Chapter 44 - The Sound Of Silence

Lila

They both froze, eyes locked. Until a door began to open down the hall and Dane swore. Lila pulled the door wide to give him space to get in, praying the person hadn't seen him before he'd ducked inside.

He slipped into her apartment, immediately walking through to the living room, scanning the room as if looking for an intruder. "Where is your phone?" he was still angry, but had stopped shouting. "Why weren't you answering?"

Lila locked the door, then stood there for a second, still trying to process his confession. "I don't know," she said to the floor. "I was asleep on the couch.." He'd said he cared. And he'd said it when he was angry. He was still angry.

When she looked up he was tossing couch pillows and her blanket around looking for her phone, eventually finding it between the cushions of the couch, then swore again, flashing the screen so she could see it—Chris Calling—before he tapped the screen to answer it.

"She's here. I've got her. She fell asleep with the phone on silent. She's home. She's safe," he croaked. His eyes closed then and he dropped his chin. The relief poured off him in waves—so obvious, so heavy. Lila ached for him and walked to his side and put a hand to his arm. He shivered, but didn't remove it. "No, have them standdown. I want a perimeter tonight, just to be safe. But other than that, bring them in…Yes. Yes. No, there isn't…do we have any other intelligence? No? Then leave it. Normal check-in procedures, but let the team go home. Yes, I'm sure," he growled, and looked at her. Their eyes locked.

His were full of anguish.

*****

Dane

He had to stop looking at her or he was going to grab her and none of this was going to get sorted out.

"I said handle it, Chris. I need to educate Miss Farris on our safety procedures for off-time. Call me if there's another problem. And don't forget that meeting tomorrow." He tapped the phone and let go of a deep breath. He couldn't believe they'd gotten away with it. He'd panicked and herded Chris to get a team searching, and another checking his father. He couldn't believe she'd been here the whole time. Safe.

He handed her the phone and prayed she couldn't see his hands tremble. It was embarrassing, but he didn't think she noticed. She was staring at him like she'd never seen him before, her eyes wide. One of her hands remained on his arm. Her face was puffy and red, her hair rumpled. She was beautiful. And she was safe. Thank anything holy, she was safe.

He couldn't decide if the wide eyes were worry for him, or fear of him. But she was touching him, and it helped. His heart was still racing, his breath still came too fast, too heavy. But it would ease now. He could feel it.

Once she had the phone, he rubbed a hand over his face to break her searching gaze. "I'm sorry if I scared you…damn, Lila, I was so scared that he'd…" he swallowed the words.

Pull yourself together, pussy.

He couldn't go down that rabbit hole if he wanted to have a conversation with her. Then what she'd said registered and he frowned. "Wait, what was that bullshit about me being ashamed of you?"

Her eyes narrowed and she took her hand off his arm to fold her arms under her breasts pressing them up like they were on offer. He forced himself to keep his gaze on her face.

"When he came in you threw me away like it was…like you were embarrassed for him to know that we'd been kissing. You fled from me, Dane."

"Embarrassed? Are you serious?"

She tipped her head. "Yes," she said through her teeth. "Look, I get it okay. I know I'm not…experienced like you, but that doesn't mean you can treat me like…like—"

He stepped towards her and she stepped back, a warning look in her eyes. But he was done playing games. He thought he'd lost her. For three hours he'd thought he'd lost her before he'd even had her and he wasn't going to let it happen again. He prowled toward her, following when she stumbled back, slapping his hand away. "Stop it, Dane. I'm serious."

"So am I." His voice was broken granite. Because of her. For her. "On what planet would any man be embarrassed by you, let alone me?"

"The same planet where you threatened to fire me the first day I started, then avoided me for a month?"

"I wasn't avoiding you, I was trying to keep you safe."

"Well, do me a favor next time and don't. It just hurt me."

Now that he was getting his breath back, his body was waking up, adrenalin still coursing through his veins, but now lighting up his senses for her. The smell of her. The flush of her cheeks. The warmth of her skin. He descended on her and she kept backing away.

"Why would you care how much space I gave you?" he asked carefully.

"Because no matter how infuriating you are, I'm crazy enough to care about you, Dane!" she said, her voice too high, too tight. The smile that had been building in him faded as he realized she had tears in her eyes. He blinked.

He was hurting her.

Everything he'd said to her—the risk, the danger, the way he destroyed everyone he touched—it all came flooding back and he stopped walking towards her.

This. Hurting her. This was what he did.

What was he thinking? She had him turned upside down. He couldn't do this to her or she would be in danger next time.

*****

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