Chapter 63

"Actually, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'll tell you that. Do you think a big man like me shouldn't have so many complaints? Don't think about anything, just go step by step according to the arrangement at home, no matter it's wind or rain, someone is blocking for me. I just need to follow their ideas, follow the rules and achieve their goals, don't I? "

She shook her head and said, "I just didn't think you would think that way." He raised his face, stroked his face and said in a soft voice, "if you want to find the truth in your heart, do it! However, you should know that once you do that, it will make your family sad and even affect your relationship with them. What's more, the road you want to take may not be able to go on. It may hurt you, even your head and blood. Should you consider all the advantages and disadvantages before you decide to do it? If you can accept the worst, you can try

He gave a little smile, took her little hand and gave it a kiss. He sighed: "I don't know if I have so much courage. On the one hand, I want to be myself. On the other hand, I can't seem to put down what I have got and what I will have in the future. You can't have both fish and bear's paws! "

Looking at him, she was silent for a long time.

Everyone has their own contradictions and hesitations, will feel confused, but this confusion will not last long. What if what she said made him make the wrong choice? Maybe he just sighed once in a while. If he really wanted to change himself, how could he start to think at the age of 30?

"Maybe you seldom make decisions about your own affairs, and then you think that all these things are not what you want in your heart. It seems that your life has been set by others for a long time. In fact, from a different perspective, do you not have your own efforts in what you get now? Maybe you overemphasize the external factors instead of looking at how much you have paid for today. In this way, maybe that kind of "setting" you think has already become your own consciousness, right? " She said.

He didn't expect her to say that.

Maybe she is right, he has long been unable to distinguish between Self-consciousness and the idea of being indoctrinated. Nevertheless, he is eager for someone who can understand him and support him to make a change.

"In this case, should I not like other people, marry the woman they choose, and then continue the family dream and meaningless life?" He looked at her and asked.

It was because of his marriage that he had those thoughts!

She thought so, but could not speak.

Although she had a relationship with him, she never took a stand to express her opinion on his marriage.

"Why don't you talk? Would you like me to live with others and have sex with other women in the future? " He asked.

"I -" she didn't know, didn't know what he would do if he really married someone else.

"Come on, what's the use of saying that?" He sighed, picked it up and got out of bed.

His back disappeared from her eyes. She closed her eyes, but her eyes were full of tears.

What's the use of forcing her? At this stage of the matter, I don't have a clear plan. How can I force her to express her opinions? He washed in the bathroom, looked up at himself in the mirror, can not help but scold a "coward".

Though he thought so, he didn't say anything to her.

They just talked about the trip, and then they were ready to go home.

"Well, Xia Yuchen, stop at the door of a drugstore. I'll buy some medicine." As soon as she got on the bus, she said.

"Are you ill?" He asked.

"No, that, I want to buy Contraceptives, now take, will not have effect?" She asked timidly.

Oh, no, he just remembered this serious problem. If you think about it carefully, it seems that she had menstruation not long ago. Now these days are just in danger. What's more, I did it so many times yesterday, every time I shot in it, I'm sure I'll be pregnant!

He stares at her with extremely strange eyes, and looks at her fluffy.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Well," he said, looking back at the front, pondering for a moment, then looking at her, "can you stop taking the medicine?"

"Ah?" She was shocked, but she didn't seem to hear him clearly. "You, you, what do you mean? In case, in case of pregnancy, what shall we do? "

"Of course, of course," he seemed not sure, and his eyes drifted.

"Don't say that. We all know it's impossible." She gave a sad smile and looked ahead.

Yes, in the current situation, even if she has his child, it is impossible for her to have a chance to be born. It's stupid to try this way! He thought so, sighing helplessly for his impulse.

Along the way, both were silent.

She was no longer in the mood to see the scenery outside the window. She was staring at the outside, but her eyes were empty.

What are you doing when you come out to play this time?

It seems that once there is a physical relationship between men and women, it really becomes dull. The sweet days of the past, it seems, can never go back.

Thinking of this, her heart felt empty.

Why is that? Is it because two people have a relationship before they have a clear mind?

