Chapter 50 - I'm The Cucumber, You're The Chrysanthemum

Behind the door where he is safe after using the Teacher's power to ward off any influence from the brotherhood, Daoist Panda in the body of Captain Walter Clerval sighed.

He laid on the old servants' bed with a plop!

Pretending to be a second male is not easy. He had to apply all the things he learned from suave, swashbuckling captains he watched on TV just to act out this character.

Not to mention he had to control his internal thoughts itself in case the Teacher is listening, and align his way of thinking with what Captain Clerval should be thinking. It was a real tightrope act, and he managed to do it with finesse. Yet...

He looked at the journal Zhe Chouhen left for him as well. He could not help but reprimand his hater for being too hasty and doing such a bold move like this. He was too lucky that it was him possessing the body of the second male lead.

"Wait.... Does he know?" Daoist Panda stood up from the bed again from the shock of this theory. "He can't be that smart, right?

"Yeah... He's probably so dumb that he thinks leaving out a clue to the second male lead that is this obvious would be safe and not alert the brotherhood. Tsk, he really is so careless...."

But a part of him is still hoping that..... this is not the case. That Zhe Chouhen knows him so well and somehow managed to figure him out.

He scanned over the 'Studies of Franklin Storitz and Andres Cervantez'. It seems to be what would be the equivalent of a college thesis project in pairs. Their chosen study to research was about how effective coffee is in making one more energized for labor, and how they can make a sort of machine that will automatically grind the beans in order to make the drink faster.

But that is not the important part. this book also served almost like a journal about Franklin and Andres' life together in college as the bestest of friends. Franklin wrote in detail fondly about his shenanigans and failures in the research with Andres.

[Entry #24

My partner, Mr. Cervantez, was conducting a heating through sunlight experiment with the coffee beans. He had placed a bowl of them in the middle of carefully arranged mirrors. But then, a bird had redirected one of the mirrors towards him, who was busily rummaging the drawers looking for his pencil that slid off under the gaps again. This caused his pants to be scorched a bit, revealing his very bright red underwear.]

[Entry #49

I attempted a prototype of a slicing mechanism to be the one to grind the beans. It works well with grinding soft fruits, but I should have known that it wouldn't fare too well with hard objects. One coffee bean hit me square in the eye, breaking one of my lenses and making me look like I had just been given a good beating by a thug. Andres laughed heartily at my expense.]

There was a lot of this, but Daoist Panda focused on the ending parts. This is what he felt like Zhe Chouhen is trying to leave for his character, who may or may not know that the second male lead is being played by him.

[Entry #63

This research is discontinued. My partner, and beloved friend, had passed away. I shall not be submitting these studies to the academy. Instead, I will keep this a reminder of my fond memories of him.

The death of a friend is never an easy matter to overcome. I shall always, always miss you, Andres.]

But besides the name Andres, there was a small doodle.

To an outsider's eye, that doodle meant nothing. Just a bunch of scribbles and lines that don't make sense in the context of what is written beside it.

But to Daoist Panda's discerning eye, it was clearly a doodle of a fucking cucumber and a chrysanthemum!

Daoist Panda closed the book, one of his eyes twitching, yet his lips quirking up a bit. He said in a tone that was like giving up. "Zhe Chouhen........ you really are a fucking pervert."

------------------------------------

Zhe Chouhen sneezed.

"Bless you." said the man beside him.

The man he telegraphed is not someone who will give him a heart, but an informant. A gravedigger for scientists.

This old man used to be a pharmacist, but lost his license due to the news of selling unprescribed medicine and opium. He now works as a seller of many questionable concoctions and herbs, and most of the ingredients... he gets from the dead.

"This is all I found. A Duke's daughter, I hear. She had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. The walls of her heart are two millimeters too thick. Her corpse is only five days old, very fresh."

Zhe Chouhen closed his nose from the smell, observing the rotten corpse and getting the organ extracted for him using a glove. "Thank you. But freshness doesn't matter. I will not be using this right away."

"Why?" The gravedigger asked.

"Hm... Let's just say it is not the right time at the moment." 'Franklin' put the girl's heart and enwrapped it carefully, putting it in a separate bag. "You keep it."

"But it will rot----"

"I will give you an additional 3,000 gold marks." He said. "You put it in an icy bucket until you receive the liquid I will have delivered at your address. Then, place the heart in that blue liquid. Hurry, I want to go home since I have other matters to attend to."

The old man knew when or when not to ask questions, and so he kept his mouth shut. He ran off with the hypertrophied heart.

This is also part of the original script that Zhe Chouhen just followed. Franklin's sick plan.

Zhe Chouhen threw the gloves on the trash, and escaped the cemetery. He checked his watch, and hitched a ride home.

As he went home, he found that there was a waft of the sweet smell of chicken in the air. He felt really hungry, and opened the door of Haus Storitz, ready to bask in the smell.

"Stein!" He called out. "Stein, I'm home!"

As he said this, the door to his bedroom burst open, and a frantic Stein came to hug him! "You said you'll be back soon, and it's already dinner time!"

'Franklin' patted his back, giving a bit of an 'ooof' from how tightly he's hugging. "It took longer than I expected.... Anyway, what are you cooking? It smells lovely."

"I am not cooking." Stein blinked in surprise, and sniffed the air as well. His senses are a bit denser than normal people due to him being an undead. "Tsk... It must be that illiterate."

