Chapter 213: Love you from the last of my existence

Ari stands up, sighing. She turns her head toward the door. Adira and Ai are already here, watching her in silence. 

"When did you come here?" Ari asks Adira solemnly. 

"Why did you kill her?" Adira steps toward her with a calm expression. He has only seen Chaos' being killed by Ari. It was too late to stop. 

Ari is a goddess, just like Kresi. When Ari and Kresi were mortals, they could hide their god essence somehow. Both of them must have been strong. 

Her real name is Abyss.

She has just killed a god. 

A god can't be killed, but its consciousness can be sent back to where it came from. In the future, Chaos will come back, although it's unlikely that she will ever be the same. 

Just like a mortal dies and reincarnates again in a new body, a god can 'die' and come back in the same body. However, the god's consciousness will be reset. It's similar to what Ari has done to the forsaken creatures. 

It's a form of death. 

He grabs her arm, lifting it. There are purple cracks on Ari's hand, trailing up to her upper arms, disappearing into her sleeves. "What have you done?"

There are going to be repercussions. Killing a god is a sin graver than any other sin in the world. She's already a forsaken one. Though he knows that she can't die, he is afraid. What if she gets wiped out as Chaos did? 

"Go back to Iravan." She smacks his chest in an attempt to push him away. Her voice is weak and frail as if she would disappear anytime. Ari closes her eyes, losing her footing. How long can she hold herself? "Misaki is in Iravan. Take care of our daughters, please."

"Ari." Adira gasps when he notices the cracks appearing on her cheeks. He wraps his arms around her, making her body lean on him. 

"What happened to her?" Ai questions him with a shaky voice. His eyes widen when he sees purple gleams in the cracks on Ari's face. Her skin is turning grey, losing colours. 

"Ari, Ari," Adira calls her name, shaking her body. "Don't you dare leave me again, Ari. Please forgive me for forgetting you."

"Mother, you can't die." Ai bursts into tears. "Don't disappear again. What will I do without you?"

Ari's eyes flutter. She opens her eyes slightly. There's a searing pain through her veins. Erasing Chaos' name has taken too much of her. She's already weak after naming all the forsaken creatures and changing Oblivion into Haven. Now, there's a rebound. One by one, all the faces of Chaos are disappearing from the universe. 

"It's meant to happen," She mumbles with a pained voice as she struggles to straighten her back. She can face whatever happens to her. But her daughter must be in pain. "Find Misaki, Adira."

"I won't go anywhere without you," Adira tells her. "Don't worry about Misaki. A part of me is in that world. He will find Misaki as long as she's in Iravan."

"Seriously…" She lets out an exasperated sigh. Chaos isn't completely bad. Sometimes, Chaos is needed. Killing a god will create a new imbalance before things resume to the way it was. There's imbalance outside. Her presence is affecting the mind of people. The mortals are going mad, hurting each other. She needs to leave this world as soon as possible. "You are still clingy. Didn't I say that you and I can't be together?" 

"Ari." Adira senses her crumbling in his arms. Chaos' reset is also affecting her. "Why did you do it? Why do you keep hurting yourself?"

"I am glad that…" She smiles at him. "Misaki looks like you."

"You could have waited for me." Adira cups her face. Ai's soft sobs echo in the hall. The mansion is slowly disintegrating away. Everything that was created by Chaos is dissipating back to nature. Even Ari is on the verge of dying. 

"I am a forsaken one." Ari inhales and exhales, feeling her true name disappearing. She corrects herself, "My body won't die."

"Tell me what to do," Adira yells at her. "You can't leave again, Ari."

"I died ten years ago." Ari says to him in a melancholic tone, "I died the day I fell into the river of death. I am sorry for being mad at you earlier. Even if you came to the river of death that day after hearing my call, you wouldn't be able to save me. I was already gone by then. A part of my consciousness held on tightly because I wanted to come back for you and my children. But I also held a grudge against you. I was mad when I found out that Misaki wasn't found."

"Be mad at me." Adira rubs her tears away with his trembling hand. "Don't say words like this. I am fine if you are angry at me. Please hold on to yourself, Ari. You must keep your name. Don't go away… not like this."

If the true name is gone, the person is completely gone. 

"Abyss won't die." Ari blinks her eyes slowly. It hurts her to move her lips. "Just like, Chaos can't die. I am a forsaken one. This body can't die either."

"Ari, my Ari…" Adira looks into her eyes. "What about my Ari? I want you."

"Unfortunately, Ari must die." Her voice trembles as she says the next words, "I made her pay for her sins. I must pay for mine. I am sorry, Adira. I keep hurting you like this. But I had to do this. Too much has happened. She and I must go for the balance to come back. When I wake up again, I will be Abyss only. I am leaving Ai, Misaki, and Misumi to you. Please give them the love of both mother and father. You must make Misaki believe that she deserves happiness even if she was a face of chaos once."

Adira shakes his head at her. "Ari, you can't do this to me again."

"Mother, Mother, can't you shape your own true name?" Ai holds her hand. "I am sure that we can do something. We can save your existence. Tell us if there's a way."

"My name was destroyed ten years ago. What you see now is a ghost of that name," Ari reveals it to him. "Ai, take care of your sisters and father after I am gone. Don't forget to find your happiness."

"You have to be here." Adira embraces her tightly. "Ari, I won't let you go. No matter what, I won't let you go."

Ari listens to his heartbeat. It's beating loudly. She recalls everything that happened from the moment she met him. She had to leave him many times. Once, she did it to save him. Later, she left him to save someone else. A regret itches her heart. Maybe she should have trusted him a little. Maybe all of this could have been prevented. Who knows what would have happened? One can only speak about the decisions that one had taken in the past. 

Her body can't remain in any world other than Haven.

"I heard that Rilyah is in Qeshaya. Free her. She's been punished enough," She whispers. "I will be gone soon. Bury me in Haven."

Bury her? Adira's body quivers. "Ari, I won't bury you."

When she hears his broken voice, she lifts her head to look up at Adira. His cheeks are stained with tears. His dark eyes are filled with such sorrow that her heart throbs in pain. Why did she have to hurt him again? 

"Don't take my body to Iravan. It will hurt other people." Ari gathers the last of her strength to give him access to Haven. "After you bury me, you must leave with Ai and Aren. Promise me that you won't stay there. You have to raise our children, Adira. You can't stay in that world."

"Ari, don't ask me to be away from you… not anymore," Adria croaks. "Erase my name too. Kill me and take me with you. I don't want to live in this world without you."

"I am sorry, Adira." Ari rests her head on his chest, closing her eyes. Her voice trails off. "No matter what, I love you from the last of my existence."

Her hands become limp. Adira releases a loud heart wrenching cry as the last of her true name withers away.