Chapter 235 - Five percent

"So when do you plan on telling him about this?" Shi Enxi asked, looking at Fan Xiao Yao, who finally calmed down and was sitting at the edge of the bed.

Fan Xiao Yao hanged her head low, looking at her hands as she fiddled with her fingers. "I don't think I can..."

Shi Enxi sighed, "How much do you trust, Huang Li?" 

"I married him so I trust him with my life." She answered without hesitation.

"Then? What seems to be the problem?"

"But I can't... give him a child..."

"Do you think his love for you is that trivial?" Shi Enxi raised a brow. Even if she didn't want to think of it that way, after what he said to her earlier, his love might just be. It was his fault for giving them a chance to doubt.

Huang Li and Fan Xiao Yao's relationship were short. They rushed their marriage as well... At least that was what Shi Enxi thought but she could also be mistaken. The one at fault in the first place was Hana. She created that opportunity to try and break the couple apart.

"No... but..."

"But what?" She crossed her arms. "You won't know what he thinks not until you talk it with him."

Fan Xiao Yao became quiet for a while. Shi Enxi was right but it wasn't going to be easy for her to tell him. She needed time to do that.

Shi Enxi stood from her seat, "I should go back now. You don't have to discuss it with him right now if you don't want to but just be sure to tell him one day." She turned and walked towards the door. She paused from her tracks upon remembering something, "Also... Don't trust others so easily, Xiao Yao. Don't invite strangers to your home and call them friends." 

Without waiting for her reply, Shi Enxi pulled the door open and left the room.

Fan Xiao Yao was left there, dumbfounded. What did Shi Enxi meant by that? Was she pertaining to... Hana? What about Hana?

If Shi Enxi was wary about the other woman, that could only mean... Hana was not a person to be trusted. But Fan Xiao Yao found it hard to doubt her especially when she was a nice friend.

A knock was heard, snapping her out of her thoughts. She lifted her head and looked as the door was pushed open. Huang Li entered, looking at her with a worried expression in his eyes.

She pursed her lips and clenched her fists as she started back into his eyes. 

"How are you feeling?" He gently asked as he closed into her.

She dropped her gaze back to her hands and replied with a whispering tone, "Better."

She felt the space beside her sunk as Huang Li took his seat there.

"You're lying." He reached out and held her hand.

She bit her lower lip and held his hand back. She heaved out a sigh before resting her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes as she did. "Huang Li... Do you want a child?"

He was caught off-guard by her question, making him turn his head to her, "Are you pregnant?" He could fee his heart began to race and he somehow felt excited to hear an answer from her.

She squeezed his hand and opened her eyes just to turn and look at him. She felt a pang in her c.h.e.s.t when she saw his hopeful gaze. How could she further keep silent if he looked at her that way? It only made it harder for her to tell him the truth but she didn't have a choice. She couldn't lie about something like this. She didn't want to betray his feelings anymore so she sighed and finally said, "No."

"Oh..."

She saw the disappointment in his eyes. 

"It's okay, we can just try again."

"No." She said once again. "No matter how much we try, I will never be able to give you a child." She was amazed by how straight she said it to him. She didn't even falter or her eyes became teary. Maybe it was because she had already cried her heart out earlier? But for some reason... she felt a void forming inside her when told him that.

Huang Li was shocked. No words were said. He was speechless. 

She looked at their hands before releasing his. "Why don't you look for someone else who can give you a child?" She didn't care if she was being emotional. She didn't expect that she could spurt out those cold words so easily. "You're attracted to Hana, right?"

Once again, he was caught off-guard by her words.

"I heard your conversation with Xiao Xi earlier," she smiled bitterly. "I can't give you a child. You deserve better. You-"

"I don't care!" He cut her off, gritting his teeth. "Do you think that I wanted a child so badly? I rather not have one if I'm just going to lose you in the end!"

It was Fan Xiao Yao's turn to be surprised by Huang Li's sudden outburst.

"I'm not going to risk our relationship just because of a child and that bitch! I admit that one second was a mistake. The fact that I allowed someone else to enter my mind was a mistake but I'm not going to be caught off-guard by her anymore!" He grabbed both her hands roughly and looked at her pleadingly, "You matter most to me, Xiao Yao. I don't care if you can't give me a child. As long as I have you by my side, that matters the most to me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Only you. So please... don't even think of leaving me... If you think that you're replaceable, you're wrong. No one can replace you."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. She thought that she had no more tears left and yet, another dam broke inside her. His words weren't enough reassurance. 'Action speaks louder than words.' This was a common and very used saying when it came to relationsh.i.p.s but even if that saying was true. That wasn't enough. Action can never be enough since words are used as a confirmation.

This may be their first problem in their marriage life but Huang Li wasn't going to let that problem break them and Fan Xiao Yao wasn't going to give in to it. They were each other's pillars.

"My head's aching..." Fan Xiao Yao cried and complained, "And you're making me cry even more! I don't want to cry anymore! My eyes are so salty! So ugly! So puffy! Stop making me cry!" 

"I'll get you some painkillers." He stood up and was about to get her medicine but was stopped when Fan Xiao Yao grabbed his wrist.

"Do you... really don't want to have a child?" She sniffled. "X-Xiao Xi said that... There are ways..."

He looked at her and his eyes softened, "I don't care but if you really want one, no matter how expensive it is, we can try. There are a few ways."

"Like?" She raised her head and looked at him with her red and puffy eyes.

"In vitro fertilization and artificial insemination."

Her tears finally came to stop and she ended up gasping as she asked, "Are we going to have an artificial baby then?!"

"No," he chuckled lightly. "It's still going to be your egg and my s.p.e.r.m. Depending on your case, we will have to check what's available for us."

"The doctor said that... I have anovulation... I can't produce egg..." She hanged her head low. "Without one, I can never get pregnant."

"No, not never." He knelt in front of her and looked at her with a small smile. "It's not nearly impossible but 5% of women with anovulation can still get pregnant in the future."

"Five percent... That low?"

"It may be low but it only means that we still have a chance. That alone is enough." No matter how small the chances are, as long as there's one, it was enough to hope for them.

Fan Xiao Yao didn't want to put her hopes up and expect but if it was not entirely impossible then why did she waste all those tears earlier? She truly was an idiot. It was her fault for not listening entirely to what the doctor told her earlier as well.

"I almost forgot that... My husband is actually a doctor..." If she has told him about her case earlier, then he could have further explained it to her. Instead, she allowed her emotions to get ahead of her.

Thinking back to her overreaction earlier, she suddenly felt embarrassed that her face became red. She wanted to hide so badly right now.

"You missed your lunch earlier. You have to eat first before drinking the painkiller." Huang Li said, as he cupped her blushing cheek. He didn't find anything weird when he saw how red her face was. He thought that maybe it was all because of crying too much. "Do you want me to bring the food to you?"

She nodded a bit, "Okay..."