My name is Richard Long, but you can call me, Dick, for short.

Not that there's anything "short" about my you-know-what. Wink. Wink.

Ahem...Five seconds in, and I'm already making sex jokes. Apologies. Let's continue with the self-introduction, shall we?

As I was saying, my name is Dick Long (*snicker*), and I'm a F-class adventurer. Which means I'm "Fucking amazing". That or "Flunkie". It's so hard to tell these days, what with the preponderance of classification systems. But regardless, I'm a beginner, a rookie, a n00b. I literally just got my adventuring license from the adventuring guild (because where else would you get an adventuring license? A fucking grocery store?), and it's still hot off the press, warm to the touch. I chose "Druid" as my class by the way, in case you were wondering. And if you weren't, well, fuck you. I mean, fuck me-? I mean, let's just agree to disagree about who deserves to be fucked.

Speaking of fucking, I have a confession to make. I'm a bit abnormal, a bit unlike the typical adventurers you see roaming about. Whereas your standard issue adventurer goes around slaying mobs for experience, and thus leveling up, a rare genetic defect I was born with renders me unable to gain experience in such ways. So no stabby-stabby for me. Instead, I have to sleep my way up the ladder, if you know what I mean. And if you don't, I'm talking about sex.

By "sexing" my enemies into submission, I am able to harness their "essence" and use it to power myself up, gaining levels that way. At the present, I am level five. For reference, S-class adventurers can reach levels in the hundreds. So it's without exaggeration that I tell you I'm a complete scrub. But I also happen to be a complete scrub that's standing on the first floor of what's widely known as the "Impossible LE Dungeon", a dungeon so difficult, that no one has ever cleared it. Not even the S-class adventurers I was mentioning previously. Not even the SS-class adventurers, nor the SSS-class adventurers. Or however many S's you may fancy to add.

Now, you may be wondering, "What the fuck is a level five scrub doing in such a difficult dungeon?" And to that, I respond, "Good question, mate."

Seriously though, I was just looking for the toilet. Whoever decided it was a good idea to put, "Portable Toilet", next to, "Portal To iled", deserves to be fired, and I mean with coals and all. But whatever. Now that I'm already here, I might as well look around a bit first before I leave, right? Besides, what's the worst that can happen?

****

Okay, the worst happened. Or rather, it's happening. I'm being chased by a harpy, and there are no other adventurers around to help me.

I'll admit, the situation may be a bit of my own doing. I was suckered in by the harpy's alluring voice, curious as to the source of the lovely melody wafting through the air. But I got too close, and when I saw the harpy's hideous form, I must have let out an expression of disgust which seemed to piss the creature off. And now she's chasing after me, flying a dozen feet above my head. Occasionally, she'll swoop down, reaching for my face and neck with her razor sharp talons. I've managed to fend her off so far, but I don't think I can elude her forever, so it's probably time for me to take some offensive maneuvers.

As the harpy once again dives towards me, I manage to sidestep backwards, out of reach of her claws, and allow her to glide right past. Then before she can flap her wings skyward, I leap forward, jumping onto her back, my arms wrapping around her thin torso as my hands grab ahold of her breasts. Surprised by my sudden attack, and the extra weight, the harpy falls like a rock, skidding several feet across the ground before coming to a halt. She clearly looks stunned by the turn of events, and I don't let the opportunity go to waste.

Still gripping her saggy breasts, I begin to fondle them, squeezing and pinching her nubs with the tips of my fingers, smiling when I feel them beginning to harden. "You like this, don't you?" I whisper into the harpy's ear, and I'm delighted when I hear the harpy moan in reply.

With haste, I begin to undress, tossing my leather armor to the side. Then I flip the harpy over, so that she is lying on her back, her raven black wings stretch out to either side. Her face is rather hideous, with its emaciated cheeks, cracked lips, flat nose and gray skin, so I just stare at her breasts instead, burying my face between her two mounds. Then with a free hand, I line my dick up with her loose pussy before shoving forward with one clean motion, impaling the creature with my spear. The harpy lets out a shriek of pleasure, her melodic voice swinging with the motion of my thrusts.

"Ah, you're singing quite a different tune now, aren't you?" I ask as my rod pistons in and out of her vagina. The harpy doesn't reply with words, but her expression is more than an answer as her normally dead eyes are now wide with enthrallment and lust, while below, her wings fidget about, restless with her pent up desire.

Schlap! Schlap! Thrust! Thrust!

All the while, the harpy sings, her song a chorus of moans and gasps. Then five minutes in, I begin to feel the familiar sensation in my balls as they begin to pull in.

"Oh fuck! Fuck, I'm close! Take it! Take my seed!" I shout as I give the harpy one last thrust, burying my penis deep into her love tunnel. I must have hit some special spot of hers on the way in, as the harpy also lets out a shrieking crying at the same time, and both of our bodies tense as we orgasm simultaneously.

Now spent, I pull myself off the harpy, my softening dick slipping out of her used pussy. Then I collapse backwards, my back flat on the ground. I'm still panting, cooling down from my post-orgasmic high. My eyes flutter a bit, swaying between open and shut, and as I look over, I spot the harpy standing up. She turns to me, eyeing me up and down before giving me a nod. Then she flaps her wings, taking off into the air. As the harpy disappears, I suddenly feel a surge of power coursing through my body, and I know that I have just leveled up. I close my eyes, and a screen appears before me.

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Level Up! You are now Level 6!

Please choose a new skill:

Transformation (+Wolf)

Organ enhancement (+Vibration)

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Which skill do I pick?