Chapter 192 - Walk me down the aisle

The psychiatric ward was once called an asylum, yet it was no place to seek asylum, not the true meaning of the word. It should be a place of refuge from the storms that hurt the mind, a place of love and sanctuary, a place to be welcomed into arms that would hold one until the entire self was soothed, content simply to dwell in those moments with the person, being their anchor, the pillar in their hurricane. 

The b.a.r.e walls and b.a.r.e floors as reflections of what the place really was, as if the building itself was trying to tell the staff what they had built and perpetuated. Then there were the windowless rooms, the lack of real light, the doors without handles for the patients with worse conditions. It was the world's most obvious constructed metaphor for emotional indifference. 

Gu Haiyang, Fan Xiao Yao's mother was located in a nicer room with a room that showed the beautiful scenery of the garden.

When Huang Li and Fan Xiao Yao entered the room, they saw a woman, sitting in her wheelchair, staring out of the window, not moving an inch. It was as if she had been paralyzed in her seat. It was just like how Fan Xiao Yao remembered in her last visit which was almost five years ago.

"Mom..." She called, carefully approaching her mother.

She received no response or reaction. 

Fan Xiao Yao took a seat on the chair beside the window that was facing her.

Her mother had a blank look on her face, her eyes empty. Her almond-colored hair was kept short, until her shoulder. Her skin was as pale as snow but it was just like how Fan Xiao Yao remembered her. Her mother was always pale-looking even if she was fine.

The sweet smell of jasmine lingered in the air and it came from the bouquet of jasmine that Huang Li was holding. Jasmine was Gu Haiyang's favorite flowers after all.

Fan Xiao Yao inwardly sighed upon seeing her mother's lack of reaction. She tried her best not to cry even though it was hard for her to see her like that. "Mom, I want to introduce someone to you. He is my fiance."

Huang Li only approached and stood on his lover's side after receiving a glance from Fan Xiao Yao. "Hello, Mrs. Fan. My name is Huang Li."

It was as if they were talking to a wall. Every word they said never reached her mother.

"I heard from Yaoyao that Jasmine's are your favorite flowers. Let me put this in a vase." He walked towards the empty vase that was on top of a drawer beside the bed. 

Meanwhile, Fan Xiao Yao remained on her seat, staring at her mother. She reached out and held her hand, feeling her mother's warmth through it. Her lips trembled as her eyes became glossy. "Mom... I'm sorry for not visiting you..." She lowered her head. "I'm really sorry for being a bad daughter to you..."

Huang Li who heard her words slightly turned to look at Fan Xiao Yao. He couldn't do anything at the moment since this was her time with her mother. He shouldn't disturb them.

She wiped the tears that formed with her free hand and chuckled a bit. "As you can see... Guess I'm still a crybaby huh?" She gently rubbed the back of her hand with her thumb. "You know mom, I became an actress and I even won lots of big awards!" She laughed a bit. " But I decided to stop since I'm going to get married soon... I really wish that... you can come... to my wedding. If it's possible, I really want you to walk me down the aisle."

Since Fan Xiao Yao was looking at their hands, she wasn't able to catch how Gu Haiyang's left brow twitched for a second.

"We actually already bought a house. You can live with us." She smiled. "Oh yeah if you're wondering what kind of person my fiance is, he's really kind and loving. He's a doctor too. He was working at a hospital once but he decided to build his own clinic. The townspeople love him." She chuckled as she continued to tell her mother about Huang Li. She wanted to focus on the good memories so that she won't end up crying again. "I'm pretty sure that you're curious about how I met him."

Meanwhile, Huang Li quietly left the room. Fan Xiao Yao may have told him that she wanted him to be by her side the whole time earlier but from how he saw how she was able to manage not crying out, he decided to give the mother and daughter duo some privacy.

Fan Xiao Yao continued to tell her mother what happened to her throughout the years and she stopped when her mother finally turned her gaze at her. Gu Haiyang turned, but too slowly to be normal.

What was different this time in her eyes was that... it was no longer empty?

Words left her. Fan Xiao Yao stared into those bright black eyes that twinkled with light in them. She could even see her own reflection in her mother's eyes. Her mother was looking at her... She was looking at her. Her heart fell silent.

Gu Haiyang saw the shock register on her daughter's face. The side of her lips slowly curled up, a small smile played on her lips. "Yao... Yao..." Her voice was a bit raspy, her throat dry. It was as if she was learning how to talk again.

Fan Xiao Yao's face washed blank with confusion like her brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from her wide eyes. Every muscle of her body just froze before a grin crept onto her face, it soon stretched from one side to the other showing every single tooth. "M-mom?"

Her mother blinked slowly, life filled her eyes as she started more at her daughter. She even tried to squeeze Fan Xiao Yao's hand but she didn't have enough strength. Her body was weak because of a lack of exercise.

"Mom!" Tears were spilled as Fan Xiao Yao leaned forward and hugged her.