Chapter 17

The Duke of Paeraton stirred the pumpkin soup and blew on it.

It was a scene that didn’t really suit him. Even his appearance looked elegant.

The Duke of Paeraton, who carefully stirred the pumpkin soup, gave me a spoonful.

‘No, I didn’t think you were going to let me eat in this situation.’

If Anna was the one giving it to me, I’d tell her to let it go. But the Duke of Paeraton himself volunteered to take care of it…

Hmmm, but what did you put in it that smells so savory?

Wow, that looks delicious!

Mmm, it’s delicious!

‘Hyuk…..!’

I opened my eyes wide, feeling the taste of the savory pumpkin soup that gently wraps around my tongue.

I said I would let you go….!

Gulp by gulp,it’s slowly decreasing.

It’s so delicious.

The baby’s instinct betrayed my reason.

‘Cause I’m starving.

Once I tasted it, I couldn’t resist it anymore.

I opened my mouth and ate the soup that the Duke fed me.

After emptying the bowl clean, I seized the cookie.

‘cookie!’

Chewing chocolate chunks was really the best.

It’s delicious!

The Duke of Paeraton stared at me like that.

As I received the gaze, I slowly felt a shiver, and sweated.

He asked quietly.

“Did you like the taste?”

“Just answer.”

W-what? I’m scared.

The Duke picked me up as I watched him with shaking pupils.

He lifted me to his eye level and stared at my face, which was deathly pale.

‘W-what is it?’

Fortunately, the burdensome eye contact is over fast.

He put me down and mumbled something in his chest.

At first glance, I heard something like, “I told you to take care of a child. What’s your problem?”

How can you treat a baby like that?

It was a bloody aura that froze the smiling baby.

It’s cold, it’s cold.

“Are you surprised a lot today?”

He asked me, tapping my butt.

Fortunately, he seemed to have decided to give up the bloody aura.

“A little…….”

As I responded with notice, the patting touch became gentler.

“This is your home.”

Does that mean…… you won’t kick me out?

As I glanced up, the Duke made eye contact with me.

“There’s no one here that would hurt you.”

I wriggled my hands because it was hard to answer.

“Neither Marquis Tarenka nor his daughter will ever set foot in this mansion again.”

Yes?

I looked at the Duke in surprise. He was still looking at me.

‘Do you think I was surprised by Clatier?’

I thought you were talking about what happened earlier.

If so, the fact that you came to my room before…

‘Did you come here to comfort me from the beginning?’

“You can cry.”

Then the Duke rubbed my cheek. It was a little awkward, but it was a soft touch.

‘S-should I cry?’

I was looking at him, but he raised me up and froze.

“Round.”

……Huh?

I looked at him with little bewildered eyes.

Did you just blurt out the words you had in your mind?

When I was in Marquis Tarenka, I couldn’t even dream about it.

I felt as if my old worries had gone down.

‘Why would I cry if I have a cookie?’

But……

“No one can be rude to you.”

Hearing that, my nose felt somewhat sour.

‘I have to put up with it.’

Because crying is annoying.

Under the influence of the penalty, I became a total baby and said everything I couldn’t say.

(T/N: the penalty she’s talking about is the one where she lost the Reincarnation Buff)

‘You have to do well when you have only a little bit of rationality left. I don’t know when I’ll be a full baby again.’

“I’m sorry, too.”

I swipe the Duke’s hem

He whispered again with a serious and a beautiful face to match the formula of perfection.

“Sorry.”

“……”

My tears seemed to flow from my eyes.

‘No, I didn’t mean to cry because of Clatier from the beginning.’

Although I was told by the devil that I was “foolish,” it was fine to me.

I got it.

“I know you said you hated me, actually.”

The Duke looked down at me. I still couldn’t figure out what he was thinking.

“I don’t want you to be the father of another child.”

Still, I meant it.

“I wish you were my dad.”

“…really?”

“Yeah, really!”

He looked at me silently.

A big hand gently touches my cheek.

“……Anything you want to say to me?”

Something moved from the bottom of my heart at the question.

If you were really my dad.

No one can be rude to me. If you say so.

‘Why haven’t you come to see me?’

I had gotten used to people treating me recklessly.

I’m always ignored, so even I wonder if I’m a precious person.

