Chapter 4 - She Hadn’t Died (1)

Chapter 4 – She Hadn’t Died (1)

“Miss, Lord Alte is here.”

“Really? Then, I’ll be right out.”

A young lady murmured gently to her maid. But when her maid, Annie, was about to leave the room, she suddenly called out to request her for something, “Can you bring me some tea?”

Before she left, Annie bowed politely with a promise to bring the young lady’s tea as soon as possible.

As the door closed shut behind her, the young lady exhaled deeply. It was her, Goyo Rubiet, herself who had called Terio here. However, despite that, she couldn’t remain calm and composed when the time to meet him came. In fact, she was very nervous at this moment.

So, she looked into the mirror once again and tried to make sure that there was nothing lacking in her appearance.

She checked herself over again and nodded approvingly. Her brown hair cascaded down to her chest was neatly combed with not a strand out of place. The black velvet dress she wore was also not flashy, but still showed off her figure enough to attract others’ attention to her. Her make-up was a natural one that emphasized her features and made her look more charming.

Goyo thought that her appearance right now was good enough for her to go out. But even if she thought so, her body was rooted to the spot before the mirror. She couldn’t take her eyes off it. And it didn’t only happen today, but several times already.

Ever since she woke up after being ill for three days straight, Goyo had been having a hard time taking her eyes off the mirror. Perhaps it was because she felt nostalgic, but whenever she faced the mirror, she would always trace her features.

From her roundish forehead to her dark eyebrows that hid the slight gloominess on her face. It was without a doubt, a face that was too young for a thirty years old woman. And no matter how she tried, she was unable to find the familiar dark bags under her eyes, her pale complexion, and her thin cheeks that was caused by long-term insomnia.

Instead, the face that was reflected in the mirror was the face of a young woman who had just become an adult. Her 22 years old self who she didn’t ever want to see again.

****

It was Eden, the loyal butler of the House of Alte, who provided her with the silver pill.

Goyo had told him that she needed a better medicine for her blood pressure than what she had been taking regularly, so Eden brought her the silver pill.

Or so that was the reason on the surface.

After all, only Goyo knew that though the silver pill was an effective medicine for others, it was not the case for her. For her, the silver pill could only provide Goyo a good eternal rest.

Thus, she didn’t hesitate to swallow the melted silver pill on the wine and closed her eyes. Death was more peaceful than what Goyo had imagined.

It was only when her whole body was burning that she realized it was not an instantaneous end. The pain crept slowly all over her body, making her wish she could just die immediately.

It was more terrible than the flu she had after her mother’s death when she was 13 years old. The pain the vicious fever inflicted on her body right now was worse than anything she ever felt. Even counting in the pain she felt after Rubiet Family’s demise. It burned her as if a hot fire was flowing on her vein instead of blood.

Her whole body felt damp from the cold sweat and her hazy eyes were filled with tears. The pain was unbearable.

And still… she hadn’t died.

Despite the fact that her consciousness grows hazy with each passing second, Goyo could still see the hazy outlines of the ceiling and people’s shadow. And she knew that she wasn’t going to die alone like she planned.

How come? Was I discovered earlier than expected I wonder? Or perhaps the silver pill was not as effective as I thought. Or, perhaps, if it wasn’t these two reasons… did it mean he came back early…?

Within the deep dark recess of her mind, Goyo threw out hypotheses over hypotheses before she decided to stop thinking.

What did it really matter?

What really mattered was the fact that her suicide attempt ended up in failure and that she, Goyo Alte, had to continue living this weary life. At that thought, a different kind of pain ravaged her heart and mind.

And compared to the pain that was tormenting her body, this pain was one hundred fold more excruciating.

It had been five whole years since the extermination of the Rubiet Family. And that also meant she had lived with the irreversible change in her relationship with Terio for that whole five years.

At first, she had believed that time would heal the chasm between them. Just like when Terio, who previously only had Melissa in his heart and mind, had given up and returned to her. She had waited because she knew that his resentment towards her would subside in the end.

However, there was no chance for that now. Her hope had been shattered completely by his action before she knew it. Although Terio had apologized for the verbal abuse he heaped on Goyo that day Melissa died, Goyo knew that it was merely a perfunctory apology. It was not sincere at all.

And since then, Terio’s behavior towards her has become colder than winter. The way he spoke was freezing without the slightest bit of warmth. Not to mention their sexual relationship, if there was even one.

For Terio Alte, the man who had accompanied her since childhood, was gone and buried with the dead Melissa. Although she didn’t know it at the time.

It was not until a little later on, after Terio’s anger had subsided, that she really gave up everything. Because she could finally see the futileness of her effort and patience.