32 If It Weren'st for You

Amalia rolled over sometime later. Startled to see the sight of Hunter sleeping beside her. It had been the best sleep she had had in months. She had barely slept at all since her father's passing. Her nights had always been filled with nightmares and cold sweats. The previous night had been a first for many things.

Amalia rose from the bed silently. She couldn't help but wince as she stood, her body aching in several places from the previous night's activities.

Amalia bit her lip to keep any unnecessary sounds from escaping and her way to the bathroom to shower and clean up. Thinking back to the previous night while she cleaned herself up she could feel a fresh blush creeping over her skin. It was embarrassing to think about it. She couldn't believe she had actually done that, with the leader of Satan's Foot Soldiers. The big scary boss had been anything but big and scary the night before.

As she thought about it, she realized over time, Hunter had become a lot less intimidating to her in the time since she started. When had her thoughts toward him changed? It wasn't that she had ever been truly afraid it of him, but there had been a sense of respect and awe which had now become something entirely more different.

It was amidst this musing she heard the phone ring. Startled from her thoughts she ran out of the shower and picked it up with shaking hands. There was only one person who ever called her this early.

"Hello.," she mumbled into the phone. She held her breath as she waited for the reply and dreaded it at the same time.

"Ms. Patterson, its Dr. Nichol, I'm afraid we need you to come to the hospital immediately. Your grandfather has taken a turn for the worst."

Amalia's world began to swim as she listened. Her heart plummeted and slowly began to break. She went into shock as she stood there motionless a few moments as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ms. Patterson.." came the gentle voice over the line.

Amalia sucked in a deep breath, her voice cracked as she answered. "I..I understand, I'll be right there.." Hanging up the line she tucked her cell into her pocket and quickly dressed. She didn't stop even once to look in on the man who lay sound asleep in her bed.

*****

A few hours later Hunter rolled over in his sleep, his arm reaching for what should have been the warmth of a usually prickly female. Instead, his arm met only empty sheets. Immediately, his eyes flew open.

He didn't spare a single moment to look for his for clothing as there was no risk of being found out. Even if there was, his only concern was for Amalia. He tore through her room with the speed of a professional. Having failed to find her in the room he searched the remainder of the house he made his way through the hallway.

The dampness coming from the bathroom caught his attention. Upon entering he was immediately met with the sight of wet towels and clothing strewn about the floors. The faucet was still dripping at a leisurely rate making a soft tap tap tap on a shower floor.

Amalia was nowhere in sight. Hunter surveyed the chaos she had left the bathroom in with the instincts of a soldier. The floors were still moderately wet. The water had been shut off in a hurry. And there was a trail of water droplets by the bathroom counter where he assumed she had left her phone. He froze. His heart dropped in beat until it was almost stilled completely. There was only one thing he knew of which would have this impact on her. Without sparing another glance at the bathroom Hunter rushed downstairs. Her shoes and her jacket were gone.

In the space of a few moments, Hunter returned to her bedroom, threw on his clothes and sped all the way to the hospital. As he had before he simply entered his grandfather's room. Amalia sat by her grandfather's side holding his hand as she had in days passed, sobbing heartbrokenly. The doctor who had been previously consulting her looked utterly helpless.

Hunter cleared his throat and motioned for the doctor to follow him out of the room.

"I know I have no right to ask, but what's the prognosis?"

The doctor hesitated only a moment. He wasn't sure exactly what the relationship was between the two of them, but he had witnessed their closeness first hand. Not only that, as he stood there studying the young man before him, he could see the obvious concern for the girl etched all over his features.

Doctor Nichols reached for Hunter's arm and in a hushed voice, away from the eyes of the rest of the staff he whispered.

"It's her grandfather. He took a turn for the worse overnight. I'm..afraid he won't. Due to the severity of his stroke, he is only barely breathing just now. Were it not for the machines, I'm not sure he could breathe on his own."

Hunter paled, listening to the doctor his face and eyes going solemn and filling with worry for the young girl in the room next to them.

"..What else?"

The doctor sighed.

"I'm afraid, even if by chance he does manage to breathe on his own. He has lost all function of the right side of his body. His hands and feet are unresponsive. There's a good probability that with the amount of damage to his brain...he may not be able to even eat or care for himself."

Hunter felt the air drain from his lungs. He had managed to give Amalia a moment of peace, but it seemed like the storm he had been trying to shield her from had come. It was evident by the doctor's words, that it was a losing battle. Even if they could sustain her grandfather with the machines there was no guarantee he would pull through.

"I understand. I will talk to her, does she have any other next of kin?"

The doctor could only shake his head solemnly.

"We have tried on several occasions to reach out the patient's other children with no avail. I am afraid, we will have to make a choice."

Hunter swallowed. The dryness in his throat choked him and he could only curse the powers that be. This poor kid, was she ever going to catch a break? He wondered.

"Thanks, Doc. I will see what I can do."

Leaving the doctor behind Hunter returned to the girl. On instinct, he reached out to her as he had before only to feel her body stiffen.

"Lia.." He coaxed her, trying hard to retain his composure. He couldn't break in front of her now. She needed him.

Amalia shrugged his hand off and turned to glare at him through tear stained eyes.

"Leave! Get out of here!!" She yelled at him, shaking. Deep down she knew it was wrong, there was a small part of her shouting at her that it was wrong. It wasn't his fault. But she couldn't help herself. She needed someone to blame. Someone to be angry at, and as always, Hunter was there.

"Lia...It's ok. The doctors told me. I..I know you must be scared right now.." He tried to reason with her. How to reason with a wild animal though? And at this moment, that was exactly what Amalia was. Wild. Raging. Incoherent.

Amalia shoved him with the force of all the pain she was feeling. Glaring at him, she gritted her teeth.

"Tell me! What is it? What exactly is it that you think you know?" She spat at him, accusingly. "What could you possibly know! You only think you know! You come in here, acting all chivalrous! Thinking you're some knight in shining armor or something! But.. but...If it had been for you...If I had been here...I could have.."

Amalia couldn't finish. The words broke into heart-wrenching sobs as her shoulders heaved relentlessly with their force. She gasped between each sound, fighting to breathe. Everything she had been feeling, just piled up in her heart falling out in her words. It was too late to take them back now. Not only that, she couldn't. Maybe this would give her the distance she needed. She didn't know. She only knew one thing, her grandfather was pretty much dead. And instead of passing his remaining hours at his side. She had been with Hunter.

Much as she hated him. She hated herself more. Herself, and her stupid weakness.

What had she been thinking? She was a soldier. Soldiers didn't need love. They didn't need anything. Most specifically, they didn't need anyone.

Hunter watched as the girl who moments ago had raged at him in despair became cold as ice. This was perhaps more heartbreaking than having her cry herself out all those many times. The walls around her heart had gone back up in a matter of moments. The effect was dizzying.

He nodded wordlessly at her words. He would give her the distance she needed but that didn't mean he would pull back, leaving the room he looked over at Doctor Nichol with a helpless glance. Then shrugging his shoulders he left the hospital. But not before making one last phone call.