Chapter 4 - Determination and Commitment.

Author: 長月 Nagatsuki 

TN:Mamuni

What does Mizuki think of me? When I think about her and feel those butterflies, I can’t help but worry about how she thinks of me.

It doesn’t mean I don’t trust her kindness, I actually think she is too sweet. But what does she want in the future? Dating on the premise of marriage, with the momentum of love at first sight, and our honeymoon feelings should calm down soon, I think it’s been a different time now. So even though it’s been more than three months since we began dating, I think I’m still trying to move on from the playful kisses.

Because of that anxiety, our relationship has become stagnant.

Immediately after I met her I felt something. Mizuki might have liked me more then, but now I feel that my feelings are uncontrollably growing . 

If I had any free time I would check if there were any messages from Mizuki, if not, then I’d feel terrible. I’m afraid of being too clingy, so I don’t contact her often. I want to feel her more, but I’m afraid of being rejected, so I limit the amount I touch her. I love her, but I try to limit it because I’m afraid.

This wasn’t like me, That’s why it’s so confusing. 

It was the phone call with Hazama-san that helped me. At the end of that call I fully organized my feelings.

So let’s talk properly after the weekend concert date. There I will properly convey my feelings.

“Ahh, I’m so nervous! It feels like I’m a teenager in love again. My heart is racing.”

At that time I was unfamiliar with love, and everything was a huge event. I’m not a woman with a lot of love experience, but I made a huge mistake thinking I’ve experienced it all with my ex-boyfriends. 

No matter how old you are, serious love will always be an important affair.

The day of the date we finally met. 

The two of us wore the band T-Shirts, lifted our arms while getting sweaty and enjoying the live concert along with the crowd. It was the best performance they’ve done, and they even played my favorite song in the encore, so I left my spot with spirits raised to the heavens.

“It was awesome. . .”

“Truly.”

Mizuki nodded and muttered “best” several times.

It was just the two of us, and we were going to talk about the highlights of the concert. But it was too much. The concert was so hype that both of us lost our voices. Geeze, we are both Otakus.

As we walked side by side and digested the concert, a group of three, 1 man and 2 women looked towards us in the hectic lobby- – -Mizuki noticed and waved her hand to them.

“Good evening. Oh, are you guys friends?”

“Good evening, nice to meet you.”

Although the word friend struck me the wrong way, I couldn’t suddenly burst out saying she is my girlfriend. Seeing as they called out to Mizuki as an acquaintance, I simply smiled and greeted them.

I wonder what kind of relationship they have? 

It doesn’t seem like there was a particular planned meeting, but she called out to her like it was a normal coincidence to see her.

“After this we were planning on going out to drink, how about you two?”

“No, we are going home for today.”

“Oh is that so, what a shame.”

The exhilaration of the concert quickly cooled down. I’m just crashing into Mizuki’s social life. I don’t like being considered my girlfriend’s friend, and I don’t like that the man who is actively talking seems to be interested in Mizuki. I get it, If I were a man, I’d also want to be her lover.

It was such a fun night, why did this have to happen?

“By the way, did you meet that person? Mizuki-san, you are always looking out for them.”

“Who are you looking for?”

When I asked her, her face cramped up and her eyes darted around. It’s an easy to understand habit. She doesn’t make eye contact when she is in trouble or has a problem finding her words. So she probably didn’t want me to know about this person.

“That person you are interested in often comes to concerts, you used to always look around the lobby for them.”

“Seeing how much you care, I wish you’d be interested in me.”

“So how handsome is he? We want to see, but you never tell us anything.”

I don’t want to hear this.

Mizuki is a 28 year old woman, and she would have obviously loved somebody and have dated others.

We are in the same boat, and I have no intention of blaming her, but my heart is curdling.

Somewhere in this lounge was somebody Mizuki liked, somebody I was kept in the dark about.

“I’m sorry. I’ll leave first.”

