Chapter 43 - Going To Bed

"You-you don't have to walk me to my room," Delaney forced a smile, "I know the way."

"I didn't think you were going to get lost," he gave a slight smile before standing and pulling back her seat for her.

Delaney's mind raced. She hadn't stopped to think about her wedding night with Vincent. Now that it was here she felt panic. Selina had asked her what she would do when this time came but she'd never come up with a plan.

Their arrangement was they would only stay married if she had a child or was expecting a child before they had been married for one year. She hadn't really thought about what that implied.

They would have to go to bed together if he was expecting to try to have a child.

"Really Vincent," she laughed nervously, "I'm sure there are things you need to see to. I can get myself to bed."

"Nonsense," he held out his arm for her, "If there are things that need my attention they can be dealt with later this evening or tomorrow."

She swallowed and took his arm. His limp was there now, almost as bad as it had been before. Glancing up, she saw the muscles in his clenched jaw twitching.

There was no point in mentioning his pain. It hadn't gone well for her earlier and now that they seemed to be on good terms again she didn't want to ruin it.

At least not yet.

She couldn't imagine turning him away from her bed was going to go well. What if he wouldn't be turned away? He was just as strong now as he'd been before the war, if not more so. If he wanted to force himself on her there would be nothing she could do to stop him.

They came to the stairs and Delaney bit her lip. He'd pushed himself to walk at a steady pace despite his pain but she knew that the stairs were the real challenge.

"Vincent," she said quietly, "You don't have to..."

"I'm fine," he stopped her before she could continue, "They're just stairs. I've climbed them all my life."

Delaney pushed down her argument and continued with him. She felt the muscles in his arm beneath his sleeve flex taut as if fighting to keep the pain away. He moved at a steady pace up the stairs but she wished he'd slow down.

If he went slower his pain would lessen and it would give her more time to think about what she was going to do to get out of this terrible situation.

She supposed she could always run. That was really her only chance to get away. But if Vincent caught her she knew she would regret it.

Besides, where would she run to? Edgewood was far from civilization surrounded by forests filled with all imaginable dangers.

At the top of the stairs, he paused for only a moment, trying to slow his quickened breathing. Walking towards her room, Delaney's panic grew more and more.

They came to a stop and she quickly took her arm from his and moved to the door. Standing between Vincent and her bedroom, she forced a small smile to her lips.

"Thank you for seeing me to my room," she said, her voice sounding loud in her ears, "You should get some rest now though."

He frowned and his eyes passed over her. "What's wrong?" he questioned.

"What? Nothing," her smile faltered, "I just know we're both tired from the day."

His frown deepened as he watched her, the scars cutting across his face making the expression look even more hostile.

Delaney felt the cold iron of the door handle in her hand and ached to turn it, run inside, and slam the door behind her, locking it and perhaps sliding her couch up against it for good measure.

Suddenly the frown slipped from his face, turning to sad surprise. "You are afraid I'm going to come in your room," he remarked, green eyes flickering over her face.

Delaney opened her mouth to argue but no words came out. She wracked her mind for any other argument.

"You think because it's our wedding night I will expect to come to bed with you."

She didn't bother trying to lie, "Don't you?"

There was a flash of surprise across his face, realizing he'd guessed correctly. It was almost instantly replaced with a look of disgust.

"I will not come to your bed unwelcome," he shot, "I won't force myself on you, Delaney."

Delaney had to look away now, feeling her cheeks warm.

"God," he hissed, stepping back, "You're honestly afraid of me."

"No," she shook her head, "I'm not-I'm not afraid of you I just..."

"You are Delaney I can see it."

Looking up at him, she saw the anger and hurt across his face.

"Am I truly so repulsive to you?" he demanded, voice cracking.

She started to reply but he didn't give her the chance.

"It is our wedding night," he snapped, "I have the right to spend the night with you. Hell, as your husband I have the right to spend any night with you I please!"

"Vincent," she tried, "I wasn't trying to make you angry. I'm just afraid. It would be my first time and..."

"Don't you think I know that? Do you actually think me such a monster that I would force you to bed with me after everything that's happened? Knowing my appearance can be so frightening? Knowing you're scared here to begin with?"

His marks on his face and neck looked as angry as he sounded. Delaney felt the stab of regret, realizing she really had expected the worst of him. She bit her lip and fought to keep from breaking into tears.

He ran his hand through his black hair, pushing it back out of his face before pressing his fist to his mouth. He stepped back again and looked away from her. Clenching and unclenching his other fist.

She could see how angry he was now and didn't know what to do. She had made such a mistake.

"Vincent," she whispered, taking a step towards him, "I'm sorry..."

"Don't speak!" he shouted so abruptly she jumped, "Do not speak to me Delaney!"

Tears made their way to her eyes despite her best efforts and she backed up until her back hit her door. He paced back and forth, running his hands over his face and through his hair.

"You think I'm a monster," his voice came out rough as he turned to stare accusingly at her, "I've never done anything to hurt you!"

"I'm sorry Vincent! I was just afraid that..."

"I can't do this," he snapped then, shaking his head, "I can't do this."

Before she could say anything else he turned and stormed farther down the hall to the next door which must have been his rooms. He wrenched the door open and slammed it closed once he was inside.

The loud crack it made echoed throughout the castle.

Delaney stared after him for a moment, hoping he might come back and let her apologize.

Dropping her face into her hands, collapsing against her bedroom door, she felt guilt crashing inside her. She had been so stupid. Of course, he would never force her to do anything. She'd known that. Why had she let her fear run away with her?

Things had been good at dinner. They could've stayed good. But instead, she'd ruined everything.

"My lady?" the whisper startled Delaney and she looked up through tear-filled eyes to see the concerned face of Mrs. Crouch and the fearful face of Ivy standing together over her.

"Are you alright?" Mrs. Crouch tried to look her over from her place on the floor.

"He didn't.... he didn't raise a hand against you did he?" Ivy whispered before Mrs. Crouch shot her a furious look.

Delaney shook her head and choked back her tears. "I did something foolish," she whispered, "I made him angry."

"Oh no, my lady," the older woman shook her head, "I'm sure it is just a misunderstanding. Lord Adair has been more... more agitated of late. I'm sure whatever it is he'll be past it by morning."

Ivy crossed her arms over her chest and looked towards Vincent's bedroom door anxiously.

"Should we go inside?" she whispered urgently looking towards Delaney's door now.

"Yes let's do that," Mrs. Crouch held out her hands and took Delaney's, helping her to her feet. Ivy opened the door for them and hurried into the safety of the room beyond.

Ivy helped Delaney out of her gown while Mrs. Crouch straightened a few things around the room. At last, when she was done the housekeeper looked at her with an encouraging smile.

"Is there anything else we can do for you, my Lady?"

Delaney said no even though she wanted to beg them not to leave her alone.

"Things will be better in the morning," Mrs. Crouch promised before closing the bedroom door behind them.

She was wrong though. Delaney knew things would definitely not be better.