Chapter 270 - Again

Delaney felt her world crumbling around her.  This couldn't be happening again.  Not again.

"B-But the letters..."

"I obviously wasn't clear enough with Daniel in my letter.  I'll write him again."

Vincent got up from the bed and pulled on his breeches.  He ran his hands over his face and up through his hair

"But why?" she asked quietly, tears burning in her eyes.

"Because Delaney nothing has changed."

"Nothing needs to change.  The King himself said he wouldn't break our marriage contract so we don't have to..."

"Please don't do this," he looked at her desperately, "I still can't be what you need."

"Vincent all I need is you!"

"That's not true," he said loudly, turning on her, "That's not true Delaney and you know it's not.  I can't go through all of this again with you.  The reasons haven't changed."

Delaney sat on the bed clutching the sheets to her chest, suddenly feeling foolish for being there naked in front of him.

"If... if you were just going to send me away again why... why did you spend the night with me?"

"Because I love you," he sighed, "That hasn't changed.  I love you and I love being with you.  I love your body and you make me... you make me forget, at least for a little while, all the reasons I can't have you.  Sometimes when we're together I get so lost in my love for you it's like we live in some dream world and I forget the reasons it can't last."

He limped to the dresser, his leg clearly bothering him, and got the bottle of medicine.  Delaney watched as he pulled out the stopper and took a swig of it before putting it back.  He moved slowly to the couch and dropped onto it, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

"Vincent?... Are you... are you alright?"

He didn't answer her.  Delaney slid to the edge of the bed and watched him closely.  At last, he made a noise something like a groan, and sat up again but didn't meet her eyes.  Delaney bit her lip and felt suddenly guilty.

"Is this my fault?" she asked quietly, "Your pain, is it because... because I kept you up all night and we were..."

"No," he answered without looking up, "It has nothing to do with you.  I don't want to deal with my pain right now on top of things with us so I took some of the medicine.  It doesn't mean anything."

Delaney dropped her gaze feeling as if he'd reprimanded her.  Before either of them could say anything else there was a knock at the door.  Vincent rested his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.  Seeing he wasn't going to do anything, Delaney hurried and pulled on his robe before calling for the person to come in.

"Good morning my Lady," Mrs. Crouch smiled and nodded to her before doing the same to Vincent, "My Lord."

She came in carrying a package wrapped in paper and set it on the end of the bed before she began to untie the string around it.  Delaney looked in confusion between the housekeeper and her husband but didn't find answers with either of them.

"What's going on?" she asked nervously, "What's this?"

"Oh was it a surprise?" Mrs. Crouch looked towards Vincent with worry, "I'm sorry my Lord Harris just told me to bring it in and help Lady Adair to dress."

Vincent still didn't say anything or move to lift his head so the older woman looked to Delaney with concern.

"It's alright," Delaney answered quickly, not wanting to drag the poor woman into their troubles, "What is it you have?"

"Oh, it's a beautiful dress, my Lady," Mrs. Crouch smiled, "Harris said Lord Adair wanted him to ride into town this morning at first light and get it from the dressmakers.  Luckily they still had your measurements so they were able to alter one to fit you that they already had together."

Delaney watched as the older woman lifted a dark blue gown from the cloth wrapping and held it up for her to see.  Mrs. Crouch looked very pleased with it so Delaney forced herself to smile for the older woman's sake.

"Come," the housekeeper said, "Since Ms. Bird isn't available I will help you dress."

Delaney glanced at her husband and saw he'd lifted his head only far enough to let his chin rest on his palms.  There was a light knock at the door that was still open and Harris let himself in without waiting.  He barely paid any attention to the duchess, his eyes going instead to the scarred duke who was sitting shirtless on the couch.

"Did you talk to her?"

Vincent looked up at him in annoyance, "Leave it alone Harris."

"Vince you can't keep hiding this from her.  She'll be heartbroken when she finds out you've..."

"She's heartbroken now" he glared, "knowing things are even worse than she thought won't help anything."

"That's not true.  It will help her.  She will want to stay with you and help take care of you."

"We don't know how long it's going to take.  I don't want her to waste her time here nursing a dying man."

"You're not just some dying man Vince you're her husband and she loves you deeply."

"I'm not discussing this with you anymore," Vincent stood, "I know what's best for my wife."

"Obviously you don't because it's not this."

"Get out," Vincent hissed, glaring at the other man.

Harris frowned at him for a moment before pulling a second bottle of medicine from his pocket and setting it on the small table between them.

"Fine," he said, "Here's this.  But this is all we have left and you know Opal said she wouldn't be able to bring us more for at least a week."

"I don't care," Vincent snatched the bottle from the table, glancing towards the divider Delaney was dressing behind to make sure she didn't see it, "After she's gone it won't matter.  I can go without it for a while if I have to."

"You're going to need it even more once she's gone," Harris argued as he watched his friend take another drink of the medicine, "You haven't been... exerting yourself like this in weeks.  You're going to be in a lot of pain and..."

"I deal with it," Vincent snapped, his eyes flashing with anger "Now leave."

Harris glared right back at him but Delaney came out from behind the divider at that moment now fully dressed.  Harris glanced at her before turning and quickly leaving.  Delaney glanced between him and her husband, concerned they were fighting again.

Vincent's eyes met hers for a moment before he walked to his dresser, barely limping at all now, and pulled a new shirt from the drawer.  She watched him pull it on, still admiring his body, but now things felt different.  He felt different.

"The dress is a bit too big but it still looks lovely," Mrs. Crouch said with forced cheerfulness as she looked at Delaney, obviously sensing her master's unpleasant mood.  She swept up their dirty clothes from the floor on her way out, leaving them alone again.

Delaney stood awkwardly, not sure what to do or say now.  She watched as her husband finished dressing on his own and she wondered if Harris wasn't helping him because of their fighting.  For a moment she considered asking about it again but decided against it.  Things were already tense enough between them without bringing up issues he was having with someone else.

Finally, Vincent stood in front of the shattered mirror, looking at his distorted reflection around the web of cracks.  Every day he was looking more and more monstrous.  His skin was so hot now his marks were almost always their darkest red.  If he didn't take enough medicine he hobbled around like some wretched, cursed, beast.

Yes, this was all he had to do when he wavered on sending her away.  Look at himself in the mirror.  She didn't deserve this.  She deserved so much better.

He turned to look at her where she stood framed by the sunlight shining in through the windows behind her.  She was so beautiful.

"Please," he said quietly, "Please can we not fight about this again?  I won't change my mind.  Can we part on... on the best terms we can manage?"

Delaney stared at him.  This was the man she loved but at the same time, he was someone else.  Something was different about Vincent now and she couldn't see quite what it was but whatever it was, it was enough to drive a wedge between them.

She had begged, pleaded, and cried as much as either of them could stand and she knew she couldn't do it anymore.  This was it.  If Vincent truly didn't want her here then there was nothing she could do.  Holding out hopes for those letters to change his mind had done nothing.  She would leave him as he wanted.

Delaney knew without a doubt though that she would never have the life he dreamed for her.  She would never love another man or have a family.  If she couldn't be with him, she didn't want to be with anyone.

Besides, even when she left, she would never truly give up hope that he would change his mind.  She would always dream that she would wake up to find him there in bed beside, telling her he was wrong and he loved her.

For now though, she would do as he wanted.  She would leave.