Chapter 281: A Heroic Resolve

Amadan, no, at the moment he was Nolan Salvatore, with his heart staying brave, no matter what the ghosts of the past were saying. Lord, they were loud, so loud that he couldn’t even hear the raging wind and the rain happening in the middle of the desert. They were not that far from the city, and it was a vantage point where they could be alone, just the two of them, no lies, no running away, just the two of them sitting in one place.

The rain fell hard.

“Is this your work?”

“No, this is her work. I think you should know who am I, Nolan.”

“Which Ciara are you?”

“The one you love, heh, do you still even love me for what she did?”

“What do you mean?”

“I was the one who let a single man spear thirty-years of waiting, the woman abandoned her children. Nolan, when that child died, I was willing to die. I was willing to die for the mistake I made. I should have not done it. No, I should never have thought of it. I wish I had loved your earlier than I should,” she smiled.

“You, are you her?”

“I can ask the same thing. Nolan, who are you?”

Nolan smiled bitterly, “I am just a fragment, the main fragment, and he had escaped this world.”

Her eyes grew wide-open, then she squeezed her eyes closes, and clenched her hands. Her face crumpled, and a bitter smile was decorated on her lovely face.

“I see, but I guess we are all fragments, aren’t we?”

“That we are,” he said. “I had to be true to you, no matter what, I want no lies anymore, I ran away from you, and here we are meeting again. I don’t the War Maiden of Space and Time can detect us, and we had freed ourselves from her; but Ciara, I want to know, no more running away, no more lies, and no turning our heads away. I, do you love me.”

“Madly,” she nodded softly. “I do, I always do, and the thought of what the other me had done to you, it pains me, and destroys me inside. I had made your life worse, I was too stubborn to believe that someone like me could ever have one. You, you were my greatest surprise, my happiness, and my light. But how can I live, knowing what I did? Heh, even she had fallen for you, and you had two children, and those children now suffer the fate of being fuel for this damned world. I had walked abysses, just to see you, and out of that abyss, I saw that you were long gone, I had taken my life, hoping, praying, that I could see you again. I dreamt of it, a happy life, and yet that time never came didn’t it? We were so busy fighting that we didn’t know at all,” she said, with such melancholic face. “I wanted you, and I was happy, just to see you, and yet how many years had you suffered. You ran away, and I know that this relationship isn’t something to be applauded. Tell me, how can I dare to show my face, knowing that I had done this to you?”

“Tell me, Ciara,” he said. “What’s the best time of the day?”

“Definitely dawn,” she smiled saying.

“I know you’ll say that! I am happy that you say that. Haha, is that you, in a new body? Really, why do we keep meeting in such odd ways, Ciara?”

“I don’t know, I think fate plays us, but I wouldn’t say so otherwise. Really, why does this happen to us? We were trying to save the world! And now we are trap in this time. I shall confess to you, Ciara. I am not of this world, I am not out of this world and I never was!”

“You weren’t in the akashic records, so I was suspecting it. Is that true?”

“It is!” Nolan said. “I am from a world where peace was so lovely! A world where you do not worry about such things. You are free to love and become what you want as long as you strive for it! When I came to this world it was like people never felt peace! Did I ever tell you how I fell for you? How it was so odd for you to think that I would fall in love with you? There were days that I wanted to give you up, but then I saw you standing in that field and damn me if I let you go. Heh, damn it, how the fuck do I escape from you?”

She moved closer and planted her face on Nolan’s shoulder. “If this is you, then, please, just stay with me, do not move, and just let me have you by my side. I have dreamt of this for so long, that if I let you go now, I would lose myself. You sinner, how could you make me fall for you so hard?”

“I had done my best.”

“Yes, you did. If you didn’t persist so hard, who would love such an obsessive bastard? How could a man not try if he truly loves a woman? I wanted you, but it was hard, the days were dark, and my duties presided you. I won’t lie, I had duty over love, and it was only when I saw with someone that my stubborn heart gave up, I wanted you before my life ends. It just saddens me that we never really had the chance to be always together. I am jealous that she had spent so many years with you. I ask, can I even be with you, in this world that the other me is trying to destroy?”

Nolan grew silent, he lowered his head and gathered rainwater on his palm. When the rainwater overflowed, he threw it on Ciara, her sorrowful face grew confused. Then, she just smiled, and planted her head on his shoulder, she seems like she did not care, and just went with that she desired.

“I was sure that I want you gone in my life.”

“Then why are you here.”

“Because I think it is you. Damn me, if this is an illusion then it’s the same thing. It’s always the same thing, we keep meeting and separating, that I sometimes ask if we don’t matter at all. No matter, let’s just stay here, no lies, no running away, no misunderstandings, just the two of us, and if you are true, then after so long we finally met again. How many hours in such eternity did it take, Ciara?”

“I don’t know,” she said, that bitter smile plastered forevermore. “What am I supposed to say that has not been said? We know how this usually ends, Nolan.”

“I do. We meet, something happens, and we are separated until we meet again. We fight, we brawl, and we hurt each other. I think this is the first time we have met again that didn’t start with a fight. We are too old for that, no, we are simply tired. We deserve better, you had saved the world, and I did the best that I could in that world. How are we so lucky to be in this world? I know that it is you, I know because the ghost of the past keeps shouting at me.”

Nolan listened to the voices. They were screaming murder, the rest were terrified, and while he heard sobbing. The ghosts were the fragments of those who had suffered under the Burnt Woman. He pushed all their voices.

“I can feel the pain in your eyes,” she said. “The Bleak Walkers curse never leaves you, and I cannot imagine living with such a curse. Nolan, how can you stand this?”

“I don’t know myself, I just continue no matter what. That’s what I do and what I have always done to myself.”

