Chapter 137 - One Hundred And Thirty-seven

"I didn't know what to say to them." He grimaced a bit. "I don't know what you would like for me to say to them. Something that would make you feel no less than yourself in front of them." He rubbed his forehead and continued, "I have not informed anybody about this but if you want, I can. Just tell me what you want me to say to them."

He was right, she bitterly thought to herself.

His words had struck a chord. She knew that he was right. Whatever had happened to her, if anyone knew about it their perspective for her would surely change. The respect that once held in the eyes for her would vanish and be replaced by pity. She didn't want anything like that to happen and for that, she has to make sure that this was all wrapped up.

So he was right, they should not tell anyone what happened. As much as the matter that should be given the importance that it needed it was also important that she did not feel any poor of herself.

"You're right." She nodded and agreed with him. "I suppose that is the best option we have for now."

Angelo didn't comment on it. He pursued his lips and nodded as well appearing to be thinking about the matter. It was her choice in the end if she wanted people to know about it they would but she chooses not to which he would respect.

"Alright. Anyway, you what to eat something? It is your time to snack."

She shook her head negatively. She was in no mood of eating. She laid her head against the bed and with a sigh, she closed her eyes.

A similar situation had once happened back when she was fifteen.

Alexis had been a quiet kid and often it was only the nerds who knew her. She had scored pretty well on the test and answered the questions in a way that no one had. The teacher had made her stand up and solve it on the board for everyone to see. That was the time when Alexis had gained the attention of everyone in the entire class. As embarrassed as she was to get the attention of a class of 50 students, she still hurriedly solved the equation and moved back, once again hiding in the Shadows.

When Alexis was in the washroom, she found to girls of her class talking about her as she was inside the stall. As she heard and recognised their voice and she had held her pee inside.

"Did you see her?"

"Yeah," her friend replied. "She looked so..like a small mouse."

The first girl scoffed. "Nah, she was more like a lonely soul."

Alexis felt like crying. The pressure was also building up but she was too self-conscious to let the sound echo in the washroom and let them be aware of what she was doing. It was natural but she felt like they would embarrass her more.

"I don't know.." the second girl muttered. "I have seen her before. She is amazing to talk to and pretty helpful."

Oh, so she had talked to that girl. It felt nice to know that someone was noticing her.

"Hmm," the girl offhandedly agreed or just agreed for the sake of conversation. "I am sure she is. But what can't she like to have friends."

The second girl sighed out in irritation as if she could not believe that the girl was so it dumb. "Not every person on the planet is a social creature. Some like to stick to themselves and talk when necessary."

"But why? Talking is like so much better.."

How dumb was this girl, Alexis thought. She clearly did not understand the whole point of the conversation.

The pressure was building up in Alexis's lower half. She didn't think that she could control it any longer an acid appeared to be the girls had no intentions of living quickly.

"They are. But then again, not everyone is the same.."

the girls kept on talking and they had no intentions of leaving any time soon and access could not hold on any longer. How would it feel if she started being in the middle of the conversation when she was in the bathroom before them?

They would feel as if she was eavesdropping on them and from a lonely so she would become a complete freak.

"You know what I heard about her. It's related to her stepbrother. People say that she has been physical with him and every time that he denies her, she goes and complains to her parents."

Ashton.

He was behind this rumour. It did not take much time to figure out that her stepbrother was behind this rumour. now he was going on spreading lies about her to everyone even there she did not have any friends she was still ensuring that she had known.

Why? She had no idea about it. it was just is mentality and thinking that were to be in question.

"No way!" The girl immediately defended Alexis. "She might look like someone who is planning and plotting all the time but ration she is not like one of them."

"of course you would say that one time you talk to her and all of a sudden she is the best person ever?"

When were these girls leaving? Alexis was on the verge of letting go and if she dead Shiva show is helping to let go of the tears as well.

"Hell no, I would stand on this. Anyway, come on we have to go to the cafeteria." they were collecting their stuff and zipping their bags and Alexis was the happiest at that moment. They were finally leaving and she could relieve herself.

"But like seriously.."

Ugh! Did that girl ever stop talking?! Alexis could feel the curses coming out of her mouth for that one. And then people wondered why didn't she have any friends. Who wanted to have such talkative friends who just kept on rambling about stupid stuff? Alexis understood gossiping and at times she liked to hear but taking nonsense was completely different.

"No like—" the girl stopped immediately as she heard something and that's when Alexis realised that she had let go. but she didn't stop instead she continued to relieve herself without bothering to think of then and their opinions.

"Oh my God!" The girl shrieked. "Someone was in all this time??" As she continued to hear the hiss. 

"What, were you are expecting them to warn and say, 'hey I am peeing in the washroom, could you come back later?'" the girl taunted. "Now let her pee in peace. Let's go."

Bless the girl, Alexis thought. She was a good soul.

A knock came on her door and she flinched. "Hey," it was the first girl who had called her a lonely soul. "It reeks.." she whispered, laughing she went out.

Reeks? Humiliation was felt throughout her entire body and her eyes watered. Her classmate closed the door with a slight DN didn't care if Alexis wanted to die for it or not.

The girl who defended her was Allie. She was in her maths and chemistry class and various times, Alexis had helped her and so did she. She was a nice girl but today she looked towards her with a pitiful smile.

Why did she? Alexis was fine the way she was living life, friends or no friends she had to live for herself first and she understood that. they all sing to make friends so important as it was the only thing in the world that would be constant. The irony of it even her parents could not be there for her and expected friends to be.

She had no idea why she was remembering any of this because she had not remembered any of their years before and here she was now thinking about it made complete

relation to the situation at hand.

Maybe it was the pitiful look that the girl; Allie had given her and she had immediately felt the need to run away. 

She did not want anyone to look at her with the expression of pity ever again and from then tried a very best to avoid getting herself into any such situations that could lead to the humiliation.

'but I want help. I want to be able to talk to someone about it without having them judge me about or have them naming me sick. I don't want to be a traumatised victim and I don't want to be someone that people pitied.' she sighed and turned to look outside.

'do I even know what I want anymore? Should I continue to live? Even after the violation that I have had, would it still make sense I want to live? Should I just not die?'

Her thoughts ran wild but they run wild in a particular direction and that the direction had one answer.

So should she or should she not?