Chapter 123 - Two beer cans can turn me into this

Kang Si An doesn't stay for dinner. He goes to his apartment and lies down on the bed. He closes his eyes, not trying to feel anything.

Next day, he calls Manager Jeong. Manager Jeong has been facing problems because of him. He owes a lot of people. He's been living his life in any way he wanted. He promised to become a better person. He wants to be the person she can look up to. He will do his best to make amends with Kyuri.

Kyuri doesn't treat Kang Si An warm or cold whenever he visits Little Hae. Kyuri's family also accepts the situation. They don't dislike Kang Si An, but they hope that things won't turn more complicated than it is.

On a day before the anniversary party, Young Hwa's parents meet with a small accident. However, his father gets a heart attack due to the shock of getting into the accident. He's admitted to the hospital. The wedding anniversary party has to be canceled and the wedding has to be postponed.

Young Hwa is distraught because of his father's condition. She stands by his side and says, "Your father will get better. His mind is strong. His will is stronger. I know it."

He looks at her and smiles tiredly. "You don't know how much your words mean to me."

She pats his forearm. "There are only good days ahead."

Her words turn out to be true. His father's condition gets better.

***

"Mommy isn't getting married." Little Hae complains to Kang Si An. "Daddy is always busy too."

Young Hwa has been busy taking care of his father. There's also work. He couldn't spend much time with Little Hae. Kyuri has been visiting the hospital regularly too. Young Hwa can't handle everything alone.

"Your grandfather is sick." He tells her with a soft voice, "After he gets better, they will get married."

"Little Hae will wait." She sighs like an old man. "Hungry."

"What do you want to eat?" He carries her downstairs. The child is always hungry these days. It's good. She will grow faster this way. He wants to make something for her.

He hopes that Kyuri's mother will allow him to use the kitchen.

She giggles and says, "Ice cream."

"I am also craving it." Kang Si An chuckles. "Let's get ice cream and come back before your mother finds out."

Father and daughter sneak out of the house before Kyuri could catch them.

***

Since Little Hae is young, Kyuri doesn't let her stay with Kang Si An on weekends. Instead, she tells him to stay at her place on the weekends. He can come and stay all day with Little Hae if he wants. When Little Hae gets older, she can stay over at his place. Kang Si An doesn't complain. Anything is fine as long as he can spend time with his daughter.

She wonders when did he become so easy to handle.

Young Hwa's parents decide the wedding date again. The wedding will happen after a week. Everyone is excited including Little Hae. Kyuri is little resigned, but she joins the excitement anyway.

Kang Si An has noticed this, but he doesn't say anything to her. Since it is her decision, he can't say anything. Young Hwa is not a bad man. He will keep her happy.

"It is working out for the best." She stares at the stars. "Young Hwa cares about me and Little Hae. He's a good father. Little Hae loves him. I also..."

It's difficult to say the word when one is alone.

"It's not like there's nothing." She sips the beer. "I am already married to him though."

For Kyuri, the wedding has more meaning than signing the papers and getting the 'married' label.

It might not be same for other people.

She recalls her first wedding. It was simple and yet, it held so much meaning. At that time, she liked Li Jun, but she didn't intensely love him the way he loved her. It was so long ago. If...

That 'if' is dangerous. She can't turn back time. She won't lose Little Hae. She will never regret changing things, even if things didn't work out between her and Li Jun in the end.

Yet, on days like this when she's drunk and staring at the stars, she wishes to be held the way Li Jun once held her.

"It's funny how you are alive and here." She whispers to the stars. "Yet, you are not here. Did you ever think that our love would end in tragedy? It was probably written for this end since the moment we met."

The stars can't answer her questions. One who can answer her isn't there.

"There are too many good memories of us." She wraps her arms around her knees and rests her head on her knees. "We did love once. I am not someone like you who keeps his every promise. I will stop hating you. I will move on. Kang Si An, this is the last time I will forgive you since you make my Little Hae happy. If you make more mistake again or hurt her even once, I will kill you myself."

Kang Si An can't hear those words. Feeling tipsy, she walks back to her room and drops on her bed. Next day, she wakes up with a bad headache.

"I am so old." She looks into her reflection. There are dark circles around her eyes and a dried drool patch on her chin. She looks haggard. It's hard to believe that she's only 24. "Two beer cans can turn me into this."

Little Hae is not on the bed. She goes out of the room to look for her daughter and comes across face to face with Kang Si An.

If it was previous her, she would have run back into her room and cried for showing this side. She's not the same person. Showing this side doesn't bother her. Not at all. Honestly.

She hasn't forgotten what she said to the stars last night, though she wishes to. "Why are you here?"

He blinks at her with surprise, not knowing what to say. He didn't even know that she was in the house. He came up to get Little Hae's doll and ended up running into her. He is stunned to see her ghostly appearance. Did something happen to her? Should he ask? Will she get mad?

"I am here to get something that Little Hae wanted." He points at the Little Hae's room. Fearing that she might hate him for asking, he still asks her, "Are you okay?"

Her hangover is getting worse. She waves her hand and goes back to her room. She's not okay.