I ignored the objection and ran to the exit. I heard her calling for me, but I want to leave here as soon as possible. If we stayed together like this, that special person may pass by and she may be entranced by them. I definitely don’t want to see that.

What should I do? It was my favorite venue, but I can’t come here anymore.

Run, run, push through the crowd. I ran to the point where my lack of exercise finally stopped me. I was already sweating, but after this I was drenched. It looked like I was in the shower with clothes on.

Whipping the sweat off my face with the band’s merch towel, tears began to spill out.

Ah this is the worst. Mizuki isn’t in the wrong, but I got so jealous and ran away, now I’m here just crying alone. What the hell am I doing? How more annoying could I be?

I started to walk further from the venue, wiping my tears, trying to think of my apology for later, when suddenly wet hands grabbed my arm. A strange voice came out from a strained throat. I turned around to see Mizuki who was breathing heavily on my shoulder as she desperately tried to stay standing.

“Hahhh, Haahh. . .S-Sorry, Cough*. . .One second. . .”

I feel sorry and happy for seeing her as sweaty as I was. I feel terrible for making her run to the point of being tired, yet still happy that she chased after me.

She didn’t have to. It wasn’t my intention. Still, I couldn’t help but feel warm seeing how desperate she was.

“I’m sorry, I ran away.”

I apologized as I whipped the sweat from her forehead with my towel, yet what met me was a relieved smile. Is it okay for me to be with such a nice person? I’m so troublesome. She should be with a more wonderful person, male or female.

“Let’s get out of here for the time being. Then talk.”

“Yeah, but we have to change clothes as soon as possible. It’s a bit too much for us to be entering a store or getting on a train. . .”

“Ah, that’s true. . . Then how about that?”

She pointed to a business hotel in front of the station. Ah yeah, that should be perfect. We could talk over there without worrying about eyes on us, plus we could clean ourselves.

Perhaps she had the same imagination as I did, I might have telled if I hadn’t had to blush and look away from her face.

No, the reason Mizuki proposed a business hotel is probably for the business, but at the same time, I can’t help but feel shy about the possibility for the latter.

This person is too cute.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

I don’t know what will happen, but this is definitely the best choice. Despite it being summer, if we stay outside drenched in sweat at night we will most likely catch a cold. And us talking on the roadside with people coming back from the concert looking at us will be very weird. I just want to be alone and talk properly.

We awkwardly checked in and went to our room. After washing away our sweat first, we sat on the semi-double bed. I didn’t have any ulterior motives, just wanted to get out of that disgusting sweaty state. But here we were, 2 people wearing hotel bathrobes, sitting on a bed.

A strange nervousness came.

I’ve never seen Mizuki without makeup. This is the first time, although she is older, she has much cleaner skin than me. With her skin slightly lit after taking a hot shower, it amplified her sexiness. I know it’s not the time, but this is just unfair~

Regardless, what we have to do now is talk. I must have restraint.

“Um, I have a lot of things to talk about, so can you listen to me? I may not be good at getting this across, but. . .”

“Yeah, talk away.”

“Thanks. Um, I, Love Mizuki. I love you so much that I have to hold myself back a lot.”

“T-Thanks. . .”

After giving eachother eye contact, looking closely and spewing my emotions. It’s cute to see her ears gradually turn red.

“At first I was confused because you were a girl, but I’m no longer confused. I can’t think of a future without you. I want you to stay with me forever. . .”

“–  Aki, that’s. . .”

With her eyes only on me, I touched her hand, and said.

“I love you Mizuki. Will you marry me?”

At that time, She spread her arms wide and jumped onto me. It was so quick, being hugged by her, smelling the hotel shampoo in her hair.

We should have used the same shampoo, but for some reason, why is her scent so soothing? Is it the compatibility score, or is it simply love? 

It wasn’t just that sensation that met me. She was driving into me with no bra, leading me to the edge of consciousness. I didn’t even know she left her bra hanging to dry in the bathroom, but I now know she is one cup bigger than me.