She sat closer, not caring that her clothes were mudded. They were sitting on a log rolled in the dunes, and the changes in the weather had made rainfall for quite a while.

Her arms were wrapped around his waist. He drew her close and laid his head on her head. He looked at the city of the sands, covered in mist, and lights. Her wet hair was around his shoulder, and the smell of her hair was something.

“How does it feel, having a new body?”

“I think we look the same. Aren’t you lucky, to have a goddess love you?”

“Oh, cocky are we?”

“I say that I can be. Do you not believe it?”

“No, I think you are. You are looking at an idiot who had a love for a woman with a burn scar. I had never felled for because of your beauty, power, or reputation. You should know this best, Cia.”

“I know, Nol.”

“When I swear forevermore to you, the moon was up, and I hear that the pale shine keeps us soul-bound and that one day even if we forget, we will always be together. I thought that it was such a strange belief, but then now, I think I wholeheartedly believe that the ritual will work. No matter what I do, I would meet you again, no matter what time and space it is, we will always meet. That’s our curse, Nol. Forgive me, and we are forever destined to meet in such strange ways. But I can give you this choice, Nol. I can have my soul destroyed right here, and right now. I will allow you to be free, this meeting, it is a blessing to me, and the wish that I had when I left that abyss has been fulfilled.”

“You know my answer, Cia.”

“That’s why I want you to think again.”

“No,” Nolan said firmly. “I’ve tried and failed again and again and again. I have enough of trying to kill the person that I love. An eternity of doing it, you’ll get tired of it. That’s why let’s just talk. I understand that you are going to save them as well?”

“Find the kids, yes, they are still hers, and I cannot stand it when I see children being used like this. One time is enough, and I will never do such a thing again. Never, I will not allow it.”

“Your sister,” he asked. “Is she with you now?”

“She is,” Ciara rubbed her head on his chest. “I think your blood sister took a liking to her, and Ari is a sweet sister, and I think she took a hint. Your blood-sister, I think she was to bed her.”

“Sula, she’s quite weird, she was gunning for me, you know?”

“Is that so?” she jabbed on Nolan’s rib. “I’m surprised that you resisted such a beautiful woman, I wouldn’t care, and you deserved it.”

“Please, how many times have things gone wrong for those noblewomen who tried to court me? I was surprised that this mug could get women to like.”

Her eyes were opened widely.

“Are you serious? When you got older, you aged like wine, you were a fine man who had seen battles. You were well-built and our affairs were spread that some thought of you as an ideal knight. There was a knight who wanted you, and I said it right to her face “No,” which scared the wits out of her.”

“I think if the War Maiden says that to my face, I would be afraid as well.”

“True, still, I grew selfish. Even if you are a fragment, you are still him. And I am well, yours, that’s just how it is. Unless you want to destroy me and be freed? We are soul-bound and I asked you once. I won’t take it back now.”

“It’s getting cold,” Nolan said.

“I can warm you,” she sang a song of the sun. “It’s rather warm now isn’t it?”

“In this life, you are the maiden of songs, isn’t that nice?”

“It is,” she said, a smile finally on her face. “I’ve always wanted to sing without care.”

“It suits you, Cia. Do not worry. It’s cold, come closer, okay.”

She stuck her body closer, not giving a damn about her wet clothes. She then turned her thoughts to the past.

“Nol,” she said. “I shall confide to you. I think...you followed me not because you loved me. You see, War Maidens, they have the abilities to charm any person, and I believe that you fell for me, because of that, and the illusion you feared is true.”

“I suspected it.”

She widened her eyes, “Then, let me a sing a song of dispel.”

And so she sang the song of dispelling. The rains could not stop the melody of her voice. The notes manifested physically and wrapped around Nolan, and Ciara took a step away, her hands on her heart, with an expression not benefitting that of the fearless war maiden that she was.

“How do you feel?”

“Like a chain was lifted from me.”

She turned her head away. “I see, then, what do you think?”

“That nothing changed,” he said firmly. “It must have been ingrained within me. It has been countless years and I think that even I was charmed, the effect is now indefinite. Well, it’s not so bad really, when I have someone like you. I am foolish. I should be mad, but you know that? I just let go. Call me foolish, but I just let go of it all.”

“You’re lying to yourself.”

“Maybe, I am. Or is this your way to let go as well?”

“No,” she said. “I’ve lived my life as best as I could. Knowing only one single purpose, to save the world, and bring back the sunlight. I toiled the roads, fought for others, and became the light alongside the heroes of the world. It was my duty, and beyond that, it was my dearest wish. I wish for humanity to live not in the shadows, but under the sun. Nol, you have been the hand that has been holding me when I thought I’d fall. That’s why I never faltered until the monster of the pale pass happened. I admit that when I lost our child, I had told myself a sinner, a fool who had done something. I don’t know what I was thinking, and that sin I will carry for my life. But when the old monster of the pale pass wanted you dead. I couldn’t prioritize duty, I had to save you even it means falling. I didn’t fall and I walked the abyss, seeing memories of another me. I was afraid, but in the end, I choose to continue forward. Nol, I died on the day I saw your grave. Maybe, the gods had mercy, and I am alive again.”

Her eyes narrowed, she was filled with determination that he had seen for so many times. The look that Nolan Salvatore could never forget, the eyes of the hero, the savior of that world. The look of the woman who had toiled to save the world from darkness. Behind her, was the hole in the clouds, the light came out of the hole and her hair glistened. She was filled with a terrible resolve.

“Nolan, I want to save this world.”

Nolan looked at her with a smile. Yes, this was the Ciara he knew, the War Maiden, no, the Hero that he always admired. She was the Ciara Alician he knew and loved.