Chapter 106 - One Hundred And Six

"That I would have given you a divorce."

She stiffened at that. Her breathing had stopped for a moment. Her fingers had been tapping on the arm of the seat, and they too had stopped.

Tilting her face a bit, she blinked and breathed. "what?" She whispered.

"You heard it." He pointed. "Do not act like you do not understand it. You have more calibre than that."

"And what do you know about my calibre?" She asked in an accusing tone. Alexis noticed that she had stopped yelling altogether. She talked in a calm voice with a cold expression on her face that she had copied from him and that made her feel more mature. 

Somewhere, she had to agree, it made her feel invincible.

"Don't I?" He taunted with a sigh. "I thought I knew that instead of surrendering to everyone, you would flourish in this lifestyle and look at you." His eyes looked at her up and down. "Have you not?"

She didn't reply instead she kept on staring. Blinking her eyes, she did not seem to challenge him. "Is it bad that I flourished? Should you not be happy about what happened and how you were not disappointed?" She asked in return.

"I truly wish that there comes a day where you can fool me." He has a genuine smile. "But alas as it is, that day is not today."

"So I repeat my question," he had a hint of a smile on his lips, "Was I wrong to choose you as my queen?"

She didn't answer. She turned to look the other way. Somewhere, it felt that if she would answer his question it would be her defeat and that thought alone had her realising that he was right.

She had flourished.

So much so that she was not ready to admit where she was wrong and Alexis was anything but that. She took pride in not being arrogant and not being egoistic.

The worse had happened.

So he answered for her. "Here it is, you stood up to the man that harassed you sexually and you do not even regret it. In fact, he shot him dead"

That had infuriated her. "I am regretting it. I did not kill him to like it!" She hissed. She was not a murderer.

Stepping towards her he said, "what have you done for it? To ease your regret for killing him, you have done nothing and that is a fact."

Her eyes burned. Tears gathered and she sobbed out, "I am not a murderer." She whispered. "I killed because.."

"Because? Finish your sentence." He softly ordered.

She palmed her face and heaved. Why did she kill him? Because he had gropped her? A lot of women had gone through a lot more and they had taken the help of the judicial system of the country so, who was she to just murder him?

She had killed him in the presence of Angelo who had promised to dispose of the body and never speak of it again. But why did he have to was the question, why did she have to murder him?

She murdered him. She killed him.

So what did that make her?

A sudden wave of dizziness hit her making her fall off from the chair that she was sitting on, to the ground with her hands and knees touching the floor. Her chest and throat felt tightened and something was constricting her airflow, her mouth felt dry and she wanted to vomit. Gagging, she tried to vomit but nothing came out.

Something heavy was placed at her chest and it was stopping her from breathing. She had to get rid of it. She had to breathe and for that, she had to get rid of the weight. Her sight was dizzy, she saw nothing on her chest. But something was there or was it her throat?

Something was constricting her air supply and she had to breathe. She clawed at her throat, something had to be there. She clawed with her nails as desperately as she could, as Powerfully as she could.

She and to breathe for she could die.

Her head pounded. She could hear her heart beating in her head. Why, how could that be possible? Why was her heart in her head? Her head was bowing down, it was too much weight. There was no way in his she could handle it.

She gagged again. Something wanted to come out but was not getting past her throat. What was it? The dryness was causing her tongue to taste something weird. Something metallic.

She heaved and punched her chest. It was paining, her heart was beating quicker than before, her head got dizzier and her mind had one word going around it.

She ignored it but it was there. She could see it in front of her eyes. She didn't want to see it. How should she undo this? Scratch her eyes out? Poke them with needles? Or just kill her herself?

Her arms and knees gave up and she fell on the floor to her side. She could not handle it. She wanted to die. The pressure was too much.

"Here," he in a gentle voice cooed in her hear.

God?

Had she died already?

Arms gathered her to a strong chest and the gentle voice lulled her to calm. "Calm, my love, calm." It said.

Hands rubbed her back gently and swayed her side to side, gently as a mother did to her baby.

"It's alright," her head and dizziness went away. The heaviness was lifted. Everything became normal. 

How was everything falling apart in one minute and pushing itself back into place the other? On its very own?

"Sweetheart," someone cooed to her. She was too afraid to open her eyes and look at who was it. Maybe, opening her eyes would bring those haunting feelings back.

"You need to tell me what you think."

"No," she violently shook her head. "No! No! No!" She denied, crying out loud.

"That is the only way it would never come back and trouble you." The soft voice and affected her. Someone who must love her to talk to her like this.

"Say it, sweetie." It cooed. "Say it."

With wobbling lips, she finally broke her silence, "Murderer! I am a murderer!"