Chapter 98 - Feeling So Lost

Megan's POV

"Are you sure about this, Megan?" Alice asked me, and I nodded my head as I tried to compose myself, and even if I was having the hardest time of my life.

"Well, I have been telling you that we should go to Astikoz hills and see your boyfriend, but you were so sure of yourself that you didn't want to go. And now I wonder what made you decide to see Ashton, and I can tell you looked so bad, Meg." Alice added as she looked at me sideways.

"I will tell you everything after I see Ashton, Alice," I said as I tried to control myself.

"Do you know I am hurt? You used to tell me everything first, but ever since Ashton came into your life, everything changed, but I understand because I know you became so in love with your boyfriend." Alice declared, and I could feel the bitterness in her voice.

"Ex-boyfriend," I said in a stern voice, and I heard my best friend chuckle, and I could tell she was mocking me.

"Why are you like that, Al?" I asked Alice, and she was shaking her head.

"It means nothing, Meg, I know you can't break up with Ashton, and as of the moment, I can tell you were only hurting because he suddenly stopped communicating with you, and I could tell you were hoping for the best. You didn't break up, so technically, you are still his girlfriend, Meg." My best friend said.

"Yeah, but I am not that foolish enough not to understand what he wanted, Al; how can you tell me he is still my boyfriend when I don't even know where he is right now? I don't need to be a genius to comprehend what he tells me through his silence. He wanted me out of his life, and I am only doing this because I don't want him to blame me in the future. I need to talk with him whatever it takes." I replied, and I could tell Alice was confused.

"You don't need to see him, Meg. Just text him." Alice said after a while.

"You will know everything later of why do I need to talk with him, Alice. You have been bugging me to see Ashton, and now that I wanted to go to Ashton's house, you tell me I can text him; you are too confusing. And this is not the best time to tell me that because I need your moral support." I said, and she released a heavy sigh.

"Meg, you know that you will always have my full support. I am just curious why you suddenly want to see him now after so many days that he kept silent as if you don't exist." Alice said, and I can feel the pain again, which I tried to hide for so many days, and now I can feel the piercing in my heart.

"Yeah, you are right, Al, I don't want to talk with him, but I can't deny I can't forget him no matter what I do, and I couldn't accept that he had forgotten me that easily, I told Ashton for how many times I will understand if he will follow his father's order, but now that it is happening I am in denial. He promised me that he would fight for our love no matter what, but now I can say Ashton was a liar and a coward." I said, and Alice remained silent, and I knew it was her way of telling me to continue to talk.

"How could he give up on me that easily, Al?" I asked as I tried to fight the tears that welled up in my eyes.

"I can't answer you that, but I am sure he has some reasons why he was doing all this, but I hate him still for hurting you, Meg. I have never seen you this lonely and miserable, and I want to see your sweet smile again, and l hope you will let go of the pain that you feel." Alice responded.

"I can't allow myself to cry because I still need to know why he was doing all this to me," I responded.

"Yeah, but you already know his reasons, Meg. It was because of his father. You don't need to stress about it, and maybe he realized going pro in football is more important than you." She replied.

"Ouch, that hurts, Alice," I said, and I couldn't hide the pain that I felt.

"The reality will always hurt us, Al. But you don't need to worry because I know everything will be alright once you see Ashton. I am sure he can't resist the moment he will see your lovely face, Meg, I am sure of that." She answered, and I half laughed.

"Beautiful women will surround Ashton the moment they will learn what we have was over, and he could forget my face if he wanted to do it right away. And I am sure Ashton is already enjoying himself right now, and I am no longer on his mind. He injured my innocent heart, but I don't have a choice but to accept the reality even if it hurts." I said, and I looked at the road, and I was hoping Alice was right, 

The moment Alice drove uphill, and we took the street going to the Pritzgold residence, I couldn't stop the pounding of my heart. I don't know what will happen today, but I was hoping I could see Ashton. But as expected, the guard didn't let us in.

"Please, sir, I just wanted to talk with Ashton, or if I can talk with Lennon or Cole. Please, if you won't let us in, can you at least tell the Priztgold brothers that I am here?" I asked and begged the guards, but they didn't allow us to stay in front of the gate even for a while. They drove us away.

"Miss, if you don't leave now, we are going to call the police. Mr . Gregory Pritzgold, even Ashton informed un never to let you in." He said, and it felt like a big slap on my face. I would accept if it were Ashton's father's request, but knowing even Ashton doesn't want to see me made me want to scream and cry, but I tried to hold back my tears as I got back on Alice's car; actually, it was her dad's vehicle.

"We better leave now, Al," I said, and I could feel the pain in my heart, but I didn't allow myself to cry. My limbs were shaking with anger, and I wanted Alice to think that I was tough, and I wanted to believe that I was strong. However, at this moment, I know I felt so weak, but at least I can still hide the pain by pretending I am fine, and nothing is wrong with Ashton and me, and I know I should never come, at least I won't learn that Ashton doesn't want to see me anymore.

"Let us go, Alice," I said, and when I looked at my friend, she was the one crying for me.

"Hey, don't cry," I said.

"I will not cry if you will release all your pain, Meg, but my heart aches knowing you were hurting, and you were trying to hide your anguish by faking your smile. Please, you need to cry, Meg." She said.

"Alice, I am fine. We need to go, and you better stop yourself from crying. I am not faking my smile, and I realized there are still reasons to smile, like having you right now when I felt so down and lonely." I said.

"That is bullshit, Megan," Alice said, and I fell silent.

"What are you doing, Alice?" I asked her when instead of going straight, she maneuvered her car going to Zachary's house.

"We don't come all the way here to Astikoz for nothing, and I don't want you to go home without talking with Ashton." She said.

"Al, we need to go now. I don't want to talk with him anymore." I said in a stern voice.

"He was the one who disturbed your once peaceful life, and know that your life is in shambles, he will hide like a coward? I can't allow Ashton to hurt you this way without explanation, Megan. You were his girlfriend, and you have all the right to know what is going on with your relationship." Alice said, and she was talking to me louder than necessary, and I could tell Alice was pissed with Ashton, and there was no way I could stop her from seeing Zach.

The guard informed Zachary that we were looking for him, and it felt like an eternity as we waited for Zach's reply. I felt so happy and disappointed at the same time when the guard opened the gate wide, and the moment Alice parked her car, I didn't move right away until she opened the car for me and she pulled me up.

"Get a grip, Megan, Ashton hurt you, and you have all the right to know what is going on, and besides, Zachary is his best friend, and I know Zach was crashing on you for a long time now, and I am sure he will help us," Alice said with confidence.

"Zachary is Ashton's best friend, and there is no doubt his loyalty will always be with Ashton, and that is the reason why he didn't reply to my text messages, nor answer my calls, Alice." I declared.

"We will know the answer later, Meg, but right now, we need to see Zach," Alice said as she dragged me, and we walked straight towards the main door of Zach's house while I felt so worried if Zach would refuse to help us.. I know at this very moment I was feeling so lost, And I never felt so hurt and so defeated my entire life.