"The captain?" 'Franklin' chuckled. "I didn't know he can cook."

He went over with Stein to the kitchen, and saw that Captain Clerval was busily preparing a whole pot roast. He grinned at them, though if you pay attention enough, he is grinning brighter at 'Franklin'. "Dinner is served, boys! This is a family recipe, better dig in while it's hot!"

Stein immediately got a pang of jealousy at how well the chicken roast looked like, and how he had never cooked something as good as that. He scowled, not wanting to eat it. He also doesn't want to let his creator eat something from someone else, but of course, he can't. All humans need to eat.

"It looks absolutely fantastic, captain! The color, the smell..... all of it is perfect. Have you considered abandoning the seas and staying in the kitchen as a househusband instead?"

Both blondies, one golden and one silvery, just stared at him with wide eyes.

Zhe Chouhen shrugged, taking a piece of the chicken leg. "I am just saying that if you are to consider marriage, you would do well for your spouse since you can cook so well. Is there something wrong with that?"

Daoist Panda thought: [Stop flirting with me in front of the MC, you idiot!]

He cannot risk conversing telepathically with Zhe Chouhen, so instead, he played it off. "Ah, but the sea is the only wife for me, doctor. As well as my Snow Queen."

This caused Stein to scowl harder, but his cheeks reddened a bit. Then, he came into a realization, and became even more sheepish. "Your ship..... Of course."

'Franklin' gave a glance at Stein, then back at the smugly grinning Captain Clerval, and just shrugged, eating happily.

Daoist Panda interpreted that with him being impressed with his flirting skills. [That's right..... you're not the only one who can play a male lead. I'm your rival here, and a very strong one!]

They finished dinner in awkward silence, only having 'Franklin' thank the captain again for the meal, with Stein reluctantly doing so, and head off for bed. As they went on their separate rooms on opposite sides of the grand staircase, Stein asked 'Franklin' about his travel outside.

"Did you manage to find a heart for me, Frank?" He asked in hushed tones, careful even when the captain is too far away to overhear.

"No." Zhe Chouhen easily lied. "Unfortunately, I would have to look longer. Maybe I would have to enlist the help of the captain tomorrow---"

"No!" Stein countered. "Absolutely not! We don't need his help!"

"Why not?" 'Franklin' asked, ruffling his hair. "He cooked you dinner, Stein. You cannot be too prickly to a man who willingly cooked dinner for you. I told you to make him breakfast, did you?"

".... No. It turned out he can cook anyway, so I let him do it himself. I didn't leave my room until you returned. " Stein pouted childishly.

"Oh, Stein... That is not very mature of you. You shouldn't treat guests like that, as well as yourself. You were hungry all day since I left, how can I rely on you to be independent and self-sufficient on your own?"

Stein defended himself. "I would have cooked for myself.... If I was not trying to avoid that savage."

'Franklin' tilted his head to the side. "Why are you avoiding him so much? Did something happen?"

Stein panicked, and shook his head. His burned hand still had boils under his gloves. "Nothing, you know how I sincerely despise him with my own soul. Let us just go to sleep, talking about him tires me out."

Zhe Chouhen smiled inside, because he knows already what Stein is hiding. He let Stein go to bed...

And confront the captain once he had fallen asleep.

As he went over the room across theirs with a lamp and was about to knock at the door.....

The door swung open, with the captain waiting for him already. "Come in."

He grinned as he entered and 'Captain Clerval' closed the door behind him. "My, captain. Still awake at this hour?"

The captain scoffed. "And who's fault is that?"

Zhe Chouhen shrugged. "I don't understand what you are implying. Please elaborate."

But he found himself suddenly pushed on the bed by 'Captain Clerval'!

The sea captain showed him a page from a book, holding it up over his face like an interrogator. "What is the meaning of this?"

Zhe Chouhen looked at where he was pointing, a little surprise yet pleasantly so from being pushed like this. He narrowed his eyes a bit and adjusted his glasses to see where the Captain was pointing since the only light came from the dim lamp he brought.

He recognized his own doodle, and grinned.

"So it really is you."

Then.....

He pulled the captain in for a tight hug!

"Panda-laoshi, I'm so glad you're back!"

Daoist Panda's cheeks reddened like tomatoes not just from being touched by the gesture...

But also because Zhe Chouhen pulled him to his lap!

"Hey, let go! The heck, bro! Can you not....." He huffed, trying to push his smugly smiling face out of the way. "How did you figure it out anyway?"

"I just had a feeling." Zhe Chouhen said, still not letting go. "It smelled like panda stench the moment I met you."

"Bullshit...." Panda grappled out of his grasp. "Give me the real reason. Was it the vase? I kinda lost control there, you were just being so insufferable with your thoughts."

"Panda-laoshi, even before the vase incident, you were acting sus." Zhe Chouhen said. "But what made me decide to try and test you with the book was your encounter with Stein last night."

"You were watching?" Panda blinked in surprise.

"Yes..... Tsk, you're being too hasty, bro! Taking off his glove and even pulled his collar! I know you probably want to progress the story faster, but that's too unreasonable. Ah, how careless! "

Panda-laoshi was just given the taste of his own medicine, and he doesn't like it.

"Sh...... Shut up! It's hard to be a second male lead for an MC you don't even like, ok!? And stop hugging me!"