Chapter 134 - The Biggest Mistake

Alice returned from the hospital on automation. She had been discharged and though she had heard everything the doctor had said from resting well to medications and all those placating things about it happening quite often, her mind remained blank like a clean slate. In her hand, she held the bag of medicines that the nurse had stuffed and her medical file. She paid the cab driver the money and walked into the hotel not wanting to see anything else. 

On the way, she decided that she needed to sleep. There was no need to think or feel or worry. There was no point in all that. The best thing to do was sleep. Once she slept, she would be able to wake up from the nightmare she was currently in.

The others who had been waiting in the lounge saw Alice walk towards the elevator indifferently and breathed a sigh of relied mixed with worry. At least she was physically fine. But emotionally.. They just hoped that she would be able to stay strong. At this time, the last thing in their mind was the concert tomorrow. They had already decided that if need be they would make an excuse for K tomorrow. Yes, their fans would be disappointed and they may be subjected to criticism, but it was better to give them the time to heal. Hoping that Adam would return soon, the boys returned to their own rooms with heavy hearts.

As Alice walked into the quiet room and the lights were turned on, she looked around, her eyes automatically searching for Adam but no one was around. Without a word, she walked to the bed and placed the medicines on the bedside table. There, lying on the side of the bed was a small note that caught her eye. "Hey babe! I had to leave for practice early and did not want to disturb your sweet sleep. Sorry for not making it last night! I promise to explain everything and make it up to you! My phone is not working and I don't know why so leaving you good morning kisses here. Also, come to the studio around seven. I want you to meet someone special! XOXO-  Your Hubby."

Alice looked at the time and saw it was almost 9.00 p.m. It was no point in going now. Placing the note back on the table, she took off her shoes and slid into bed, covering herself from head to toe with a duvet so that she was enshrouded in darkness. She closed her eyes but then the moment that she had discovered the news that she miscarried seemed to re play in her mind again and again. 

She never knew she was pregnant! Her periods had been late but she had assumed that it was due to stress. They had taken been sure to take precautions.. Where did the mistake happen? She had believed that she was not prepared for a child. She had not wanted a child any time soon. But then in that moment when she had come to know their child's existence then there had been only one thought in her head. To save her child. But it had been too late by then. Where did she make a mistake? Was it when she said that day that she did not want a child so soon? Is that why her baby left her even before she could realize that it was there?

Or was it because she had been working too much to come here that her body could not take care of her baby. She had heard somewhere that expectant mothers should not travel for their first trimester.. And she had flown for so long! If she had known, if she had even thought to check for pregnancy, she would have not come here.. Shaking her head, Alice tried to get rid of the thoughts that were crowding her her head and closed her eyes even more tightly! The mistake had already been done! There was no point in thinking back.

But her mind did not stop. As tears continued to fall from her eyes, her brain continued to supply the many instances that she could have hurt her baby. From the wild sex they had had the night when they met again to last night.. Last Night! It had to be last night when she had drunk too much wine! She had been foolishly happy and her child had paid the price. 

Cupping her hands around her stomach, she cried bitter tears or sorrow and regret as she repeated over and over again, "I am sorry, my baby. I am sorry Adam. I could not even take care of our baby.. I was too clueless.. Sorry... Sorry.."

Finally, as Alice curled into a fetal position, the stress of the day got to her and she fell asleep. But even in her sleep, she continued to murmur 'sorry' and tears continued to flow. 

A long time later, deep into the night, Adam opened the door to the room slowly.. And every thought and feeling that he had suppressed returned full force when he was the dark and quiet room. Was she not there in the room? Did she not want to explain or did she not feel the need to explain her actions or at least the misleading picture? The silence felt like a slap in the face and his already churning emotions returned full force.

After turning the lights on, he noticed the small curled up lump under the blankets and sighed. She had fallen asleep. On the one hand, she wanted to wake her up and demand an explanation but on the other he hated himself for not trusting her and even wanting an explanation.. It seemed he was not as calm as he had thought himself to be. Forcefully clenching his hands, he turned his back and turned back to walk out of the room.. They would talk later if that was what she wanted.