Chapter 329: A Quiet Moment, Part 1

It was a quiet moment.

"What do you think, Ash?"

A skittish moment.

"Good?"

Pretty sure it wasn't the least bit necessary for me to spread my arms out like a freakishly elongated bald eagle taking flight, not that slowly spinning a full circle in place like some museum display on a glass swivel was any better either… but I did both anyway cause obviously I would, right? Obviously…

Ash tilted her blank stare, her mushy, strand-y hair following the side of her slant. Her eyes were like searchlights of green, scouring my entire body from head to toe presumably searching for any signs of done-goofery on my part.

After a long while that felt stretched to millenniums, Ash finally asked, "Is this what you'll be wearing for your outing with Lady Irene tonight?"

Could be just me, maybe it wasn't, but did she sound a little stiff finishing those last few words? I really don't know… and what does it really matter now? Just answer the question.

"Yeah, she mentioned tonight's a formal gathering, so dress to impress… as they say."

Her eyes continued to scour, closer and closer. "I never knew you to be in possession of such a glamorous article of clothing. Why I've just assumed all this while you've simply a distaste for elegance." 

A distaste for elegance? Do I really dress that much of a mess every other time? Was I really that blind to my own dwindling appeal?

"It's my Dad's," I explained, adjusting both sleeves just for something to do with my hands. "A little big, but it works regardless. Gave it to me for work interviews… I didn't use it before  'cause I thought it'll make me look like some kind of crook, y'know?" 

"I see," She nodded. "And the exception now?"

I just shrugged. "I have nothing else to wear now. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

A soft giggle left with her breath. "Well, Master, if it's any assurance at all, I do believe you are well-dressed for the occasion at hand. An allure to gazes astray. You are simply stunning."

"Oh… really?" I blinked, slightly taken aback. "Thank you."

I almost tacked on a 'so are you' at the end there. I don't believe I need to explain to anyone why I didn't.

"Lady Irene, she is a rather fortunate woman to find herself in your company tonight," She smiled. "Fortunate indeed."

There it was again. That little waver between words. It wasn't just me, then. It really was her.

"Ash - "

"Oh," She suddenly piped, raising piqued eyes forward. "But there seems to be still one glaring issue that needs rectifying at once, Master." 

"There is?"

Slowly, with an expression a little bashful, she stretched both arms out towards me, speaking out just as bashful, "May I?" 

Without another word, I shuffled myself closer to the doorway, closer to her… then not a moment later, I felt my head being pulled a little bit forward. Ash was holding on to my tie. 

"It's a little crooked, Master," She simply said.

"Is it?" 

She smiled. "Beyond salvation."

With one swift sleek tug, Ash loosened the silky noose of fashion from my neck, freeing me from its stifling hold. She let it unravel between her fingers, stretching it straight, before reaching out again and draping it over my shoulders, whispering once as she did, "Allow me."

"You know how to tie ties?" I asked, genuinely surprised. 

"But of course I do. It is my duty. Every whim, every undertaking, every new attire my Master desires… I must be prepared for all. I took it upon myself to inquire of Mistress Ria the outfits and customs of your world before her unfortunate slumber. Needless to say, she was more than happy to indulge my request."

I snorted. "It seems your foresight has actually paid off, hasn't it? Nice."

"Yes, it has indeed," She said, looking quite proud of it herself. "Now I must ask you kindly still yourself, Master. I will never forgive myself if you leave here tonight without you looking your absolute best."

It was a quiet moment.

A tense moment.

Everything about right then was not for the faint of heart. Now I wouldn't have minded it too much had only she been wearing anything more than just that one thin piece of towel over her body. 

Ash was closer to me than ever before. Too close all things considered. I could practically see every small water droplet clinging to her smooth skin, hanging loose at the fringes of her hair. 

Breathing in was also a toxic venture. Her scent permeated the air, it was such a sweet smell… intoxicating. Like flowers in a meadow, warm sunlight in a gentle breeze. It wasn't overpoweringly alluring like Irene's smell, but it was definitely as captivating in its own special way. 

And she was none the wiser to my silent struggles. While here she was doing her best to concentrate, I'm over here fighting hard not to, and it was definitely hard not to. 

Her almost exposed self left so much and yet at the same time so little to the imagination. The way the towel clung to her body, outlining her every curve, accentuating them… as if deliberate wanting to entice. I never noticed before how prominent her collar bone protrudes out like that or how broad her shoulders really were. 

The towel was gradually slipping… revealing… uh oh…

"When do you suppose you'll be returning home, Master?"

My eyes immediately snap back upwards, impulsively blinking themselves twice. "What?"

"You're outing tonight with Lady Irene," I felt her fingers lightly brush my neck. "Do you know how long you'll be gone?" 

"Oh, that," I gave it a few seconds of thought before replying back. "In a few hours, or maybe in the morning. It's really hard to say, Ash. I don't know what's gonna happen." 

