Chapter 131 - A Chat With God [II]

"You're asking me that?" I scoffed incredulously. 

Astrid shrugged in her seat and flipped her long hair behind her shoulders, indifferent to my pure shock. 

"Up to you to answer." She smiled, her eyes staring intently into mine.

I gulped. God had just asked me if I had found love in this life, since I was void of it in my last one. How do I tell her that I wasn't mingled in some romance story like she expected me to be?

"Indeed, it is right." I sighed, giving up. "I have found love, but not quite in the way you might think."

Astrid raised an eyebrow. 

"I found love not in any way romantic or sexual," I said as I stared down at my hands, "but I found warm love. Love you receive from people who actually care about you. Good people, kind people..." I felt tears drip down my cheeks as I came to realize how lucky I really was to have found love. It's true that I wasn't romantically interested in either any man or woman, but I didn't need to, when all these thoughtful people kept on doting on me.

"Why in the world are you crying?" Astrid exclaimed as she sat straight, alert. "Have I said something to upset you?" 

I shook my head, flustered as I wiped my tears.

"No," I sniffed. "It's just that I've always thought of my life in this fictional world similar to a curse. Days I wondered if God had punished me for any of my wrongdoings, but I'm just now realizing how much of a blessing it had been."

A fond smile appeared on Astrid's face as I spoke in small sobs. 

"You're welcome," she said as she poured herself another cup of tea. "I reincarnate souls not fit for their own worlds, and that's exactly what I did to yours after it passed away."

I stopped crying momentarily and stared at Astrid in puzzlement as I wondered about what she had just said.

"You reincarnate souls that pass away?" I asked as I wiped clean my tears. This wasn't time for tearing up. I had questions to ask. "Does that mean I'm actually dead back in my previous world?" 

Astrid nodded. "Of course."

My eyes widened as I realized what that meant. "B-But what happened to Juwon? Is he alright?"

Astrid chuckled as she tried to take a sip of her tea, and ended up spilling some on her emerald colored dress. But with a flick of her wrist, the stain vanished before my eyes, leaving me unsurprised by now. 

"Your brother," Astrid started as she put her cup down, "is in a state anyone's sibling would be after the passing away of their loved sister."

I smiled sadly. "I wasn't loved. At least, I don't think so."

Astrid shrugged. "Your brother loved you very much, even if he failed to show it. I created him as a boy with some mental problems, not because I wanted to inflict pain on the little boy, but because I wanted to see how he dealt with the issue. Lucky for him, you were always there to help him whenever things got hard. Would you like to see how he's doing now?"

I nodded eagerly, sitting at the edge of my seat. "I would like that very much."

With another click of her fingers, Astrid made the previous screen reappear and this time, instead of the footage of me sleeping peacefully in my bed, I saw another very familiar setting.

The grey carpet...the one window with the broken blinds...the dead plant in the corner...the stained couches… Everything in our living room was the same as the day I left. Nothing, not even the flower vase in the middle of the table with the droopy looking carnations was out of place,

"That's your brother right there." Astrid pointed to the little boy that sat at the table with his head low into a textbook. "And that-" She pointed at the woman sitting beside him, "-is your second eldest sister. Her name was Seonghee, if I remember correctly."

I nodded. "Seonghee Lim."

Seonghee sat beside Juwon on the table, jabbing fingers at his textbook while she shouted at him.

"You useless boy!" she exclaimed, frustrated at him. The voice that escaped from the screen was slightly static, but otherwise perfectly audible. "I don't know how Seonhee ever taught you, but really, she must've been a miracle worker."

I flinched at the mention of my real name, and it took me a minute to regain my posture. Even without turning to look at her, I knew Astrid was watching me closely. 

"12 times 2 is 24, you idiot! 24! How come you keep writing 20?" Seonghee sighed. "At this rate, you'll fail school for sure. At times like this, I sure do wish Seonhee was still here."

I gulped in anticipation, wondering what Juwon would say. In truth, I expected him to remain silent and take all the abuse in without protest, but what he did next left me speechless. 

"You're the useless one!" he cried, banging his fists on the table. "If you had even a grain of Seonhee's brains, I would've been able to understand what you're trying to say. How come you always blame it on me when you can't even teach me properly?"

I knew my mouth was wide open, and I made no effort to close it. 

"H-H-He's talking!" I cried, happy and sad at the same time. "It's the first time I've really heard him talk."

Astrid chuckled. "Your death must've really affected him. I guess he realized the need to stand up for himself when no one around him was willing to do so anymore."

A fresh flow of waterworks escaped my eyes as I looked at my little brother. I had expected him to go into a full state of depression after I left, but to think my passing away had done him more good than bad made me really relieved, and for the first time, I was truly free of tension. 

"He'll be okay..." I sniffed. "Yeah, he'll be okay on his own."

Astrid turned the screen off and we turned to each other once again. She offered me a napkin to wipe my tears with and I took it gratefully. 

"Happy now?" she asked, interlacing her fingers on the table. "At the end of the day, everything was for the best."

"Thank you, Astrid. Really, thank you very much."

She smiled. "Just doing God's work. Now!" She leaned in and looked at me, the tone of her voice changing completely. "How have you thought about saving yourself from your tragic ending?"

It took me a minute to understand what she meant, and when I did, I sobered up in moments.

"I guess we have no choice about killing the Emperor. Say, God,"- I frowned- "is there any other option?"

Astrid laughed sing-songily. "My, how bold of you. I'm afraid the man's days are already numbered, and I'd love to have a word with him after he passes away. We're due for a nice little chat."

I frowned, confused. "But Astrid," I started, "he's a fictional character. He isn't real. Would his sins really count as his own, since they were always predetermined?"

Astrid smiled eerily, and for a moment, the lights around us dulled to almost a faint glow. 

"The man's vile deeds were always his own to pick and choose. The story your little friend read in the real world was based on an account of a person who had lived their past life in your current world. It's rare that I mess these things up, but I guess it happens."

I stared at her. "You sent me in the past, then?"

Astrid nodded and smirked.. "I need you to fix things."