Chapter 115 - ONE HUNDRED FIFTEEN: Puzzle Pieces

By the time the following evening fell, Kel had received a thorough briefing of the resolution to the infiltration of Subterra.

Despite the complexity of her feelings regarding the situation, things had turned out rather simple.

The Subterrans had retreated, more or less, as soon as Kel disappeared from their sight. Soren had been caught trying to sneak away and was now locked up awaiting official punishment for his crimes (again).

The emperor's soldiers had set up a temporary solution to the massive hole in the middle of the road, and traffic was moving again. Many citizens were quite curious about the newfound people, however, and the newspapers were having a heyday with wild gossip. Due to the clamor, in addition to the new guard positions within Subterra, several positions had to be created to oversee the four entrances to Subterra as well.

Lucy had received treatment in the infirmary and was likely to heal perfectly from her wounds. Apparently, Thane, the ever loyal comrade, even requested leave so he could stay by her side while she recovered.

Her friends were safe, the Empire was eating up the excitement, and the Subterrans seemed to be doing just fine.

Kel was the only one struggling with the events of the past several days.

How could it all be resolved so easily? 

She never got the faceoff with Soren she'd desired. Barclay's death, and now Lila's too, haunted her, begging for vengeance. 

Surely, she'd have another chance to bring justice to the vile man. This time, without worrying about the hundreds of watchful eyes from the Subterrans.

The emperor would do that much for her, right?

She wouldn't make the same mistake next time she faced him. Instead of wasting her breath, she'd kill him immediately.

"You shouldn't frown like that, or I'll mistake you for Ira."

"Your Majesty," Kel flinched, glancing up to see the emperor standing at the foot of her bed.

She hadn't even noticed him come in.

"I'm told you're not taking your meals," the emperor remarked, slowly seating himself.

"With all due respect, Your Majesty," Kel retorted, scanning the dark circles under the man's eyes, "I think you should worry more about yourself."

".. Is that right?" the emperor shrugged.

Kel hadn't seen him at all since leaving Subterra. Looking over his clearly fatigued body, she suddenly felt a pang of guilt for spending the last twenty four hours quietly in her room. 

Not that there was anything she could do to help anyway.

"You know," the emperor continued, "I thought that seeing their leader die by your hand would be the best thing for those people."

"Ah.. right," Kel mumbled, awkwardly avoiding his gaze. "About that-"

"I may have been wrong," the emperor remarked.

"What? Oh, I heard they calmed down after I left," Kel replied, a hint of sourness lacing her tone. "Back to living the way they did before."

"They've backed down for now.. But I'm not so sure about going back to the way they were before."

Ah. He must be talking about the fact that they wouldn't have Soren around to use them for criminal purposes anymore. Kel supposed that, in and of itself, was a kind of success.

"They're curious about the surface now," the emperor went on, scooting closer to where Kel sat on the bed. "It's mainly the children, though."

"Really?" The tightness in Kel's chest loosened a little at the news. "They're leaving Subterra?"

"Not yet," the emperor chuckled at her sudden enthusiasm. 

"I see.." Kel replied, the smile disappearing from her lips.

With a sigh, the emperor reached out and placed a hand against her cheek.

"I didn't think it was possible to ever change those people's minds," he said, "but perhaps, beginning with the younger generation, they will evolve into something closer to humans."

"They already seemed pretty human to me," Kel teased.

"Maybe on the outside," the emperor answered solemnly.

Kel glanced up at his face. His eyes were aimed at her, but seemed to be looking at something far away. Perhaps memories of his past were flooding over him as he talked about the Subterrans.

Watching his unwavering scarlet trance, Kel somehow felt lonely. She wanted desperately to know what lay behind those eyes--if the memories flowing through his mind were happy or sad.

When she thought about it, she didn't know much about the Dragon Emperor aside from the few tidbits she'd been told by Soren and Lila. If she used their words as puzzle pieces, she still couldn't quite make out the whole image.

Maybe if she had hundreds or thousands more pieces, she might be able to begin to understand the emperor.

"That man, the leader," the emperor suddenly spoke, returning from his short visit to some distant past. "Perhaps I won't kill him after all."

"Alright," Kel nodded, still lost in thoughts of her own. "Wait, you won't kill him?!"

She felt a sharp pain in the pit of her stomach. If Soren wasn't going to die, then how could she ever make things right? Barclay, Lila, and countless nameless others.. would they never be able to rest in peace?

"It's certain he's been abandoned by his people," the emperor explained. "I can't think of a better punishment than living as an outcast among the very people you were born to."

Kel flinched at his words. It almost sounded like he was talking about her. Or, perhaps, was he talking about himself? Soren had mentioned that the emperor was unwelcome in Subterra from the time he was born. Was this the emperor's own sort of revenge against his half brother?

"But aren't you worried that he may keep causing trouble?" Kel asked, turning away from the emperor's dark expression.

"He has nobody now," the emperor scoffed. "He's been thrown away by both his allies and enemies. He has neither family nor friends."

He paused for a moment before adding, "isn't living that way much worse than death?"

A shiver ran down Kel's spine. Why did it seem like he was asking her directly?

It was true she'd been in a similar situation, but over the past few months, she'd started to feel like she did have allies again--like the emperor was her ally. He even confessed his feelings for her, so how could she be mistaken?

Except.. he'd confessed those feelings for Adriell. Had he discovered the truth? And was a simple difference in name so important to him? 

No. Kel was the one he'd spent time with. Kel was the one he'd held in his arms and kissed more than once.

"I loathe most those who covet a position they don't deserve," the emperor spoke again, his voice full of irritation. "Filth will always be filth no matter how it disguises itself."

His hand, which had slid down Kel's cheek and now rested on her shoulder, tightened threateningly.

Calm down, Kel told herself. He's still talking about Soren.

It was all about Soren. It was Soren that he hated.

It must be guilt, she reasoned. All I need to do is tell him the truth, and everything will be fine.

Just tell him the truth..

"I heard Lucy is doing well," Kel brought up, abruptly navigating to a different topic.

"Mm," the emperor agreed. "She's strong."

Kel clutched her sweating hands together in her lap. After she calmed down a bit, she'd tell him for sure.

I am Keliyah! She shouted internally. I'm not ashamed, and I'm not scared. I just.. need a little more time.

"Is it because you won't be able to kill that man after all?" The emperor's suddenly gentle fingers found their way back to her cheek. "Is that why you're upset?"

"A little," Kel murmured.

It wasn't necessarily a lie.

"It's because you always carry everything yourself," the emperor sighed, softly tucking her hair behind her ear. "Do you feel guilty about your friend?"

"I-" Kel nearly snapped in defense before pausing to consider his words. 

Was the unpleasant feeling at the thought of Barclay and Lila's deaths left unresolved really just guilt?

"I guess so," she conceded.

"But it's not your fault." The fingers caressing her hair moved to grip her chin tightly, turning her face back toward the emperor.

"It's not your fault," he repeated. "Your friend wouldn't want you to carry such a heavy burden around on his behalf."

"Yeah.." Kel's lips trembled as she replied, and a tear escaped from her burning eyes. 

Was it from the guilt of her friends' deaths? Or the constant fear of being unmasked finally crushing her now that the time to tell the truth had come?

"Nng!" Kel shuddered as she felt the emperor's lips brush against her cheekbone, taking the stray tear with them.

The man pulled back, his eyes locked with hers.

Even without words, his fiery gaze told her exactly what was going to happen next.