Chapter 97 - Your Trauma Is Showing - Part 1

~ SASHA ~

Of all the things she'd seen from Zev since he showed up again, this was the moment that worried her most.

To be fair, the neck snapping ran a very close second.

But as she sat there questioning him, she watched Zev go pale. His hands shook first, then the rest of him began to twitch. He gripped her hand so tightly she was starting to lose blood flow. And he wasn't even conscious of it, she was sure.

"Zev?" she asked, rubbing his arm with her free hand. "Are you okay?"

"I didn't know," he mumbled. "Not at first. And once I did… I stopped. I mean, it took me some time to accept it, but once I realized… I didn't know, Sash, you have to believe me."

"I believe you... What are you talking about?"

Zev closed his eyes and let his head sink back against the rock behind them, his face twisted in a grimace that rang her heart like a bell.

"Dunken?" he said without opening his eyes. "Skhal told me there was a female who was returned, but she got sick soon after, and died. What… what happened to her? What kind of sickness did she have? How long did it last?"

Dunken frowned. "You're speaking of Ehle. She seemed fine when she first returned, if a little quiet. We all assumed it was because she'd been torn from her mate."

"What did she say about how they were taken?"

"I don't know. She only spoke to Xar and her mate about it. Early on, she didn't seem to want to be in groups. She spent all her time with her mate and he with her. Then she got sick. After she died, when we asked what Xar knew about what had happened, he said she affirmed what the humans told us. And that she hadn't been able to tell him why she decided to follow them. He'd been planning to question her further, but she got ill."

Zev's face dragged for the floor. "And her mate? He died too? How long after?"

"It was really quick for him. He shut off almost as soon as she died, and he was gone in less than a month."

"Shut off?" Sasha asked.

Zev's throat bobbed. "When a Chimera loses their mate they go into this kind of grief," he said hoarsely. "They just… don't want anything. They don't sleep. Don't want to eat. They disappear into their own minds and memories and… they never come back."

Dunken nodded. "His was unusually fast, though."

Zev's arm tensed under her hand and his face was so pale he looked almost gray.

"Zev, what—"

"Was she pregnant?" he asked Dunken, his face drawn and tight.

Dunken's eyebrows rose. "Not that I know of."

Zev's lips thinned and the little muscles at the back of his jaw twitched. "Are you certain?"

"Well, no. I mean. I didn't ask her. If she was, it would have had to be early because she wasn't showing, and she didn't smell of it."

Zev nodded, but still didn't open his eyes. Sasha's heart was pounding. Something was really scaring him. "Zev," she said urgently, "What is it? You look terrible. What's wrong?"

"I think I know what she died of. And I think… I think I know what the humans are doing with all the females. And why they came back today to tell Xar that I bred them."

"Wait, weren't you with the females, Zev?" Dunken said, frowning. "Sasha said you have been breeding—"

Zev's eyes finally opened and he turned to her. "Yes, but… I mean the mated females. They never gave those to me."

Sasha and Dunken waited. Zev seemed to brace himself, then he finally turned his head and it was Sasha's eyes he sought, though she suspected Dunken better understood what he said. His arm went rigid under her hand, as if he fought something to get the words out.

"I think they gave the mated females to humans," he croaked. "And I think they gave the other ones to me—some of them. Not all. And I think… I think they're failing in making what they want, so they keep trying and… I think the females are dying because of it."

"Zev, what are you talking about? What happened to the females?"

"I don't know! That's my point! I only ever saw most of them one time and they were never… they chose to be there! It was me who struggled with it all, and I was supposed to the easy one. I was never anywhere near them except in the breeding arena. I never saw them where they were held or… or housed."

"Never?" Dunken asked skeptically.

"Never!" Zev cursed. "The males they had, who were actively working, they kept us busy training and on operations—we only went to the farm a couple times a month. And I never wanted to… it was the threats—they had me believing… it doesn't matter. I learned over time.

"I finally put it all together and realized they were lying to me—but by then they had Sasha under surveillance, and they were letting me watch over her. And the females always said yes. They always said yes!" He groaned. "There were only a couple of them that I saw more than once, and I just assumed that was because they hadn't gotten pregnant so we were trying again. But… but if they were using the mated females… Fuck, Dunken… this is even worse than I thought."

"Wait, you two weren't together this whole time?" Dunken said, looking between them.

"What?" Sasha cried. "No! I haven't seen Zev in five years until a couple days ago."

Dunken's mouth dropped open. "Zev, what the fuck have you been doing?"

"I've been trying to save her and keep them off my back, and I thought… I always thought I'd get back here and be able to explain. But a month turned into two, and two turned into six, and then it had been a year and I knew there had to be a new Alpha. And Sasha was still under their eyes, and I couldn't leave her… Every time they made me breed I'd tell myself it was the last time. That was going to take Sasha and run, but I kept getting… I don't know. Something always made me change my mind."

He broke off, his face wide with horror. Sasha clutched his arm but she didn't think he even realized she as touching him.

"Fuck, this is… Fuck.. Are they inside my head?" he snarled.