"So long as you remember your true objective, I care not how anything happens," Both hands now, looping one stringy end through the other end. "Just do what must be done."

"Fulfil the succubus pact," I breathed out. "I know, I know." 

"Not just that," She shook her head. "Love her, Master. Love her to your sincerest." 

"Yeah, I know," I said, heaving breathily. "That Irene is as high-maintenance as it gets, that girl." 

"It shows just how much she really cares for you." 

"By looming death over my shoulder if she doesn't get it her way," I couldn't help but smile. "How romantic, right?"

"Lapses of judgments aside," Ash pulled on the tie. "Her desire for you brims strong. To be loved in such a way… why, I can only imagine."

How many times would her voice grow stiff within the minutes? It was like she was forcing herself to say them. Her casualness was just far too casual. Her expressions far too normal.

It's making me sick.

"What do you mean by you can only imagine?" I said, feeling those words leave so weightless.

She stiffened again. "Well, I - "

"You are loved that way, Ash," I said, her fingers on my tie frozen in a hold. I heard Amanda's words again in the car, my own words back in the convention, and spoke them out once again, "I love you that way." 

Red on her face, she veered away. "Y-Yes… of course, Master." 

Finally, the things I wanted to tell her, the words I wanted to say all this time, like a crack in a wall at its breaking point, they all just gushed from out of me, from out my lips.

"I mean it, Ash. Every word of it. I want you, I care for you, I love you so much, I don't even know how to say it. I didn't fight for your hand because I had to, I wanted to. I didn't want anybody else to hold yours, I want you all to myself. I want to be the only one that gets to see you smile, to hear you laugh, to hold your hand."

"Master…"

"I don't care what it takes. I don't care what Sera says, or what that idiot Jay does next. You're never leaving me, and I'm never leaving you. When you want something, you fight for it… only then you'll get what you want. And I want you, Ash. More than you could ever, ever imagine." 

"M-Master, I'm - "

"So don't say you can only just imagine. You don't have to imagine anything. Because lapses of judgment aside, I've always loved you. You're hearing this, right? You're listening, right? Not under any pact, not under any obligation… beyond the care of a Master, beyond the servitude of a Servant, I love you as a man would to a woman. Don't misconstrue me, don't misunderstand, if you do, I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to understand. Ash, I love you..." 

She still had her gaze away, veiled and hidden by the slant of her head, the locks of her glistening silver hair. Her towel continued to slip. I don't think she's even aware that it was… and if she did, then clearly she didn't care.

"I…" Her narrow ears gave a short flap, perking up. "I only need telling once, Master. Any more's unnecessary." 

"You don't want to hear it again?"

"N-No I…!" 

She drew her eyes to mine again, an impulse act, an action without thought, clearly. The way they shimmered brightly… too bright. How damped they looked without a droplet of water to be seen anywhere. Ash narrowed her lips, slowly fell her stare to the floorboards.

"Say it again, please," She said softly. 

I could only oblige.

"I love you, Ash," I said loudly, truly. "So, so much."

It was a quiet moment.

A tender moment.

Then…

"You're ready now," Ash quietly said that I barely heard her speak.

I blinked once. "What?"

"I've rectified the issue," She slowly pried a hand loose. "You are now looking the absolute best you could ever be." 

And so I was. I didn't need a mirror to affirm her claim true, from where I was looking, it was a perfect straight fit. I wasn't even feeling like I was a tug away from asphyxiation no more. 

"Wow," I said, genuinely impressed. "Thanks, Ash. It's perfect."

"It's no matter," She muttered, still refusing to meet my gaze. "Just promise you'll keep it that way."

"Will do."

For some reason, Ash was still holding onto the tie. Her other hand hanging limp at her side. 

"I suppose you better be off, Master," She advised. "Otherwise, you'll be late." 

"Yes…" I said. "I suppose I should."

"Remember what I've told you." 

"And you remember what I've told you." 

She nodded after me. "Understood."

I nodded right back. "Understood too." 

"Farewell, Master."

"Goodbye."

But she wasn't letting go. My tie tight in her grip. Still so close, refusing to part, unable to complete our goodbyes.

"Ash…" I warily spoke, staring down at her downcasted gaze. "You're holding onto my - "

I lost my words. I lost my balance. Another split-second of senselessness. Not any more holding, not anymore downcasted, Ash tugged again - hard, forceful - pulling me close, closer than we've ever been before. 

I remembered the falling. 

I don't remember the landing. 

The emerald green of her eyes reflected so clearly the black in my own. It was all I could see. Her breathing, so light and yet so heavy, all I could hear. And her lips, so supple, so soft, pressing firmly against mine, all I could feel. 

Our footsteps creaked, pulling me across the doorway, further towards her, her hand still tugging hard. Everything else didn't seem to matter. All I could focus on was how soft her body was, how cold her skin was drenched - her fingers on my back, my hands on her hips - I didn't even hear the door slam close.

All that mattered was that one moment.

This quiet moment.

Our moment.