She grinned bitterly. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't cry.

All of a sudden, she turned her head and stared at her hand in surprise.

I don't know how he found that she was in a bad mood, or he was in the same mood. He held her hand.

"Come on, this is a mountain road. Drive carefully!" She resisted the urge to cry and pulled out her hand.

"Let's go back to my parents." He said.

She stared at him, hesitated for a long time, then said: "this way, OK?"

"There's nothing wrong. Let's go together." He said.

She gave a wry smile and said, "don't let them find out! Otherwise, everyone will be embarrassed! "

He nodded, and she said to go to the house where he lived first and take some presents for his parents.

So they went back to the city. When they arrived at Xia's home, it was four o'clock in the afternoon.

The atmosphere of the Xia family is not very good. When Fang Xiaoyou and Xia Yuchen arrive, Aunt Liu is not there. There are only his parents. Fang Xiaoyou gives the special products of his hometown prepared by his mother and grandmother to his parents.

Maybe it's because of a guilty heart. Fang Xiaoyou is always afraid that uncle Xia and aunt Tan will see what happened between her and Xia Yuchen. However, they seem to have no doubt at all, but they are worried. As for what, they did not say.

Fang Xiaoyou helps aunt Tan prepare dinner. They are chatting in the kitchen. Xia Yuchen and his father are sitting in the living room, asking about their parents' going to waigongjia.

"Your uncle is coming back next week." Said the father.

"Private or business?" Asked Xia Yuchen.

"Both." The father said, "last time I went to Beijing to see him, I talked about you. His advice is to keep you where you are. The central government still holds a positive attitude towards Governor Xu's work, so it is difficult to say what will happen in the end. "

Xia Yuchen nodded and said, "once he mentioned Yao Jing to me. I don't know if it was Yao Jing or not. What did they say in front of Governor Xu's wife

"One thing, after dinner, your mother and I want to talk to you." His father interrupted him, "however, Governor Xu will not speak freely. Moreover, he is a real person comparatively. Don't think too much. Just do your duty well. Don't pay attention to other things."

"I know." Xia Yuchen said, "it's just, Dad, I --"

His father looked at him and asked, "do you have any opinions on Xiaojing?"

Xia Yuchen nodded, but asked: "can I make my own choice?"

The father sighed and asked, "do you have a problem with Xiaojing or your marriage?"

"I want to find someone I like to live with, even if she doesn't have any background, even if she can't help me in my career." Summer rain Chen way, father didn't speak, just slowly drink tea.

"Dad, I really don't experience too much, and I'm not qualified to say that I'm tired or tired, but since I choose this road, ups and downs are always normal. If the people around me are those I love and those who understand me, then I think it will be easier for me to survive. So -- "Xia Yuchen said very seriously.

The father was silent for a long time before he said, "tell your mother about this later."

Father and son chatting like this, they heard Xia Yuchen's mother yell, "stop chatting, come and get ready for dinner!" Xia Yuchen got up to help.

Looking at his son and Fang Xiaoyou finishing the table, Xia Zhenhua's heart gives birth to an inexplicable feeling.

At dinner, although the anger was different from usual, the two parents didn't divulge any words. They just chatted casually.

After that, Fang Xiaoyou goes to wash dishes, and Xia Yuchen takes the initiative to help.

Tan Guiying is about to stop her son, but her husband stops her.

"I'll let them clean up later. It's not good for Xiao you to know that." Xia Zhenhua Road.

In the kitchen, Fang Xiaoyou and Xia Yuchen are silent, working as usual, without any trace. Just, when two people's hands occasionally meet together, can't help but look at each other, and then quickly pretend to have nothing to hide.

Her heart beats so fast, I don't know if it's because the relationship between them has made new progress. She always thinks about the situation of these two days in her mind, and then her cheeks are hot and her heart beats continuously.

By chance, when he looked back and saw that there was no one in the living room, he boldly grasped her hand. She looked at him in horror and did not dare to speak.

"Don't lock the door at night, wait for me!" He approached her and whispered.

She didn't know whether to promise or refuse. She just lowered her head and pulled out her hand.