Chapter 253 - To Say Goodbye

Delaney cried herself to sleep in her husband's arms.  Vincent held her and despite how exhausted he was he barely slept.  Instead, he stayed awake and waged a war against himself in his mind.

One half of him wanted to just stay with Delaney no matter the consequences.  The other half knew that would be selfish.  For although he would get to spend the rest of his days with the woman he loved, she would have to watch the man she loved slowly and painfully fade away until he died.  He couldn't sentence her to that fate.

He must have dozed off because the next thing he knew he was opening his eyes to early morning sunshine.

Delaney was still fast asleep beside him so he eased from the bed and dressed.  The pain from the night before was only a small amount less so he tried to move slowly and gently.

He slipped from their room and down the stairs until he saw a servant.  He felt relief when he saw it was Ms. Bird.  She looked surprised when she saw him.

"Good morning my lord.  Can I help you with something?  Is Lady Adair alright?"

"She's fine," Vincent assured the older woman, "But she'll be leaving today."

"Oh, wonderful!  I can get her things packed and ready.  How long does she plan to be gone?  And where exactly is she going?"

"She's going back to her Aunt and Uncle's home," Vincent said quietly, "To live."

Ms. Bird looked as if he had slapped her.

"T-To live?  But-but why?"

"Because I cannot give her the life she deserves.  I can't give her a child and a family.  She deserves a full, happy life Ms. Bird so I'm going to make sure she gets it even if it's not with me."

"But-But my Lord..."

"I don't want to discuss it further," he was quick to cut off her protests, "Lady Adair already knows although I know she's not happy about it.  I must ask you to do something for me now."

"What's that?"

Vincent took a deep breath and sighed.

"Go with her.  She's going to be upset and hurting and she will need someone to talk to.  You've been with us almost from the start so you will understand what she talks about.  Go with her and support her and I will make sure you're paid well."

To his surprise, the old maid frowned at him.

"I will go Lord Adair, and I don't need any bribery to do so.  I will go with her because I love my mistress and I am loyal to her.  I would never leave her unless there was no other option."

Vincent met her gaze and knew she was trying to scold him without coming right out and saying the words.  He had to keep himself from smiling.  This was exactly why he wanted the woman to go with Delaney.  Ms. Bird would be a fierce and loyal ally for her.  The maid wouldn't ever let her mistress get into any trouble if there was anything at all she could do to prevent it.

"Thank you," he said quietly, "I know Edgewood has become your home and I wouldn't ask you to leave it if I didn't think it was important."

"You didn't need to ask me, my Lord.  Where my Lady goes, I will go."

-

When Delaney woke up she stretched and reached out instinctively to feel if Vincent was there beside her.  When she felt her fingertips brush against soft, warm, skin she smiled and rolled over to face him.

She found her husband wide awake and watching her closely.  A slight smile curved his lips when his eyes met hers.

"What are you doing?" she asked, amused.

"Watching you sleep I suppose."

She giggled now, "That must be boring.  Why would you do that?"

"Because," he said quietly, "I love you."

Delaney met his serious green gaze and let her eyes sweep over his handsome scarred face.  She wanted to lock this memory of him in her mind forever.

"I love you too."

His gaze drifted over her now, soaking up all the little details about her and treasuring each of them.  The sun was shining in through the window and washing her in golden light.  He reached a hand forward, taking one of her chestnut locks and lightly wrapping it around his finger before letting it go again.

"You're so beautiful."

Delaney caught his hand and brought it to her lips.  She placed a gentle kiss on it and felt tears sting in her eyes as the familiar ache returned to her heart.

"You don't have to do this you know," she whispered, "I promise I will be perfectly happy here like this forever with you."

Vincent dropped his gaze, "I'm sure that seems true now my love... and maybe it always would be... but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I stole away your chance to have a family and later on you regretted it."

"I would never regret being with you."

"I would hope not," he sighed, "but I'm not willing to risk it.  And I'm not willing to take anything more away from you than I already have."

Tears slipped over Delaney's cheeks as she moved, getting up.

"You've never taken anything away from me until now."

-

Ms. Bird came a short time later with a cup of tea and a little sweet cake.  Delaney only took a sip of her tea before going to get dressed to face the terrible day ahead.

