Chapter 159 - That’s What HE Said

Back over in MF’s Fashion Boutique, Miss Masher is lifting Lucas up with one hand, holding him up above her head as he does a one-armed handstand, their fingers interlocked for stability. Both of them are wearing cocky grins throughout the process of her bringing him up, maintaining their self-satisfied expressions while he shifts through a few different poses, with all of this being documented by Jonathan intermittently snapping some photos.

Lucas’s tie is hanging in front of his face for most of the shots captured, though. At least he has his dress shirt tucked into his pants, or he’d be showing off some serious dad bod, which would invariably trigger Miss Masher’s provocations to no end.

As the group had migrated back over towards their original location near the elevators over the course of their photoshoot thus far, the ding of one of the elevators newly arriving and sliding its doors open is clearly heard by the posing fools.

After a slight delay, 23 steps out, carrying a violin case as well as two high-backed chairs.

“Greetings. Your requests were passed along, and had I opted to tend to them on the collective’s behalf, as I had wished to speak with Mary regarding her workspace, regardless. Here you are, Josephine. Hopefully, Lucas, these chairs will suffice for your… desires.” 23 dutifully hands the violin case over to Josephine, and as it brings the chairs over towards where Miss Masher and Lucas are posturing, the pregnant pause in its statement is more effective than any creative wording it could have otherwise come up with, causing Miss Calculated to laugh.

“Hey! Hey! Don’t be like that! You just volunteered to be the first one to sit on it, buddy! Don’t give me that look! Mary ain’t goin’ nowhere anytime soon!” The still-upside-down Lucas scolds 23 from his elevated perch, as if 23 had the facial features required for the microexpressions he just anthropomorphized onto it.

Wisely, 23 just remains silent.

“Uhh, lemme down Marsha, let’s swap for a bit before all my blood rushes to my head. Don’t laugh! That was a long time… Sorta!” Upon Lucas making his request, Miss Masher had chuckled right away, whereas Miss Chievous starts cackling after his addition at the end.

“That’s what HE said!” Miss Chievous, as classy as always, is disproportionately proud about this particular crack, and she is rewarded with quite a bit of laughter.

“HEY! I’ll have you know that I do just fine, thank you very much! Tch, I walked right into that one though, I can’t even be mad.” After Lucas has finished protesting the negative implications regarding his bedroom prowess, he can’t resist laughing a bit as well. As Miss Masher starts lowering him down, she hums and gains a mischievous smile.

“Jon! Watch out! Let’s see if Mr. Fancy Pants always lands on his feet!” As soon as Miss Masher shouts this out, Jonathan dashes off to the side to safety, moving before even consciously considering what she might be about to do.

[!!!]

“Wait, wha-!?” Before Lucas can manage to question her, she has started swinging him down until his body is parallel with the ground in front of her, and then releasing her hold on his hand. While she doesn’t actively throw him downward, he still has some of the added momenta from her adjusting his position.

‘Ah, fuck!’

While 427 had been alarmed by Miss Masher bringing attention to Lucas’s preternatural coordination, he is greatly relieved by how inelegantly Lucas crashes onto the ground with a belly-flop. While he’d like to believe Lucas realized it was an opportunity to lighten suspicions, 427 knows better by now than to give him too much credit.

“I’m not a fucking cat, what the hell!?” After Lucas angrily shouts this out from the ground, he is every bit as graceless as he scrambles to stand up again as he was in his landing, earning quite a bit of laughter.

“Ha! I jus’ figured that since you seem to have way more control than me even without exercisin’ that maybe there was somethin’ fishy about you, but you were just showin’ off stuff you probably practiced!” As Miss Masher gloats over Lucas’s rough collision with the floor, Willy lifts his head up to look at her curiously before staring at Lucas for a little while.

Miss Calculated has a similar pattern to her shift in her line of sight as Willy, but her gaze on Lucas is for only a brief moment before her attention flicks over to Mikah, and then to the violin case in Josephine’s hands.

Lucas grumbles inarticulately as he neatens up his suit and tie. Shortly after he’s begun coarsely slapping the dust off of himself, a service bot from the nearest service desk has come over with a lint roller.

Not that it does so due to some inspiration on its own part. 23 had looked over and given a high-frequency instruction for it to do so. While this sound had been outside of Mark’s hearing capabilities, he does notice 23’s attention in the bot’s direction before it had dug around within the storage area beneath the service desk and then began its journey over. Putting this information together, Mark makes a curious hum, staring at 23 as he gains a look of deep contemplation.

Mikah seems briefly surprised, glancing at Mark and then 23, but rather than joining in Mark’s deliberations, he then turns his attention over towards Miss Calculated.

“Really, there’s no harm in asking.” As Mikah smilingly calls out Miss Calculated, she clears her throat but her expression remains smooth for the most part, almost as if she expected it.

“Ah, well… I was just… Ahem, Josephine, I was admittedly hoping you were planning on playing, at least a little bit. I’m sure the acoustics wouldn’t necessarily be optimal in here, and while recordings are fairly faithful nowadays, I just can’t help but think it must be a different experience in person…” While Miss Calculated trails off, she has a decidedly hopeful expression as she looks from Josephine’s face, down to her hands holding the case, and then back up to her face again.

Josephine looks briefly surprised, but, before long, she gains a genuine smile.

“I hadn’t expected you’d be a fan. I probably don’t have much more time before Richie shows up, but it should be long enough for a piece or two. This is actually one of my older violins, but given how much money someone paid to have me specifically sign and ship it to them, I can only imagine they’d consider it a value add if I were to use it one more time before sending it out. So, sure, is there a particular song you’d like to hear?” As Josephine proceeds to speak more at once than she had otherwise said the entire meetup thus far, Miss Calculated gains a large smile.

Miss Chievous and Miss Masher both quickly develop expressions that more or less convey ‘Oh no.’

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Lucas total kills: 7

Lucas total deaths: 11

Lucas total assists: 1

Lucas current GDV: 17.18

Lucas's fame level: 5.0* (Already beginning to receive authentic global attention. His local levels are effectively maxed.)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for many paranoid individuals, numerous people have realized he's an impulsive idiot.)

Jonathan total kills: 7

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 5.96

Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (What fame he does have is predominantly local.)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 3.0* (More than just overly-paranoid people are suspicious at this point.)

Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now.)

Supervillain social circle size: 15

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Little character theater:

Once Lucas had finished cleaning himself off, Miss Masher had shooed him and Jonathan back over towards where they have been doing their photoshoot, not wanting her sister’s imminent geek-out session to cause even more delays in tonight’s destructive plans.

Even though Dan had scolded Lucas about potential excessive junk food, he sure has stuffed Willy full of a lot of snacks. Granted, a lot of it was homemade chicken jerky, so it certainly could have been much unhealthier, but, even still...

427, still thinking over Miss Masher’s actions: ‘Right, just because she’s every bit as chaotic as Lucas, doesn’t mean she’s as dumb as him. She’s just… Single-minded. At least it seems that Willy and Miss Calculated are the only two to take it to heart... And it seems like Miss Calculated may have intentionally hidden that mental connection from Mikah? Hmm...’

Author, nodding along with 427’s musings: If anyone knows that knowledge is power, it’s good ol’ Mary. Not that she actively mistrusts Mikah, but if she had to pick an alliance out of the day’s new acquaintances thus far…

Mr. Quacks, inside the violin case, admiring how elegant Josephine’s signature is, despite the lack of a light source: Quack!