Chapter 117 - Oasis

She could feel the warmth of Lim Yi Sheng's hand transferring to her. Not only to her hand but even her heart could feel this warmness that she never thought existed. It's different from the way An Qi Lu comforts her.

"Every decision I made, I always think I've done it for a reason. That time I did ran away, I ran away from everything that was the ole reason I escaped and I know it was selfish of me. All this time I always try to justify those actions as something I've done for them but clearly I was wrong."

She wanted to laugh at herself for being such a hypocrite to think like that, justifying her selfishness with as if hat she had done is a rightful action. This thing is only done by cowards like her.

When she left Xi Corporation she said that she will act normal, but Lim Yi Sheng could still see.

She went here today intending to just fulfill the lunch she had promised but the moment she saw Lim Yi Sheng her resolve easily crumbled and she felt like she just wanted to talk to him about it and just like that the words flowed out of her mouth.

From the moment she had started opening up to him few weeks ago, talking has become easier than they usually are for her. Little by little she was able to share the things that she had never told anyone before and of course she hopes that she will be able to tell him about everything in the future.

"Did Xi Chen blame you for it?"

"No. I know he won't, it's just like him."

"It's not his intention to make you think about more than you have to be, he only wanted to make you understand what he's feeling and the reason behind his outbursts."

Xi Chen also mentioned somehow that she had a conversation with Lim Yi Sheng last night and she could tell that it is most likely the same contents as this just maybe not the whole thing.

"I know that but I can't help but blame myself for everything that happened."

If she want she could actually say that Xi Chen passed out because of crying and it ha nothing to do with her but isn't that same as running away again because first of all the reason the small Xi Chen cried was because her sister is missing and that made her the root cause of everything.

"It's gonna be pointless even if I told you that not to blame yourself right because that's your personality and I understand that. But always remember, who has never ran away anyway? At some point in time people ran away and sometimes they do it unconsciously like diverting their attention to something else."

That could be true, people are like snail once they've felt the danger they hide inside their shell as a reflex.

"This might be what people always but I'll say it anyway. What happened was all in the past now and the fact that you can't change it remains no matter what we do, you can't do anything to make that incident as if it did not happen at all but what you have the control over is your present."

These things might be very obvious but no one has ever said these words to her before and somehow it feels good. Though its not like her friends always support her decisions about dealing with the things that happened past it's just that they don't have the heart to say it to her because they are very much aware of everything that happened to her.

That fact could make a huge difference. Furthermore, there is a certain factor in her past that she can't reconcile with.

Lim Yi Sheng's existence in her life is something could not be be shaken off anymore. She could consider him as her oasis.

"I'm not saying you have to forget the fact that in happened, it is also completely alright to check if there are things that there are more things that happened that time. If you think you can't leave it at that that you can start from there."

Those words shows that somehow at some point Lim Yi Sheng has already grasp her personality not because she grew up with him but because he is indeed paying attention.

"You're saying this because you knew I would check on it, right?"

"Well, you aren't Xi Ana for a show. If you don't then you're not living up to your reputation."

This made her chuckled and even the depressed atmosphere lightened with it.

"Lim Yi Sheng, aren't you bothered that there are still a lot of things that you don't know about me?"

"Of course, I am but I can't be too greedy right? What if I scare you away by forcing you to speak then you suddenly left me, I'd rather wait than to risk the possibility of that."

He's being too considerate of her again.

Suddenly, Lim Yi Sheng wrapped his both arms on her shoulder and hugged her rather tightly.

"It's not only Xi Chen who's afraid that you will suddenly disappear. If I wake up one day and I can't seem to find you I don't know what will I do, so please if something happened that you need to be gone for a log time, can you promise to tell me beforehand so that I could prepare myself.?"

He said those words almost as if he's pleading with her and it breaks her heart to see him like this.

Several months ago, she was firm with every decisions she had made. The fact that she was planning to leave to devote her time from finding her mother's murderer has always been something that cannot be changed and the fact that she's wavering now means that loving Lim Yi Sheng really did change her and it's already showing.

"I promise."