Chapter 119 - Vent Out Emotions

"Miss Chairperson, are you well? " Fang Xiao asks as she keeps the files on Shi Lian's desk. 

Slowly turning her eyes at Xiaoxiao, she sighs, "I am fine. Do I look knock out?" She jokes laughing faintly but Fang Xiao isn't quite sure if she really is. 

Noticing her unsure face, Shi Lian says, "I am fine, Xiaoxiao. " Straightening her back, she clears her throat and asks, "Did you bring the files? Reports all checked? "

Assuming Shi Lian changed the topic that means she does not want to talk about it, Xiaoxiao lets it go too. Turning the pages of the file she asserts, "Yes, here is this. And the analyzing part is done. I checked the data as well, twice."

Shi Lian nods checking the pages which Xiaoxiao handed to her. "Have you told JJ about the monthly assessment? He was supposed to be sending me the records."

"I told him two days ago and he did respond he will do it."

"I haven't seen much of him lately... Umm... Tell him one more time" she tells her. 

Fang Xiao nods. Shi Lian dismisses her and she goes to her chamber.

Now alone in her office, she has plenty of time to think. She shouldn't think, she should try to divulge herself into work but all she can think of is him. She wonders if she had picked up his calls in the morning, what would he say? 

One time she thinks it's right she didn't pick up his calls but the other she is changing her decision. She knows she has the right to be mad but now to think of it, it's killing her. 

Staring at her phone screen, she bites her inner cheek as her hands voluntarily tap on the contact and then to Zichen's name. Should she call? No, that will be weird. "Argh!" she groans in frustration and turns off her phone. 

Dammit, fuck it. She needed the weight to be lifted from both her head and heart. She turns on her phone and dials Zichen's number.

With the ringing, her heart beats louder and she can hear it. With each second, her throat gets dry and her nervousness grows more. 

The phone rings for quite a long time and at last, he picks up. "Shi Lian," he says, his voice gentle and needy and she can sense the suprisement in his voice. 

"H-hey" she croaks. Taking a sharp intake of breath, she calms herself and starts what she wants to say, "You listen. I know I shouldn't be calling you. I should stay mad at you but it's not working for me. You are fucking up my mind and it's getting harder for me to concentrate on things." She stops to take a moment to breathe. Zichen is silent and Shi Lian is glad he hadn't interrupted her. She continues, "You should have made me stay, made an explanation why the hell is you so mysterious not by quoting every damn time that 'this is the way I am' blah blah shit. You know I am not demanding much from you....just something real from you. Is that so much to ask? You asked questions snd I do answer them without twisting my answers. I expect the same from you too."

Silence from the other line. Shi Lian thinks if he is there or has left her hanging. "Hello? Zichen? You there?" she asks from confirmation. 

"Yes, I am," he says, his voice hoarse. 

"If you keep being like this....maybe...maybe we shouldn't. Sometimes I think we aren't matched for each other at all" she smiles bitterly, "but you made me feel that we are bound to be together. You know...I am confused...about us. Every time er fight it's about you being mysterious. You don't tell me anything and that's what pisses me off. If you don't trust then just tell, say it! Which you don't actually. You may think I am being overly emotional but I can't help it. If you want to hang up—"

"No," he says cutting her off. "I am glad you called, more than glad." He stops for a while and Shi Lian grows nervous again, thinking if she had said what she shouldn't. 

She hears him sigh, "Alright. I am ready. Whatever you demand, I'll do."

"You mean...you will stop being mysterious?" she asks to confirm. She thought he will try to twist up his words but she is truly shocked. She wanted to hear it so badly and finally, he is going to give her answers, answers that will make her decision. 

"Yes. I cannot express myself on the phone. Shall we meet outside?"

"oh... Um... Yes, sure. Where?"

"At my house?" he asks, unsure if she would say yes to that. 

The warning of her father pops up again and Shi Lian tries to ignore it. Her father didn't tell her the reason and without reason, she isn't going to act. "Okay."

"I'll get Rong to pick you up after work," he tells. Shi Lian agrees and they hang up. The weight she was feeling earlier now seems to be less suffocating. A smile appears on her lips and she closes her eyes, her head resting on the chair. She likes him, way much than she thinks she does and when she talked about breaking up, it was unsettling to her as well. She had a big blown breakup that almost ruined her and if another in happens, she won't be able to take that very well. She will be shattered. 

It took her years to mend herself, to be the strong girl she is now but that's only the exterior. She is still a fragile girl who is afraid to face challenges. Her heart may have mended but it's still delicate. 

People took pity on her and she didn't like it. When she told Evelyn about everything, she didn't like the reaction she gave. She hated that she is giving her pity. But after that, she understood and stop thinking much about people's opinions. 

Someone knocks on the door making her back to reality. "Come in!"

Fang Xiao walks in, calm and elegant. Sometimes Shi Lian finds it hard to believe that they are of the same age. Fang Xiao appears mature maybe because she has worked previously and had the experience while Shi Lain doesn't. 

Keeping aside the thoughts, she asks, "Yes, Xiaoxiao?"

"I told Mr. CEO about the assessment. Well, he nodded and I thought he considered it. But now I think he might have not heard me properly. Maybe because he was busy talking with Mr. Mo" Xiaoxiao says. 

Shi Lian raises her eyebrows, "Mr.Mo? Mo Zheng Yi?" 

"Yes. They were in the middle of something when I entered."

Shi Lian is not sure whether to believe it or not. Or to be cautious or not. Why would her uncle and JJ have to do with each other? It makes sense of they are discussing the company but she has never seen them before not has she heard anyone mentioning each other's name. 

"It's fine. I'll tell him the next time when I visit his chamber" Shi Lian says. 

Her uncle has been weird lately. Weird in the sense he is ignoring her which he never did in the past. Shi Lian thinks perhaps he got his screw adjusted and thought it's useless to mess with her. But after knowing that he and JJ are discussing something, she cannot help but think. One might say she is being overly sensitive but when her uncle is involved she is bound to be careful.