring at me, half in amazement and half in shock. I shrugged flippantly.

"He didn't want me as his warboss, so I offed him. Best way to prove my mettle as a warboss is through strength."

"Couldn't you have done that from the start?!" the farmer's wife wailed. I glared at her and she went still.

"I'm a mercenary. I don't work for free."

"Uh…so why were you yelling 'Waaagh' at it?" the farmer's eight-year-old daughter asked nervously. I smiled at her, and she relaxed with a giggle.

"I told you…I was trying to be its warboss. If I succeeded, I can get a bunch of looted weapons, shootas, Battlewagons and Trukks. Maybe a Deff Dread or even a Morkanaut, if I'm lucky. Nah, maybe a Gorkanaut would be better…I doubt they're able to build Stompas or Gargants yet…"

Though I said that, the real reason was for me to test my Machiavellian Charisma. I wanted to see if I was finally able to talk demons into following me or conscript them under my leadership. As it turned out, I failed badly.

Machiavellian Charismas still wasn't working.

"Oh well…at least I tried. This sucks. I knew expecting a Stompa or a Gorkanaut would be unrealistic, but I was hoping to get a looted Battlewagon at least…"

"What the heck are you talking about?!" the wife demanded. I shook my head.

"Sorry. Anyway, to prevent future Orc infestations, can you please kindly burn the bodies?"

"S…sure," the farmer stammered. I smiled and bowed gratefully.

"Oh, and one last thing…where's the tavern in this village?"