Chapter 207 - Awkward

Lila

The car ride to the apartment building was very quiet. Lila's head spun, but she'd managed to keep the lawyers off the subject of what was outlined in Dane's documents, and on the subject of how and why now was the time to make it all happen. She just prayed the Police didn't officially open the case overnight.

Chris sat next to her in the car, glancing at her worriedly. Glancing at her stomach. She was going to have to start answering questions about that fake pregnancy again soon, but she'd managed to fall apart just enough to keep him from bringing it up. At least, so far.

When they exited the car in the parking lot, Josh leapt out of the back-up car and rushed to Lila's side, while Chris briefed the driver. But Lila ignored all of them, just walked like she couldn't think about anything except getting into bed, and let them deal with the details. 

Chris caught them up on the stairs and was alongside her when Josh opened her apartment and went inside to sweep again. 

"Where's my cat," she mumbled to Chris through barely moving lips."

"Oh, sorry. I'll… um, get on that," he said. "Why don't you just rest tonight?"

Her stomach sank. So maybe Douglas hadn't been lying after all. But Chris didn't know that Douglas had told her the cat was dead. That was a good sign. 

Wasn't it?

She dropped her face into her hands. She was so fucking sick of second-guessing everyone, and everything.

How had Dane lived this way for so long?

When Josh came back to say the apartment was clear, she pushed past him and inside without even saying thank you. And Chris was right on her heels.

She couldn't decide how she felt about that.

He took another turn through the apartment while she got herself a drink from the kitchen and threw her jacket and purse on the couch. Then she just… stood there while Chris walked through every room before coming back to join her, standing next to the couch.

"You're definitely alone," he said quietly, peering at her like he was scared a sudden movement might send her into hysterics.

He wasn't too far off the truth, actually. Her skin itched. 

She was slammed, then, with a mental visual of Doug doing to Dane what Dane had done to that man and—ugh! She sucked in a breath and rubbed her face, swallowing back tears.

"Lila," Chris started, but she shook her head to stop him.

"Please, don't. I'm just… overwhelmed," she said. "I need to take a shower and sit on my couch and do something mind-numbing and then go to sleep."

"And eat. You need to eat. You know. For your health," he added carefully.

She nodded. "I will."

"Can I bring you something? We can get a driver to pick up take-out and—"

"No. I just…" she trailed off and turned so she was facing him.

When she didn't finish the thought, Chris nodded. "I get it. And, honestly, I've seen Dane in this place too. It's like your brain hits overload and you can't even think about all the stuff you can't stop thinking about."

She nodded. "I just need some quiet."

He blinked and stared and Lila's gut twisted, because of the way he was looking at her. He swayed towards her, like he might put his arms around her, but she pretended she didn't notice and turned away from him, taking a drink from the water she'd gotten from the kitchen. "Thank you for bringing me home," she said quietly. "I really am fine—I mean, I'm not. But I really do just need to be alone, I think."

Chris nodded and ran a hand through his hair in a gesture so like Dane, Lila's stomach clenched. 

"Okay, well, if you need anything…?"

"I'll call you. I promise. And if I sleep, I'll stay asleep until it's time to go to the lawyer. But if I don't, I'll see you in the office in the morning."

He frowned. "Are you sure that's a good idea? It's pretty stressful. And it sounds like we'll have a lot to do in the afternoon."

"I'm certain," she said firmly. "If I can't sleep, I will need something to focus on other than Dane."

She didn't explain. Didn't tell Chris that all she could see in her mind's eye was her husband being tortured, tormented, or killed. She knew he'd hear it differently. She wanted him to hear it differently. And anyone else who was listening. But… it felt like a betrayal. Part of what was twisting her up inside was having to pretend that she was angry with Dane, or didn't want him back. When it was what she knew had happened to him all of his life—always because of his father.

She hated looking like just one more in a long line of women who didn't think he was worth the trouble.

Dane was worth the trouble. He was worth more than all of this.

What was she going to do if he didn't make it out? 

What was she going to do if he decided he didn't have a choice but to stay? Her breath caught and tears welled. Chris looked alarmed, and she turned away shaking her head. "Please, just leave me alone," she whispered.

And when he finally did, she told Josh she was going to lay down, locked the door behind him, and walked into her bedroom and threw herself on the bed, and sobbed.

Because what no one else knew, what she had been avoiding thinking about, was that Dane really had gone back. And if he couldn't figure out a way to get free, and keep her safe, he was going to stay. He'd warned her. He knew. He couldn't fake his way through this. He had to be prepared to stay—to die at his father's hand—otherwise he'd die anyway. There was no half-assing it with Douglas Daniels. 

Dane had warned her, and she hadn't wanted to listen. But she knew: Dane wouldn't betray his father, in case his father killed her. 

Which meant, if he couldn't find a way out that his father would accept, Lila would never see Dane alive again.