Chapter 197 - Nowhere Near Normal

Lila

Two days later, at John's advice, Lila returned to the office. She didn't warn anyone she was coming and, as expected, there was a great fuss from the staff when she stepped off the elevator. 

She went in late, then was held up for almost an hour receiving hugs and well-wishes, so it was almost lunchtime before she walked into her office. The smell of it, the light, it all reminded her of Dane. Walking into her own office was overwhelming, how was she going to walk into Dane's? Were they even opening his office? 

"What are you doing here?" Chris said from the doorway. Lila whirled, then gritted her teeth against the pain in her ribs. 

"You have got to stop startling me!" she said breathlessly. 

Chris rushed forward, taking her arm and leading her to her office chair. She sat carefully, feeling sheepish, but while her ribs were healing from the infection. She still struggled with a lot of pain. Especially when she lay down, or twisted. "Are you okay?" he asked several times until she waved him off and caught her breath.

"I'm fine." When he gave her a look and opened his mouth, she rushed on. "I mean, I'm not fine. But I'm better than I was. And I can't spend another day in that apartment. I'm going crazy. I have questions that need answers, and they won't be found in the wallpaper of my apartment. I had to come in, Chris. I didn't know what else to do." Her voice broke on the last word and he put his hand on her back, rubbing it—gently, she noticed.

"Lila… I can't imagine what you're going through. And we want to do anything we can to help you. But… is this a good idea? I'm worried you'll hurt yourself more if you try to do too much."'

"I don't know what else to do. I need to be around people. I need to do something normal. And I need to look for the answers to my questions. When is the Penthouse going to be opened again?" she asked, letting her voice climb in a plea.

Chris gave her a pained look. "I know it's rough, but they'll release it soon, I'm sure. They're just making sure there's no forensics."

Lila nodded and turned around to face the window. I just needed to do something normal. And... it seems like if anything comes up I'll learn it here faster. Please don't make me leave, Chris. I'm not going to do anything crazy. Just make phone calls and.... I don't know. Something. 

He sighed. "If Dane does ever get out he's going to kill me, but... okay. Just, please be careful."

"About Dane," she said carefully. 

"Yes?"

"I have some questions. Can I get into the logs and stuff? Check some things out."

Chris looked confused. "Well, of course. But do you want to tell me what you're looking for? I might be able to help you find it."

"The problem is, I don't really know. I just have a hunch that he lied to me. And... I can't stand the not knowing, Chris. That maybe he's been fooling me all this time."

"Dane isn't really bad guy, Lila. He just got caught up... he loves you." She noticed he didn't really reassure her about Dane.

"That's not what I thought he was lying about," she said warily. "I just need to look around. Can i do that, please?"

"Of course. You have the clearance. You don't need to ask."

"I just didn't want you thinking I was checking up on you. I know you're being so great, handling everything while he's gone," she lied. 

Chris gave a flat smile. "Thanks, but he talked to me before he left. I knew I was going to need to take the reins for a while."

"Wait, what?" Lila turned as quickly as she could. "He told you he was leaving?"

Chris blinked. "He didn't know what was going to happen, but he knew he was going to his dad to find you. He didn't tell me exactly what his plan was. But he made sure I knew what to do if he... didn't come back."

Lila's lip crumpled. "He knew," she said bitterly. "He knew his dad was going to show me... all of this. That I'd find out he lied." 

"I really don't think-"

"You weren't there, Chris. You didn't hear his explanations."

"Lila, he lost his mind when he found out his father had you. I mean, for real. It took three of us to keep him down."

"I told you, Chris, he didn't lie about loving me. He lied about who he is. Who he was... I don't know. He just... he isn't who I thought he was. And I can't even talk to him about it, so I don't know what to do!" She let her frustration and tension with all the deceit and manipulation show. Her hands began to shake. Chris noticed and his brow furrowed. 

"Lila, what are you saying?"

"Nothing. I'm saying nothing. Just... just leave me alone, please. I'll... I'll be fine. I just need some space."

She was crying by the time he closed the door. The tears weren't fake. But she prayed Chris wasn't picking up on her lies. She prayed Dane had the right idea about how to play this. Because she was starting to feel like she was the one going crazy. 

She spent hours in the office, not talking to anyone, except to get information, or direction around the system. And she found nothing. So it was with sheer frustration that she slammed her laptop down late that afternoon. 

It wasn't there. Whatever Dane thought they were doing behind his back either wasn't there, or she didn't know what to look for. 

She was still waiting to hear from John, too, which was wearing on her like a nailfile. He'd said a day, two at most. Today was three days and she was just about ready to use the address he'd provided and knock down his door. He must know something by now. Why wasn't he calling?

Lila dropped her elbows to the desk and rubbed her temples. Her rib was aching which didn't help. And every time she closed her eyes she had visions of Dane being tortured by his father. Her hands were shaking. She had to do something or she was going to crawl out of her own skin! 

She'd just pushed back her chair and decided to go find Chris when someone knocked on the door. 

"Come in!"

When Chris opened the door she tried to smile. "I was just going to come look for you."

"Well, I'm here," he said and stepped into the room. It took a second to notice, but as he stood there, his hand relaxed at his side, she couldn't miss the tension in him. 

She froze. "What is it?"