Chapter 3

“Mother…”

“An, my child.”

Hilda felt excruciating pain when she saw Anthea crying, so much that she could barely breathe.

“There is no need for you to worry. As your mother, I will protect you.”

The countess already thought of Anthea as her family. The lovely child got along very well with her one and only son, so if they were to get married, they’d be able to forever live a happy life. But that lovely child, Anthea, was trembling and crying.

“I’ll do everything I can to protect you so there is no need to cry.”

Hilda’s heart was in severe pain; she thought it would be ripped apart to shreds. She contemplated going to grab her sword right then. But then Anthea, who was always so happy, shook her head with tears still in her eyes.

“I heard there was a marriage proposal from the duke.”

“W-who said such things?”

I already know from reading the novel, but I’ll act as if I had just found out from the letter.

“T-this is…”

“If it’s an order from the Emperor then you can’t refuse.”

“No. We can’t just follow such an unreasonable order. Don’t worry, An. No matter what happens we’ll protect you.” (Nadan)

“But what about your dream, brother?”

Anthea’s words silenced everyone. The count couple was only thinking about ways to protect Anthea, that they had forgotten about Nadan.

They all watched as Anthea wiped away her tears. Anthea smiled awkwardly and stepped forward.

“Brother just got accepted into the ministry of finance.”

While the count couple was flustered about what to do, Nadan hugged Anthea.

“An, I’m fine. Don’t worry about that.”

“You said you enjoyed your work. You were so happy telling me about the important tasks you were given… And even though they always gave you odd jobs since you’re the youngest, you said that it was worth it.”

“An. There’s nothing in the world more important than you.”

Even in this unexpected situation, Nadan put Anthea first. He acted as if his work was nothing and continued to wipe away Anthea’s tears.

Anthea had intentionally wanted Nadan to show affection towards her, but this was far more affection than she had expected. Even though she had planned to be a part of their family, this was too much.

“Anthea.”

“Brother.”

“I would rather lose everything I have than send you away.”

This was similar to what the countess had said. The count couple nodded in agreement in Nadan’s words that he had said without hesitation.

Still, as Anthea thought, the count family loved her too much to the point that she wanted to stay with the count family forever.

Nadan, who was willing to take Anthea as his bride despite her broken body, and the count couple, who had naturally accept Anthea. They made Anthea’s heart wavered a bit because she wanted to continue receiving their love and returning love back to them. But, if Anthea remained at the count’s estate, the emperor would think the count family ignored his orders and would tear this family apart.

The world was still following the novel’s plot so Anthea had to continue with her plan. She must continue to smile so the count family won’t take dangerous measures to protect her.

“I love you dearly, brother. However, that is… familial love.”

They all loved and treated me like I was more than family.

Anthea watched the count couple’s expression as they reminisced about their happy days together. It’s obvious that they would misunderstand.

I once thought being engaged to Nadan was the best way to break the original novel’s plotline.

This is a world where political marriages are common and Nadan would’ve been a good candidate for my husband. Since I was the current Anthea, I definitely would’ve been helpful to the count household in the future so a political marriage wouldn’t be so bad between us.

I knew that my body would improve at the count’s estate which is why I showed affection to Nadan and relied on him. But my body was more of a mess than I had originally thought.

Anthea’s adoptive parents wanted her beauty to last forever so they fed her pills that would make her skin white every day. Those pills were too expensive for commoners to buy so they bought cheaper alternatives that were just poisonous herbs instead.

It’s a miracle I’m still alive. They needed to save money so they would break the pills into little bits and fed Anthea those bits every day. That’s probably the only reason Anthea is still alive right now.

That’s also probably why Anthea had so few childhood memories. Since her body was always in pain.

I didn’t think much of it when I read about this in the novel since I’m wasn’t the one going through the pain.

But a body that grows slowly and is so small to the point where it might be difficult to even bear a child, Anthea knew that she would not be useful to the count’s future.

Anthea, who had nothing, really only wanted one thing. It wasn’t power, authority, or treasures, but to have a normal family. So, getting married to Nadan and having his child was Anthea’s view of a normal life. But since I couldn’t possibly have kids, I gave up on breaking the course of the original story.

My Plan A ‘to be married before I received a marriage proposal from the duke’ was then canceled.

