Chapter 76 - Senseless - Part【3】

The main door was always fully open and wolves could discern them from the outside. In a way he still followed what he once trained me, to not close doors with another male but him.

Taking slow steps I walk alone back home a sudden sense of loneliness filling me up for I know he shall not be back for dinner he would remain beside Moira until he is satisfied that she is all right and would surely check on Argus on the way back. He might not even return for the night I might need to sleep alone in my freezing room.

He is simply doing his duty as her Alpha I know yet I do not understand myself. These sickening feelings surging within me I wish to burn them for I am not this kind of a female.

A wolf is suffering and all I can think of is why my male is kind to her and not me? I am such a shallow female sometimes. This is Phobos he is not the same as he once was, not a sweet playful juvenile who held an intimate bond with only me but a full-grown Alpha male accountable for the lives of numerous wolves and I must make peace with it in time. Over the years without me by his side, he has formed unbreakable connections with the souls here some who have even saved him like Moira.

He is different he has changed but I still seem to remain as I once was stuck in the past unable to move forward and understand him as he is now. I am unable to welcome his wolves as mine and find his friendship with Moira as something decent.

"Here is your dinner Momo," I murmur dropping some fresh fruit into his bowl as he leaps forward viewing what I have offered.

There is a weight in my heart a need to snuggle under my covers and seek refuge in my room that pokes at me. Opening the door to the washroom peeling away my winter attire I stand beneath the lukewarm shower scrubbing my flesh off the sweat and my hair off the soil and grime from today's training. My hair has gotten longer now reaching right above my bum I must begin braiding it I suppose.

Moira and Phobos I am sick of thinking about them and the true relationship they hold. I am exhausted from feeling this way. It isn't to do with them anymore for my male had maintained his distance and never entered her hut or ate her food since that day he saved me from death's claws. He understood my insecurities and listened to my wishes.

It is now to do with my immaturity and childish jealousy I must learn to be mature about the situation and see it from a new perspective. If Moira is important to this male then I must make her one of my wolves and become close with her as well. She has never done anything to break my trust in her and I need to understa-

My eyes widen as I blink the blurriness away my tears sliding down my cheek a dull sob leaving my lips. I clamp my palm over my mouth surprised at the response of my body to the turmoil of my heart. What...what is wrong with me? Why am I being this way?

Closing my eyes all I can recollect is the way he stroked her thigh the way he slid her skirt upward to uncover her flesh to his eyes. I wonder if he liked what he saw? He has regarded her naked breasts bouncing from beneath lace so her thigh is nothing big, is it? I hug my body coiling my arms around my flesh weeping as the gushing water hides my cries, their relationship makes me feel so insecure to the point I grapple to breathe.

"Stupid male. You are so very stupid Phobos." I whimper blanketing my eyes with my palms low upset whines departing my lips. I need to let this go I d-do not wish to cause tension between us anymore I just want to be...happy with my male. I will look past his ways and the traditions of his pack. I shall stop comparing them with my own morals and learn to accept them. I need to cease hanging on to what could be between us and start accepting what is.

Entering the heat of my room wearing merely a towel that clamps around my being like a second skin I warm up some myrrh oil in between my palms. Vůdce had presented it to me for I had complained how chilly I felt here and I needed something for my skin to keep me heated during the nights so I began doing so every evening before going to bed from a few days ago.

Sauntering towards the chair in my room taking the small glass bottle with me I perch upon it crossing my legs I begin applying the first coat. The door to my room is pushed open and I instantly stiffen my orbs snapping to the entrance only to find my male standing in his casual clothes set for the night. When did he even come into the cabin I did not hear him?

"I did not expect you to return tonight," I speak as he coolly trudges forward to take a seat at the edge of my mattress the bed moaning to his weight. He shifts his being rearward collapsing onto the bed a sleepy grunt crossing his mouth followed by a faint sigh.

"Why was your door closed Theia?" He seeks his eyes narrowed as he observes the way I react to his question. My door is often shut and sometimes locked only when I am upset with him and he knows this.

"I just arrived from the bathroom I merely wanted to preserve whatever heat my room held within. And Moira, how is she?" I ask softly genuine concern igniting within. He recognises my swift change of topic but he does not pry further.

"She is healing, Vůdce gave her something to sleep but Argus is still shaken up."

"It will take some time for him to calm," I reply discerning the way my skin is polished with the oil gleaming beneath the room light. He elevates his head holding the weight of his body on his elbows the flame of his burning orbs makes a tortuously deliberate trail of heat upward from my uncovered ankles to my thighs. He has commenced his feasting I can feel it down to my bones.

"Thank you for comforting him I appreciate it."

"I am his Luna Phobos, it is my obligation."

There is a tension-filled silence that follows my words and a question he asks in return. "Do you know who else's Luna you are?"

"Whose?"

"Mine." His feverish dilated blues collide with mine the sinful meaning hidden behind those words come into the light. I hurriedly look away swallowing nervously massaging the oil onto my trembling limbs that naturally react to his wicked gaze.

Finishing up I head towards the window to fold my recently washed clothes that have dried wanting to store them in the cupboard. My wet feet and hair leave their prints on the wooden floor creating a spell of a kind that sensually beckons my male to me.

My ears perk up to the racket of him rising from my bed yet he wanders to me as a ghost with agile but silent steps. Ardent fingertips skim lazily upward from my slender wrists to my shoulders appreciating the feel of my being. I shudder at his impure touch that births butterflies in the abyss of my belly. He sets me aflame.

Lips press against the side of my neck and I heave my body involuntarily shifting further into his desire. "What is this on your flesh?" He questions his voice goddess can bring a female to her knees begging to be devoured by the beast, so sonorous and so very erotically gruff.

"It is myrrh oil to keep me warm during the cold nights."

"You do not need this Theia."

"W-Why?"