It was while she was getting dressed that she discovered something that made the day even worse.

Again, she was not pregnant.

Despite everything Vincent had said in the woods the night before, she hadn't been able to completely give up hope that she might be blessed with a miracle.  Discovering now that even that last shred of hope was gone, Delaney sank to the floor, dropping her face into her hands.

She was too tired and defeated to cry much now though.  After a few tears escaped, the ache in her chest was so painful she felt she might not be able to keep breathing.  She sat staring straight ahead at nothing while Ms. Bird fluttered around her nervously fussing and afraid her mistress might simply shatter in front of her.

Delaney felt a strange numbness.  It was as if her mind couldn't process all the terrible things.  Her maid half helped, half dragged her up back to her feet again.  She talked almost nonstop while she finished dressing her mistress but Delaney heard none of it.  It was as if she was underwater.  The weight of everything happening to her was going to drown her.

Her maid was finishing her hair when men came and got her trunks, carrying them away downstairs.  Ms. Bird rushed off to get something she forgot so Delaney was left alone at last.  She stood in the middle of the room and slowly turned, taking it all in.  This was the bedroom she had shared with the man she loved.  This was the first place in her life that she had ever felt truly safe.

The pain in her chest only grew as she walked to the door and took one last look before closing it quietly behind her.

Walking slowly down the familiar hallway, Delaney thought about all the nights Vincent had walked her to her bedroom after dinner, even before they were sharing the same room.  She looked at all the paintings and tapestries that she had come to love so much.

Stopping before a small painting of Vincent's father, she wondered if he would have done what his son was doing.  Obviously not.  It was well beyond a year of marriage before Vincent was born.  Delaney also couldn't imagine Violet Adair letting something like this happen to her.  She was strong.

The pain continued to grow as she walked to the top of the stairs and looked down to see the entryway was crowded with servants standing awkwardly together waiting for her.  Surprise momentarily replaced her pain as she walked down the steps and they all came forward to meet her.

"We just wanted to tell you goodbye," a footman spoke up first, "You've been a wonderful mistress."

"You will be greatly missed, My Lady."

"We're so sorry things worked out this way."

Delaney stood quietly thanking them, shaking hands, and hugging a few.  She tried her best to express how much they all meant to her but couldn't quite get her words together.  The servants smiled warmly at her and seemed to understand without her needing to explain.

Once they had all filed out to go back to their work, Delaney thought she stood alone again at the bottom of the steps.  When she looked up and across the room though, she found there was someone watching her.

Vincent stood in the doorway to his study, leaning against the doorframe with one hand absently rubbing the back of his neck.  When their eyes met, neither moved at first.  Delaney soon couldn't stand looking at him any longer and turned towards the doors.  Vincent moved quickly to catch her.

"Delaney wait," he reached out and caught her arm.

She felt so numb she didn't even try to pull away.

"Wait," he repeated quietly.  He stared at her and she could see the pain in his eyes.  He opened and closed his mouth but no words came out.  At last, he closed it again and dropped his gaze.

"Please don't do this," Delaney whispered to him.

When he looked up and met her eyes now there were tears in his.

"I'm so sorry... But I love you so much I know I have to... I wish you could understand."

"Well I can't," she said quietly, "I will never understand how you could send away the woman you claim to love."

"I do love you," he whispered, his voice scratchy, "That's why I know I have to do this."

Delaney stared at him for one more long moment before nodding.  She leaned up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning away.

"Fine," she said coldly, "Goodbye Vincent."

She didn't wait for him and didn't stop when he called her name.  She walked quickly down the steps and let a footman help her up into the carriage before closing the door.  She rapped on the roof, letting them know she was ready to leave.

As the carriage drove away, Delaney looked back at the only place she had ever felt like she belonged.  The only place she had ever considered her home.  And standing on the top of the steps was her husband.  The only man she would ever love.

Watching them disappear behind her, the pain that had been growing in Delaney's chest finally cracked.  She sunk down across the plus carriage seat and sobbed until she was shaking and she found it hard to catch her breath.

Edgewood was gone...

Vincent was gone...