Chapter 70 - As Long As You Are In My Life

As Andrzej entered him, Dominik held his breath for a moment. Andrzej hesitated, but was no longer able to stop. Feeling his own pleasure overwhelming him, he began to make slow, gliding movements.

"Oh ..." Dominik arched a slight arch and tossed his head back.

Andrzej embraced his hips and lifted him more. This allowed him to go a little deeper. Dominik's interior was hot and willing, inviting him further and welcoming him with another delightful groan from the actor's mouth. Soon Andrzej was immersed in him and he was absorbed in his arms.

Though it was against nature and against what he had been brought up in, being one with Dominic gave him heavenly delight.

***

"I've been thinking about what we're doing," said Andrzej suddenly. His voice was very serious.

Dominik, on his chest, shifted uneasily.

"Yes?"

"You are incredible, absolutely amazing, but I don't know if I can accept such a relationship."

"So don't do it" Śliwiński cuddled up to him, filling him with a mixture of restless emotions.

"I ... don't understand," Andrzej admitted.

"I know you like me, but you can't yet say to what extent. What we do together goes beyond the standards you know. It cannot be easy to understand all of this, so you should take your time. It can stay as it is for now, don't you think?"

"As it is?"

"I love you for everything you give me, who you are to me. Although I would like more, I would like you to love me too, I know I cannot expect it from you. Therefore, if I can spend time with you as I have been doing, and sometimes you want to take me in your arms, it will be fine."

"But ... Don't you feel there's something wrong with that?"

"Not really. Of course I would like more, but if it doesn't… I don't want to lose what I have - your friendship."

"You won't lose her," Andrzej assured him hotly.

"I believe you," he heard the soft reply and felt a hot drop on his chest.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I love you."

"Shit" muttered Andrzej, not knowing what to do. "But I don't know if I ever ..."

"I know."

"We shouldn't have started this. If I can't return your feelings, I'll only hurt you. We should stop."

"It's too late. It was too late from the start. I didn't stop thinking about you from the moment you saved me. Whether you would have left right then, now, or a thousand years from now, it would be the same."

"Dominik ..."

"I'm sorry it's my fault. That's just the way I am. So don't worry about the future. For now, let it stay as it is. It's okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. As long as you are in my life to any degree, I will be happy."

It is impossible, thought Andrzej. No one can be happy living an unrequited love. There is always a black cloud of awareness hanging over you that you are unloved. Such bitterness cannot do any good.

Nowicki stroked the head of his lover.

And what is he to do in such a situation?

Dominik was the sweetest, most adorable of the creatures he knew. He was alluring, sensitive and beautiful, but what Andrzej felt for him was not love. At least not the kind that Śliwiński would have liked. Nowicki had already slept with women he liked and attracted to him, but there was no real feeling in this. Sex, while undoubtedly pleasant, was just sex.

If Dominik were a woman, Andrzej would probably fall in love with him. He had exactly all the traits he particularly liked and a few others that he liked through him. However, he could not imagine himself in love with a man. He couldn't stand hiding from people or being exposed. No, it was simply impossible for a man to love a man in a romantic way. Dating, friendship and even sex were explainable and acceptable, but a romantic feeling?

Maybe that makes him a hypocrite, he thought, after all he gets the physical pleasure of being with a man. But sex is sex. You can make it with your wife, mistress, whore and even alone. It's just physical, nothing really extraordinary.

Nothing fancy for him, but for Dominik he was only the second partner in life. The boy took matters of the body as seriously as his hearts. For him, there was no such thing as free relationships or just fun. When he gave his body it was together with his soul. Andrzej knew about it from the beginning and yet he could not keep his penis in his pants and now the boy became even more attached to him. It was unfair towards Dominik and it could have ended as badly as in the case of the relationship with Marczak.

No, Andrzej would never hit him and he would absolutely not dare try to force him, but sooner or later he would break his heart.

Not if Dominik's heart changes by itself. All he has to do is find someone worth loving for himself.

Śliwiński's breathing slowed down. The actor seemed to fall asleep in his arms.

Nowicki reached for the covers and covered them both. He didn't want his lover to get too cold and catch a cold. Since Andrzej found Dominik then, in that heart breaking day, half-conscious with exhaustion, Śliwiński was weakened all the time. During these two months, the recurring and new problems that Marczak posed did not allow him to fully recover. Dominik was brave and struggling, but he did not have the same appetite as before, he stopped exercising in his small gym and he often had moments of deep reflection or distraction. He sometimes dropped something or even accidentally injured himself. Sometimes Andrzej felt like just grabbing him in his arms, just like now, and holding him in them so that he wouldn't be inadvertently hurt himself.

Sometimes he was even afraid that if he let him out of sight, Dominik would melt in his loneliness and sorrow.

'I have to draw him between people, between trusted and good friends. Go somewhere with Paulina and Martynka or Marta and, damn it, even with Ewelina. This director he met could turn out to be a decent guy too. I cannot allow Dominik's world to be limited only to me, because then there will surely be some catastrophe.'

Yes, it will be the perfect solution to expand Dominik's circle of friends. Andrzej should show him the good that exists in people and make Dominik want their company and their warmth. After all, there were good, honest and nice people in the world, not only vultures waiting to use someone for their own ends. These people must enter the world of Dominik, otherwise the life of the young actor will not cease to be a well filled with loneliness. After all, Andrzej himself will never be able to fill this well with the usual love that exists between people.

Andrzej felt his lover's warmth, his calm breathing and even heartbeat. It was nice to hold him in his arms, touch his skin and hair, smell a subtle, wonderful smell.

But why the hell both have to be men?