‘Why did you leave me in that place?’

I remembered a resentment that I didn’t recognize exactly.

‘Get a hold of yourself’, I told myself.

‘Because babies are honest with their feelings.’

If I get emotional, he will resent it and he’ll get sick of me.

Now, when the consciousness’ effect is weak, you have to keep your mind especially upright.

‘You have to be a good kid to make your way through life.’

I tried to control my emotions and shouted with a bright face.

“Nothing!”

“……Really?”

“Yes!”

He examined my face step by step. He was carefully looking, like a person looking at a riddle.

“How many years have I left you in such a place?”

“…….”

I forced the corners of my mouth back up as they tried to go down.

(tl/n: poor baby T.T)

‘I’m sure there must have been some kind of circumstances.’

Even if there were no circumstances, think like there were and act casually!

It was at that moment.

“There were some circumstances.”

I looked up in surprise at the Duke’s words.

“There must have been a reason. Now that you’ve come to see me, that’s enough.”

Did he read my mind?

“I don’t think so.”

“……..”

“No matter what, even if I was dying on the battlefield, it was wrong to leave you in that place.”

I opened my mouth and closed it again.

‘You have to say no.’

I have to say that I understand everything, Dad is not good at explaining.

‘That’s the answer.’

But…

But….!

“huk!”

A sob leaked out.

I bit my lips to stop it, but it didn’t work.

“Huk huk huk!”

As if a dam had collapsed, the cry that had been blocked burst out in an instant.

“Why did you abandon me?!”

And the words of resentment flowed.

“Do you know how, *sob*, how scared I was!”

It was really scary.

“Everyone hates me, hits me, doesn’t feed me!”

But what was scarier than that—

“I’ve missed you so much, Dad! I’ve missed you so much!”

Even in this life, I’m afraid I don’t have a family.

“Why are you so late?……. *sob*!”

A big hand clasped my back. The touch made me cry more for some reason.

“You’re my dad! Why did you leave me alone when you’re my dad?”

I raised my fist and hit him hard, but his arms that wrapped around me didn’t come loose.

“I’ve been waiting so long!”

“I’m sorry.”

The warm hands brushed my eyes and nose.

The red eyes looked down at me in a different light.

“I was wrong.”

He whispered in my ear that he was sorry until I was tired of crying and fell asleep.

*****

“Umm……”

I was in a very deep slumber and slowly came to consciousness.

A warm pair of arms wrapped around me.

I didn’t want to wake up like this, so I hesitated, but I held something hot like bread.

It’s a very, very large bread.

It was good to play with something soft and elastic.

The baby’s instinct made me move my fingers.

‘It’s warm. I feel good.’

But what is this?

The consciousness was coming back more and more regardless of my will.

By the time the sleepiness was almost gone, I realized something was strange.

‘What is this?’

I forced my eyelids up because I couldn’t open them well.

‘Hyuk…!’

The eyes that could not be opened,  naturally grew bigger when the sight of a man who seemed so terrifying appeared in front of me.

‘R-really?’

I looked up and saw the Duke of Paeraton looking down at me.

I quickly put my hands away.

“Are you up?”

“G-good morning….”

I answered with a creeping voice.

‘Why are you sleeping with me?’

He even had nothing on top.

In my sleep, I rubbed other people’s bare chest as if nothing.

‘You’re wearing something……..aahh!’

At that moment, last night’s events suddenly flashed in my head.

And at the same time, why was he sleeping with his shirt off?

I realized.

The chest of his shirt was messed up with my tears and runny nose.

“Don’t go….If you leave me behind, I’ll hate you.”

You couldn’t even go change because of my stupidity.

Because if he was even a little bit away from me, I cried and wept.

“Crybaby.”

“Tch.” I clicked my tongue at the name.

“That’s a fish eye.”

He rubbed my swollen eyes gently.

There was a revelation of excitement in his upper body.

“Did it hurt?”

huh?

“It must have been painful to punch with that cotton fist.”

I guess you’re talking about me beating your chest hard last night.

My cheeks glowed with the embarrassing memories.

I shook my head.

“That’s not it. This scar.”

He covered my eyes when I asked him pointing to the scar on his side.

“It’s not much.”

“Why do you cover it?”

“Because it’s disgusting.”

