Chapter 237 - Every Moment I'm With You

It turned out Cora did not have a lot to tell Delaney about the house.  While she had been away, Mrs. Crouch had simply taken the reins and managed things on her own, much like she had before Vincent was married but after he had already sent his mother to live in her own home.  Learning this and still being annoyed by Cora pointing out Vincent's scars, Delaney excused herself to go meet with the housekeeper and catch up on things.

That opened her up to a very busy afternoon.  There were repairs that needed approval and menus to go over.  Lists of things that needed to be purchased or replaced.  Not to mention they were in need of more servants so they would need to be interviewed and hired or sent away.

Delaney actually felt relieved to be pulled back into her life as the mistress of Edgewood.  She had missed it while she was away and now the juggling of tasks left her feeling pleasantly exhausted.

Vincent and Miles also kept themselves locked away most of the day going over all the decisions and things Mason had made while they were away.  After their easy time in the City House while Delaney and Ian were regaining their strength and Vincent's responsibilities were being handled, she felt it was good for them both to get back to work again.

That night at dinner they all laughed and talked together.  They told embarrassing childhood stories and revealed secrets that only made the others laugh harder.  Delaney smiled and took in the scene in front of her.  Things were perfect now with their brother and sister-in-law.  She hoped they would always be able to get together and talk and laugh like this, even when they all had children.  If Delaney and Vincent had children.

Cora began to get tired before the rest of them but Miles, being a good husband, took her on his arm and went up to bed with her.  Delaney and Vincent both smiled fondly after them as they watched them leave.

The early spring weather had left it still a bit cool outside but not cold enough to be uncomfortable so the Duke and Duchess decided to take a stroll around the grounds before going to bed.

The torches were lighting their way enough for them to navigate but there was also a bright full moon in the sky and more twinkling stars than anyone would ever be able to count.  The animals and insects in the woods were singing their nightly songs and the air was damp with a smell of rain and good dirt.

Delaney kept her hand tucked in her husband's strong, warm arm as they walked.  A smile floated on her face, so happy simply being there with him.  When she glanced up at him, he met her gaze with a loving look of his own.  She giggled and they continued on.

The night would have been perfect had Vincent's leg not been so clearly causing him pain and his limp getting steadily worse.  Delaney considered cutting their walk short and heading in but instead decided to broach the subject of the medicine with him.

"My love, where is the medicine Opal made for you?"

Vincent glanced at her in surprise, "In my pocket actually.  Why do you ask?"

Delaney hesitated, "I'm just really happy here with you but I can tell your leg is hurting you.  I thought you might take just a bit of it so you can enjoy the evening as I am."

"I am enjoying being here with you my lady.  I can ignore the... the issues with my leg.  Is my walking bothering you?"

"No of course not," she looked up at him in surprise, "I don't care about how you walk except for the fact that I know it's causing you a lot of pain right now."

"My wounds are always causing me pain," he said, "You shouldn't let it worry you, or else you'll always be worried."

"Well then I'll always be worried," she frowned and pulled him to a stop, "Why can't you just take a sip of the medicine so you don't have to be in so much pain right now?"

He sighed loudly and turned to face her, "To what end my love?  You've known since the day we were married that the poison inside me causes me to always be in pain.  It never goes away.  It only increases or decreases.  So why waste this medicine now when I can manage the pain by working to ignore it?  And if I take it to ease off the pain now then what?  Do I keep sipping it all day and night in an attempt to keep the pain at bay?  Do I live in the state of my muscles and reflexes being slow just so I can deal with as little of the pain myself as possible?"

Delaney shrunk back under the unexpected assault.

"I-I don't mean that you have to take it all day or even every day... I just mean for times like this.  Times with me when things are special or good..."

"My silly wife," he took her cheek in his hand, "All my time with you is special.  I value every moment I'm with you because you are the love of my life."

Delaney felt her heart ache with his words and she bit her lip for a moment as she looked up at him.

"I value every moment I'm with you as well," she said quietly, "But my love sometimes it's hard for me to enjoy it fully because I'm too worried about the pain that you're in.  Especially when I can tell that it's worse like it is now.  Can you just... Can you just take the medicine for both of us?  It will take away some of your pain and take away some of my worry about your pain...  It's a nice break... Even if it's just for a little while."

Standing in the moonlight, her husband stared at her for a long while, taking in the sight of her before him and thinking through her words.  At last, he sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out the little bottle.  He took out the stopper and took a sip of it before returning it to its place.

As Delaney watched, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, letting the medicine wash over him.  When he opened his eyes again he smiled at her and she giggled, leaning up to steal a kiss.  He caught her and held her to him instead, giving her a long, slow, kiss.  When he let her go again her knees were weak and she clung to his strong chest for a moment as her head stopped spinning.

A chuckle rumbled through him and he took her hand, tucking it into his arm again.  They continued on their walk, his limp greatly improved which improved his mood even more.  Delaney relaxed and let her happiness sweep her away.

-

Eventually, they ended up in their bedroom.  They helped one another out of their clothes and under the covers.  Vincent took his wife in his arms and kissed her, moving over her until she seemed like a small fragile thing beneath his strong muscled body.

He broke away from her lips and leaned up for a moment to take in the full view of her beautiful body against the white sheets in the moonlight.  How completely perfect she was compared to his disfigured and broken body.  He suddenly felt almost guilty for being here with her.  As if it somehow dimmed her splendor.

"What's wrong?" she whispered in concern, her hands slowly moving to try to cover herself, "Is there something wrong with me?"

He quickly caught her wrists and dropped back down over her, pinning her arms on each side of her head.

"There is absolutely not one thing wrong with you," he murmured, moving to kiss her slender throat, "Quite the opposite in fact.  I looked at you and for a moment I think maybe you are just a dream.  Kissing you though... and making love to you... that's how I make sure you're really here."

Delaney giggled and leaned her head back, exposing more of the pale skin of her throat.  "Go ahead then, my Lord,"  she whispered,  "Make all the tests you need."

"Oh I will my Lady," he said in a rough voice, "I assure you I will."

-

Later on once Delaney was asleep, Vincent lay on his back, staring at the ceiling with her partially draped over his chest.  He loved his wife.  He loved her so much sometimes he thought his heart was actually aching from it.  They had had such a perfect night.  He wished he could have a lifetime more of nights like this with her.

But it wasn't meant to be.  Not for him.

It was becoming harder and harder to ignore his pain and to push it from his mind.  He didn't know how much longer he would be able to hide the extent of it from Delaney.  He didn't want her to know.  He would get more of this medicine and sneak drinks of it all day if he had to.

It wouldn't be that much longer that he would have to hide it from her though and that hurt even worse.  He had checked his books that afternoon and there were two months.  Two more months until they reach their one year and at this point, he was sure he wouldn't be able to give her a baby.

Pain stabbed his heart as if it was a physical blade and he closed his eyes against the burning tears he felt there.  He forced himself to swallow it down.  The last thing he would want would be for her to wake up and see he was upset and ask why.

It was going to kill him to send her away but he knew he had to, especially now.  There was no future for her there with him.  At least not a happy one.  As his pain grew worse in the time ahead he knew that was something he would be able to think about that would make him happy.  He would be able to fight the pain into the back of his mind and instead let his imagination run wild thinking up beautiful happy futures she could have.

It broke his heart that they would not have a future together... but at least he could do everything possible to make sure she had a happy future after he was gone.