“Thank you! I’m so happy.”

“You say that, but. . .I’m a pretty clingy woman. I just ran away because I was jealous of some unknown concert goer you liked.”

“Ah, as I thought.”

Mizuki with tears in her eyes hugged me tighter. I wonder if she is just shocked. But I’m still really worried.

She said she fell in love with me at first sight. She may have fallen for others at first sight too.

“I’m sorry for being petty.”

“Noo, I’m just happy about that. I have to apologize.”

“Apologize. . ?”

“Well, I lied to Aki. I didn’t fall in love with you at first sight during our marriage meeting. I fell in love with you at first sight two years ago.”

. . .Oh yeah?

2 years ago. . . But we just met 3 months ago. . . Huh?

“I fell in love with you two years ago at a concert venue. It was love at first sight, and every time there was a performance I would go and look for you. Always looking around and watching for you in the lobby. Gazing at you from a distance. I’m sorry, it’s rather disgusting.”

“. . . . The person you were looking out for. Was me?”

Mizuki nodded saying “Yes”. My shoulders lost all their strength. That was it.

She told me the details. She saw me at a live concert about two years ago, and fell in love with me at first sight. Even though she had only been to a few venues up to that point, she thought she’d be able to meet me at more if she went to more local concerts. So she started to go out more.

When she saw me she couldn’t muster up any confidence, never able to call out to me, simply staring at me from a distance. A ridiculously wuss, but I don’t know if I believe that.

“I wish I had told you sooner.”

“No way! We are fine like this, and maybe I would’ve been taken aback.”

“Sure. If you heard about this right after we met, it’d be normal to be scared. I would be a careless stalker.”

“You were a pretty good one. Ah, I had no clue I was being followed!”

“Ahaha. I had a reputation to hold.”

Maybe I would have treated her suspiciously if a person just called out to me at a venue, and if I heard about it immediately after the marriage interview, I would have been a little more on guard. I feel like if I was called out and I felt something, it’s highly likely that it wouldn’t have led to romance.

It’s funny because the way we met, and the time we spent with each other, got us to understand our emotions. It’s miraculous that it happened at all.

“I had a fruitless crush on someone I didn’t even know about for two years. If the miracle happened that we were able to get along, I decided I wanted to cherish it no matter what.”

Mizuki said so as she put her strength into the arms around me. Even the way she put effort into it was gentle, and I was able to feel cherished like this alone.

It was a long wait for her, after waiting that long, I will make sure to cherish her from now on. I want Mizuki to smile all the time, I want her to be happy that she fell in love with me those years ago.

“Did you feel disappointed when you actually got to talk to me?”

“You weren’t what I expected, but I’m far from disappointed, I love you more now.”

“Thank you, I love you too. . .So I want to tell you that in more ways than just words.”

“Eh, what- – -Wah!?!”

Like holding a cute lamb, I slowly pushed her sideways, flopping her onto the bed.

For a while now, there was a certain amount of defenselessness around her. Putting on a bathrobe with no bra, hugging the wolf, I could see her thighs for a while now, plus we just finished a shower and that finished all the prepwork.

Moreover, in such a state, I was staring at a face that spelled out “I love you.” How was I going to endure?

I think it’s good. It’s okay, right? Sure it is!

“Is this okay?

“I-It’s okay, but. . . what about Aki’s?”

“Yeah. We can change later, but first I want Mizuki to feel good. So. . .”

We put our forehead together, noses touched, like a familial animal expression, I whispered “Is it actually okay?” She replied. “Idiot of course it is.”

She accepted me, our lips finally meeting in a sweet sensation as usual, yet a hotter temptation drew me in. There is absolutely no other person who makes me scream with just one kiss.

Our compatibility is the highest ever. So let’s be the happiest two in the world together.

No matter what happens in the future. I swear to love you in all time, in sickness and health.

How did our compatibility go that night?

It’s a secret only for two. Not even Hazama would ever know.

The End.

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