Chapter 209: You as my mother

"I don't see you as my mother." 

Ari opens her mouth slightly, unable to digest the words uttered by her daughter. 

Strands of Misaki's dark hair is fluttering with the breeze. Her eyes are clear and tranquil. Despite being only a ten-year-old girl, Misaki doesn't have the look that belongs to a child. 

"What are you saying?" Ari's voice breaks. Maybe she has heard it wrong. Maybe Misaki is confused. "Misaki, I am your mother."

"Lady, didn't you hear me?" Misaki stares at her steadily. "I don't see you as my mother. I am one of the faces of Chaos. That's all I am."

After hearing those words, Ari inhales sharply. The ache in her heart intensifies. Ari looks at Chaos, hiding all the emotions. "You brainwashed her mind."

"I only told the truth." Chaos cocks her head with a sly smile on her lips. "Is it not true that she's one of my faces?"

Even if it's the truth, there's no reason for Misaki to being like this. Ari glances at Misaki again. Her daughter looks a lot like Adira. When she rescued Adira from Qeshaya, he had a similar build like Misaki back then. This child is their daughter. Nothing can ever change that. 

"It's true." Misaki raises her chin and meets Ari's silver eyes. "I decided to stay with her. She didn't force me."

"I see." Ari scrutinizes her face. "I will deal with her later. Come with me first."

"No." Misaki frowns at her. "Lady, are you dumb? Didn't you die already? How could I accept forsaken creature as my mother? Won't you infect me if you touch me?"

For someone who has died twice, Ari finds herself shattering when she hears those words. She takes a step back away from Misaki, breathing in the air sharply. Tears sting her eyes. "Misaki…"

"Stop acting hurt." Misaki scowls at her. "I refuse to accept a forsaken creature as my mother. There's a reason why the forsaken creatures are banished. You know it well. Then, why do you still want to play my mother?"

"Because I wanted to see you…" Ari croaks. "No matter what I am, you are still --"

"Didn't you come here alone?" Misaki interrupts her. "Oh, I remember. You came here with Ai. Did you say that he's my elder brother? But he and I don't share the same mother or father. My father didn't accept him as his son. Then, how could he be my brother?"

She's just a child. Ari tries to calm herself. Misaki became like this because of Chaos. It was her fault for not being able to protect her back then. Misaki grew up without love and care.

"A forsaken creature shouldn't dwell in the world of living for long." Misaki cocks her head. "Don't tell me… you want to take me with you because you want me to become like you? What a heartless creature you are!"

Ari can't speak. Words simply won't form on her lips. 

"A goddess of forsaken one." Misaki sighs. "Geez! I don't ever want to tell people that you are my birth mother. It was better if I was an orphan."

"Misa…" Ari forces herself to speak, making some distance between her and her daughter. "Even if you hate me, you still have your father and your sister. Don't you want to meet Misumi or your father?"

Misaki blinks her eyes slowly. "Wasn't I abandoned by Father?"

"What?" Ari furrows her brows. "He had never abandoned you."

"He took Misumi with him." Misaki sneers at her. "When he regained his memories, he started looking for you."

"That's not --" Ari realizes that she can't refute those words. "He didn't know about you back then. Chaos' face Ryou stole you."

"What happened after he knew about me?" Misaki clicks her tongue. "After he remembered, I didn't matter anymore. Then again, why would he want a daughter who is the face of Chaos?"

Ari, filled with a desperate feeling, reaches for her daughter's shoulder. Misaki creases her forehead, raising her hand in fear. Seeing that, Ari retracts her hand.

In reality, she can choose who can become a forsaken creature or not. But it's also true that forsaken creatures affect other mortals, only if mortals are exposed to them for a long time.

However, she has given new names to the forsaken creatures whom she brought to Haven. It remains to be seen how those creatures will change in the future. 

A selfish part of her wants Misaki to become a forsaken creature. She wants her daughters to grow up in Haven. Maybe it won't matter as long as they are together. However, she would be taking away her daughters' rights.

Nevertheless, she can't stay in this world for long. 

"Your father didn't abandon you," Ari tells her slowly, steeling herself. Her heart has been stabbed with needles multiple times. She doesn't want to show that she's hurt. But words often leave scar worse than physical wounds. "Noras is looking for you. If he had known who Kresi was, he would have found you already."

"Tch!" Misaki wrinkles her nose. "I don't care anymore. I have decided to cut off my relationship with all of you."

"Misaki!" Ari implores her. The child is ten-year-old. "Meet your father and your sister. The love you a lot. Besides, Ai hasn't turned into a forsaken creature. It's same with Aren. You can come with me for a while -- No, if that's not fine, we can go to Iravan directly and meet your sister."

"Lady." Misaki takes a deep breath when she sees tears in Ari's eyes. "I didn't know that forsaken creatures could cry. You are making me feel bad. Tell me whether someone like you should meet Misumi."

"Do you loathe me that much?" Ari whispers before she can stop herself. 

"Aren't you supposed to be loathed?" Misaki gives her a cruel smile. "Forsaken creatures are born from the filth of the creatures who couldn't cross the river of death. They are never complete. You died that day, Lady. The person who you are now is not the woman who gave birth to me -- and you were Chaos' enemy. Then, you are also my enemy."

Ari falls on her knees. Tears roll out on her cheeks. She looks up at her child with disbelief. Enemy? She won't ever see her child as an enemy. 

"If you hate Chaos, you also hate me," Misaki declares in an emotionless tone. "Anyway, even if you don't hate me, I already hate you. I don't know why you would pretend to be Misumi and my mother. Takayama Ari, the woman who gave birth to me, was a human. She died that day. You are pretending to be that woman."

"That's not true," Ari replies weakly. "Misaki, I am your mother. I became like this because I wanted to return to you, Misumi and everyone else."

"Is that what you believe?" Misaki steps closer to her. "Why aren't you with my Father then?"

Why isn't she with Adira? She hasn't expected to be questioned like this. Ari doesn't know how to answer. 

"Chaos showed me what happened." Misaki keeps an arm-length distance between her and Ari. "You aren't married to my father. Also, you refused to be with him again. Tell me why did you do it. Ari Takayama loved my father a lot. Then again, you are a forsaken creature. I am not sure if creatures like you can even feel love."

"Who taught you these things?" Ari questions her sternly. She turns her head toward Chaos. "How dare you poison my child's mind!"

"You are blaming me again." Chaos rolls her eyes. "Say, Ari, do you truly feel love?"

"Of course, I do," Ari screams at her. "That's why I am here."

"Is that so?" Chaos chuckles. "Misaki, you should give a chance to your birth mother. Otherwise, she will continue to blame me for your decisions."

"What decisions?" Ari scoffs at her. "Misaki is a kid. She doesn't know what is right. You taught her to become how she is today."

How could a child learn to talk like that? Kyo was never like this. She wasn't like either when she was young. If a true god like Adira couldn't be like this, then why would a face of a god act like this? 

"I don't expect a forsaken creature to have the intelligence to understand me." Misaki climbs down the stairs, heading toward Chaos. She stops beside her and holds her hand. "Forsaken Goddess, my mother is Chaos. You are not my mother."