I removed his hand covering my eyes.

“Did you get hurt in the war?”

“No way.”

Duke Paeraton replied bitterly.

I wriggled around and clung to him.

The duke only watched what I was doing and didn’t say much.

“Hooh-.”

As I blew my breath on the scar, he narrowed his eyebrows.

“…what are you doing?”

“This is what you do when you’re sick.”

“It’s an old wound. Come on now, it can’t hurt.”

“I couldn’t do it that time.”

“…….”

He was silent.

But he didn’t stop me from blowing my breath.

“Didn’t you get hurt in the war?”

“I’m not hurt.”

I stretched my arm out to him and rubbed his forehead.

“Sissy, take away the pain!”

“Even though it doesn’t hurt?”

“It hurts. You have to do it.”

As if he couldn’t understand, he raised one eyebrow.

“There’s no way people can’t get hurt.”

It can get hurt even if you’re what people fear, what people are wary of and are what they hate.

Those gazes…I am well aware that some gazes are hurtful.

“……I see.”

As if convinced, he nodded slowly.

“That’s what I should have done.”

“To me?”

“Yeah, when I got back to this house. You were sick.” Because of the abuse I had in the Marquis of Tarenka, I had been sick for several days after returning to the Duchy.

I’ve never seen the Duke of Paeraton before….

“You came to see me?”

“Everynight.”

“……I didn’t think you were coming.”

“I had to go to the Imperial Palace everyday. The emperor was noisy because I returned early from the frontline of the war. I returned home only when you fell asleep.”

What is the reason why the emperor said that he returned early?

“I never got sick on the frontline.”

“…….”

“I was just thinking of coming back soon.”

“Why?”

Why would he want to return quickly knowing that I was sick?

“to bring you back.”

The red eyes reflected me.

I opened my mouth and closed it back.

I was full of things to say, but I didn’t know what to say first.

“……I didn’t even know my dad was in war. I thought you abandoned me at my uncle’s.”

“I’m sorry.”

He wiped my cheek. It was a rough hand, but I was strangely relieved.

“It’s okay. Now I know my dad had to leave me for war.”

I lowered my eyes.

“Still, it would have been more comfortable with my dad.”

I felt like a child anyways, so I ended up saying one more thing.

The Duke of Paeraton stroked my head as I wriggled my fingers.

“You….. are a special child.”

It was a cautious tone as if choosing a word uncharacteristically.

“Special child?”

“Yes, because you weren’t born with magic.”

My heart automatically thumped and sank with a sound.

What if he suspects that I’m not his own daughter?

But the words of the duke that followed were different from what I thought.

“If you don’t have magic, you are no different from a normal baby. You will die because you can’t stand the magic that your brothers emit.”

My eyes were wide open to the unexpected information.

“It would have been different if I had been there, but I was in a situation where I had to fight.”

His face looking at me looked painful.

“Then Marquis Tarenka offered to take over you, his neice.  He said he has a daughter your age so you will like it.  For an ordinary child, family will be important.”

“…….”

“I sent you to Tarenka to protect you. I even got reports that you are doing well.”

I had no idea.

“I’m sorry.”

He apologized to me.

It was strange.

Listening to the story, he had no reason to apologize to me.

The one who did wrong was Marquis Tarenka, who took advantage of the situation to abuse me.

But what’s more strange is that my heart was pounding at his apology.

The snow that bloomed on a frozen heart, a heart so sore, was like touching a flower with thorn

The snow has melted.

“But just know this.”

The Duke held my cheek.

“I didn’t abandon you.”

He spoke more seriously than ever, looking into my eyes.

“I never abandoned you once.”

I suppose you never abandoned me.

Not once.

“Then….. are you my dad?”

“Yes.”

“Are you my dad even if I don’t have magic?”

“Certainly.”

It was a straightforward remark.

Words solid enough that they got stuck in my heart.

At that moment, my face was distorted. Something came up from within uncontrollably.

“*sob* *sob*! Daddy-!”

“Yes, I am your dad.”

The Duke of Paeraton, my father hugged me.

I clung to his neck and cried like a real baby.

I asked the devil for certain conditions, but in fact I didn’t want them all.

What I really wanted after growing up as an orphan and living alone all my life was a loving and affectionate family.

All I wanted was that one thing.