Plan B was to get married to the duke and then like the original story ‘get divorced as a villainess.’ I needed to make sure that even when I get kicked out of the duke’s estate, the count family would be willing to take me back in.

The count family’s obsession was sometimes flustering but I had to maintain this relationship with them for this purpose.

So even though she was crying, Anthea was acting decisively for Plan B to work.

“If I wanted to be brother’s bride then I probably begged you for it.”

The count couple was flustered since Anthea continued to stick close to Nadan and Nadan continued to hug Anthea. Anthea’s rejection did not match with her attachment to Nadan.

Hilda carefully held Anthea’s hand and pulled her closer. When she brought some distance from the count and Nadan, Hilda held Anthea’s hand tighter and softly whispered to her.

“My baby. Did you not want the engagement because of your body?”

Anthea was speechless.

Because the countess figured out Anthea’s Plan A to break the course of the story. Because the countess hit the bullseye, Anthea couldn’t say anything.

She couldn’t reply to the countess’s question and she bit her lip. Hilda smiled as if she was relieved.

“If it’s that, there is nothing to worry about.”

“What? But…”

The doctor at the count’s estate had carefully examined Anthea so Hilda also knew that her body wasn’t perfect for a woman. (1)

“There is no need to worry about such things for the next 10 years. I’ll get a better doctor for you and medicine.”

“Mother.”

The count’s motherly kindness made Anthea momentarily forget about the plan. Her words made Anthea calmer.

“Even if you don’t have a child 10 years later. An, my baby. It’s fine.”

“R…really?”

“Of course. Nadan can bring in a second wife and you will have a child.” (2)

Anthea who seemed happy became stiff, which made the countess hold Anthea’s hand tighter, to reassure her.

“There’s nothing to worry about. In the end, we won’t bring in a lady Anthea dislikes.” (3)

Hilda’s considerate words made Anthea remember that the world inside this novel isn’t like the modern world she lived 20 years of her previous life in. No matter how kind and good-natured they are, they are still nobles. They’re still the household of a count. Anthea couldn’t say that she would still be happy without a child.

That even if we remained as we are now, caring for and loving each other, we would all eventually meet a bad end.

“An, my baby. Lift your head up. We can always wait for you. It’s alright so please smile.”

Anthea was happy with the sweet affection she received from them but she would be sad every time she remembered that this is just a world inside of a novel. (4)

Why is my heart hurting over this now? Didn’t I act all sweet just to depart from them in the future?

Anthea got control of her feelings.

“Mother, I-”

“An.”

“Ah, brother.”

Nadan couldn’t hear Hilda’s whispers but he felt that the atmosphere around Anthea had changed so he approached her.

Nadan probably has the same thoughts as the countess. But even if he wasn’t thinking the same thing, he was still Count Leslie’s successor. It would just be delaying the inevitable. (5)

From the beginning, it wasn’t love for Anthea. The most important thing was to minimize the chances of danger even with her horrible body.

So, she erased all her hesitations and began to speak.

“I don’t want anyone to face difficulties for me.”

“Difficulties? Anthea, the most difficult thing would be to send you away.”

“I wish for nobody to get hurt.”

All of their expressions changed.

“Mother. Please don’t say such scary words like storming the imperial palace with a sword.”

“Ah… An, my baby.”

“The most important thing for me is that mother, father, and brother don’t get hurt.

Hilda, who finally figured out what Anthea was most scared of, knit her brows.

Anthea was afraid that the count would run to the imperial palace and get hurt. That the countess might get hurt after carrying a sword for the first time in a dozen years. Or that Nadan’s future would be difficult.

So she smiled as she cried like she should be the only one to get hurt.

“Since it’s a marriage proposal for me, please give me the permission to accept or decline. I beg of you.”

The count couple went silent because Anthea had basically said she would listen to the emperor’s order.

Nadan let go of Anthea and he looks into her eyes. His eyes were still filled with kindness for Anthea but they trembled from seeing Anthea’s pitiful tear marks.

TRANSLATOR NOTES:

1. Meaning there is a chance Anthea might be unable to have a child.

2. She’s suggesting that Nadan has a child with his second wife and then Anthea adopts the child as her own.

3. ‘Lady’ as in the 2nd wife.

4. That their emotion might be fake/they’re just following the course of the novel.

5. He will end up being forced to bring in a 2nd wife eventually.