Book 3: Chapter 14

“So? How is it?”

“Ehhh…” Kida ponders over the parchment I hand her.

“It’s, surprisingly progressive in some areas?” Megara offers. “Like, some of these are laws a feminist would put into action.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a progressive guy.” I chuckle.

“Especially when the laws don’t apply to you…”

“Hey...”

“About the coming for you in your sleep…” Kida asks.

“A spell… it works atomatically. I’ll Freddy Kruger their asses.”

“Alright, well, perhaps death is a bit extreme for thinking about us?” Kida offers. 

“Very well, just horrific night terrors. Being murdered in your dreams will have the be enough…”

“Good!” Kida claps her hands. “I’m glad we could come to some agreement. I’ll be handing these around town. Along with the rumors from last night, this should put an end to any tomfoolery.”

I watch Kida take off, her athletic butt gyrating in that leather thong as she runs off to the Adventurer’s guild. I'm sitting in the yard of my mansion facing the city while dictating out orders towards building my kingdom. I'm on a couch that had been dragged out into the yard, sipping a drink not unlike lemonade while one of the maids fan me. A second maid is massaging my feet. I give a sigh while rubbing my temples. Being a lord sure is difficult.

“Megara, why are you still around?” I ask, watching Megara stay uncomfortably close to me.

“Ah! You noticed!”

“Noticed? Really, how could I not?”

“Well, it just seems to me, with you managing the city, that you have a lot on your plate.”

“That is true…”

“So, with so many duties, you’ll need someone to manage-”

“Rejected!”

“So quickly?” Megara grabs her heart and sways like she just took an arrow in the chest.

“I'm not going to have you go around trying to be altruistic and spreading ideals that will probably lead to the cities doom. This is my city, so I don't need another hero getting in the way.”

“Even if you say that, I heard the tavern owner met trouble. Isn't it best if you have someone who deals with the bullies?”

“Is someone being bullied?” I ask.

“Well… no…” Megara pushes two fingers together. “But that doesn’t mean that something might not happen!”

I sigh. “Besides, admit it, you have a more nefarious plan, don’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Megara freezes up. “It'd not like I plan to use my connections to help locate my old body!”

“Look, man... I got everything handled. I don't need you to manage anything." 

“You mean like her birthday, which was three days ago? When you did not celebrate it!”

“What? Who’s birthday?” I rise from my seat in a panic.

“Oh ho… exactly…” Megara’s eyes lowered. “And didn’t you remember the whole competition? You’re supposed to be taking the girl’s out on a date. They all seem to have accepted that you have forgot. But I caught some of them weeping because they wouldn’t get to spend the day with you!”

“You’re lying!”

“Hmm… I wonder…”

I let out a sigh. “Who is it?”

“Who is what?”

“Who is first on my list?”

“Mmm… not telling.”

I stand up calmly. “I don’t think you understand how this is going to go forward. I wasn’t asking…”

“I want some concessions! As a man in a woman's body, you can't just drag me into... into this harem of yours!" 

"Oh? Really..." 

I reach forward and with a twist I tear the dress from Megara. She lets out a scream as she desperately tries to cover herself.

"Wh-what do you think you're doing? 

“If you won’t tell me the answer, then I’ll just rape it out of you!”

“But the laws, you just set out the laws!”

“Bitch, I AM the law!” I rip off my pants, unveiling my massive throbbing member. “Now, bow down to the judge, jury, and executioner!”

“Y-you villain!"