Chapter 82 - So Much Hesitation

"I'm sorry for him. He was out of place" Dominik moved closer to him. "Do not worry about him. He did it out of jealousy. He knows I chose you and he's probably bitten by the question why? In what are you better at than him?

Nowicki looked at the actor with wide eyes.

"In what…?"

"In everything. Come upstairs with me and I'll prove it to you."

"You haven't eaten your breakfast yet."

"Later. First, whet my appetite with conditioning exercises. In other words, keep turning me until I sweat."

"You really want sex in this whole situation?"

"But only with you. I don't know why, but with you I don't need to be afraid of anything or anything. And if you're tense, we'll fix it right now."

"That's not the point. Rather ... Dominik, we shouldn't have sex. This is about to go too far, get out of control and… Some paparazzi might still be around" not that argument he wanted to use. He was going to say they shouldn't sleep together for Dominik's sake, but he wouldn't accept that explanation.

"Well, yes," the actor admitted resignedly, and stepped back. He looked very disappointed. "You're right."

"I'm sorry."

Andrzej really felt that way. He did not understand why. Yes, he didn't want to hurt the actor with rejection, especially now that he had to avoid stress and really take care of himself. There was something else about it, as if he was causing suffering not only for him. But why would refusing to have sex with a guy hurt him too?

What if they've already gone too far?

Andrzej wanted to find a girl for Dominik, he wanted him to feel the taste of normal relationship and sex, and at the same time to forget that he himself was immersing deeper and deeper into the world of Śliwiński. It is the actor who begins to drag him to the side of his preferences.

'Nonsense! I'm not gay,' Andrzej assured himself as he watched Dominik walk away. 'I'm not and that's it! I have to prove it to myself.'

Only that looking for a partner for himself will mean that he will leave this house for a good few hours. Leaving Dominik alone was not a good solution when journalists lurked nearby, Marczak dared to re-enter the actor's life and somewhere there was a sick madman who sent Śliwiński a macabre package. Under such circumstances, there was no option that Andrzej would be able to just leave the house and focus on the conquest. It was just not possible.

Plus, all this thinking about sex made his cock rise. Damn it. Maybe ignore it, then it will pass by itself, or shake off in the bathroom? But if it's supposed to be handwork, why not let Dominik ...

Oh, no no! What a ghastly thought to use this beautiful man for such a small activity! No, absolutely not, even if the actor himself enjoyed it.

Because in fact, not to lie to himself, caressing someone else's penis gave a man a special kind of pleasure. While playing with himself, he focused on the sensations of his penis, when he was taking care of someone, his hands and mouth received stimuli. The way his treatments cause the penis to enlarge, harden, and eventually begin to drip fluids, had a special kind of sensation that seemed reserved for women. Touching your own member was pleasant, but someone else's - even ten times more.

Maybe I shouldn't have said no to Dominik?

Get a grip, he scolded himself. Think that nothing good can come to him if you sleep with him. You will relieve yourself, but he ...

He has needs too, and it's really nicer to make love than to just shake off.

Damn it!

'I'll go ask what he wants for breakfast and ...'

Damn it!

***

As Dominik was going upstairs, he felt sadness overwhelming him. He had the impression that after all the steps forward, he was losing Andrzej and that was even before he actually won him.

Two passionate nights - what were they in the context of their whole life, or even two months of their relationship? Just a wonderful dream? Really nothing more? Will Nowicki really start to elude him before they reach the appropriate state of fulfillment?

Andrzej started pushing him away from him, Dominik thought glumly as he crossed the threshold. He knew he would, but it still hurt. If he could do something, anything to keep him with him, he would do anything. Andrzej wanted Dominik to sleep with women, so if he tries to do it, if he proves that he cannot achieve fulfillment in this way, will Nowicki give up? Will he then believe that only he, no one else?

Dominik was excited, but at that moment he could not count on sex with his beloved. Andrzej clearly said no. It's a pity, but if Nowicki keeps refusing him ... After all, Śliwiński is not a monk and sex was not forbidden for him. If he cannot count on Andrzej, then maybe himself ...

He didn't like it, he really did not. He definitely preferred having someone in his arms and having that someone do very naughty things with him.

No, not someone, he corrected himself. Andrzej. Only him. Only his lovely, sweet Andrzej.

Imagination was doing its job when Dominik began to caress. It wasn't that, it was empty, but what else could he do if he couldn't count on Nowicki's reciprocity?

Someone knocked on the door. Not someone, Andrzej! It could only be him! Dominik blushed and hid the traces of what he was doing.

"Please, come in" he called.

The photographer shyly slipped inside.

"I didn't ask what you wanted for breakfast."

"Whatever you do, it'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

"No special wishes?"

"I told you about one, but you refused," Dominik remarked with a slight pout. It surprised him that he did not receive any comment.

Could it be, he thought, feeling his heart racing that Andrzej had changed his mind after all, but he couldn't say it?

"Because you see" Dominik continued, changing tactics "We are both men. Maybe I don't look manly and I can actually remind someone of a woman sometimes, but I also think with my dick, you know?"

Nowicki looked away somewhere.

"You are not effeminate," he said quietly, but bluntly. "Not at all. You have a subtle beauty that can be associated with femininity and you are very sensitive, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a guy. I know that. I never thought of you as a woman, even, you know, when ..."

"I like sex," Dominik continued, feeling he could get good results," is there something wrong with that? I think about it a lot and sometimes I would like to make it over and over again. Is it so abnormal?"

"More typical, I would say."

"I've never had sex with someone I don't like, but it's also probably not that unusual."

"I can't speak for everyone, but I've also ... only have sex with people I like."

At the sound of these words, Dominik's heart skipped a beat. Andrzej has never had sex with someone he doesn't like? Does it mean…?

The actor, however, had to control himself. He couldn't put too much pressure on Nowicki. Andrzej was just beginning to discover the possibility of enjoying sex between men. If for some reason he is scared of these impressions and this pleasure, Dominik may forever lose the chance to win Andrzej. So he has to be very careful. Maybe he had to deal with Nowicki like an egg so as not to destroy this fragile relationship between them, but he was ready for it, because Andrzej was a truly wonderful man who cared more about Dominik's happiness than his own.

It was this fact that Śliwiński decided to use at this point.

"I know that you are worried about me," Dominik said "about how I will deal with the scandal when it turns out that I'm gay and you know what? I don't care what others think. I never really wanted to be an actor. I became one because it turned out that way. I might as well be lining up supermarket shelves. Family ... You were right then, my mother should accept me anyway, and if she doesn't, if she renounces me - well, we don't have the best relationship at the moment. I was afraid of all this being with Marek. I don't think he did it on purpose, but he instilled in me a fear of the whole world. You showed me that I don't have to be afraid of everyone. I know you don't love me, not romantically, but you care about me and our bodies are good together. There are many marriages without love, even without sympathy, so what we have is more than most people have. You said yourself that you were never in love and still had sex with different partners. I accept it completely for myself. Therefore come to me and take me."