484 Her Deepest Desires

Xhemin certainly wasn't done talking with Darryl. She was desperate to have L Empire already especially right then when Willow and Wolfe had already been exposed. It seemed like she could not delay it longer so in her desperation, she ended up waiting for him at their home. The previous days, she had avoided him and pretended to be asleep already when he came home but this time, she sat in the living room with her nightgown patiently for the door to open and reveal her husband. However, the night had deepened and the door remained closed. For the first time on so many nights, Xhemin worried about him. It was so unusual for Darryl to come home late and she knew something surely happened that delayed him from coming home.

Xhemin pacing around Darryl's apartment wondering whether or not she should call Dannah to ask her husband's whereabouts. Undecided, she clung into the wireless telephone and bit her nails. Where could Darryl be? It was past one in the morning already and there was no sign of him. She was about to dial the phone when she heard the door opened. 

Darryl entered and immediately stumbled at the entrance as he was struggling to keep his balance. He was drunk, obvious from his almost red face and the harsh smell of liquor that came with him. When she saw Xhemin's surprised face in the living, he chuckled.

"My wife is awake...were you waiting for me?" He asked and walked swaying toward her. By the looks of it, Xhemin was certain Darryl would not be able to keep his balance so she ran to support him. The moment their body collided, Darryl turned to her neck and draw in her scent, "Oh you smells so good,"

"Why the hell are you drunk?" Xhemin nagged carefully assisting him toward the sofa. She was really surprised to see Darryl in a state like that for he had never seen him drunk that bad. She had him sat on the sofa and Darryl collapsed into it with an exhausted sigh. 

"Oh the wife is mad...but you are still pretty even when you're mad…" Darryl flashed his ever gorgeous smile and winked naughtily, "Don't worry I just had few drinks but I'm so alive," Ironically after that he started dozing off.

"Darryl let me just take this out from you first," Xhemin said and started unbuttoning his shirt. She remembered he had covered such clothing with his business suit earlier and it seemed like he left his suit somewhere. "You are so wet," She remarked referring to his shirt but it was obvious from its smell that it was soaked with his own sweat and a bit of alcohol that probably spilled on him.

"Darryl please…" Xhemin tried to dismiss his advances and pushed him away. She got up from his lap and started walking away. "I don't really want it,"

"Why don't you want it?" Darryl's voice was surprisingly clear as if he was not drunk at all, "Was it because I'm not your diamond prince?"

Hearing it halted Xhemin's steps and with confusion she turned to look at him. He was still slumped on the sofa, his face on the ceiling as if he there was something interesting in there.

"Darryl what are you even talking about? Are you even-"

"The diamond prince...would you rather have him as your husband?" When he asked, it was as if he was somewhere far, far too much for Xhemin to reach him. "Did you regret marrying me?"

Xhemin could not answer any of it. She wasn't prepared for Darryl's sentiments especially when she only prepared to sway his decision about giving her L'Empire and not to be asked with heartbreaking questions from someone drunk.

"Oh of course you do, you impliedly told me already a couple of times" He blabbered without giving her the chance to look into his eyes to see whether he meant all that he was saying, "And you killed my heart everytime but here it is... still fucking breathing only for you. Stupid fool,"

Xhemin cried silently with his confession. She just couldn't help her tears fall although she tried hard not to make a sound. She knew he was hurting, but hearing him say it loud was just to much of a torture. 

"When did you start unloving me?" Darryl's voice was slower this time as if he was thinking things through but his next words only confused Xhemin even more, ��No.. not that question. Don't answer that.I don't want to know...Let me ask something else...I want to know…"

"...Can you still love me back?" He went to look at her this time. His hazel eyes were desperate and his face wore the expression of someone pleading for his life, as if her answer was the only thing that he was clinging for.

Darryl's eyes stayed at hers for a while, then he looked away and let go of a deep sighed. "Of course you can't. You won't. For why would you even love a man who cannot give your deepest desires,"

Xhemin swallowed a cry and gathered some courage to comfort him, "Darryl things were just-"

"I can't give you a child...not anymore…" Darryl cut her off as if he hadn't heard her at all. "Isn't that what you desired the most? Our child? Our Winter...fucked!.. I cannot even give you another one...the hell with this life!"

Together with Darryl's sudden breakdown was the sound of the lampstand he threw out of frustration. The thing now lay on the floor, broke and bent like how Darryl's heart was.

"How would you ever love a man who cannot give you a child," He repeated as his last energy was spent. He was then sitting straight on the sofa, his two hands on his head hiding his face with his arms. He was crying in silence while his own hands bleed as he hurt himself by throwing the lamp off the floor.

Xhemin covered her mouth with her hand and swallowed all the hurt that was ultimately killing her. Seeing Darryl suffer like that was something she could not just bear. 

His words and tears melted all the pride and self control she had and even before her own rationality could stop her, she ran back to him and in successive motion she took his hand, sat on his lap and kissed him hard.