Chapter 192: These creatures inside me

Wakana drags the woman toward the shore, further away from the edge of the river. She lays her down and checks her breathing. Then, she shakes her head. Both of them are already dead, aren't they?

"Normally." Wakana wrinkles her nose. "People shouldn't be alive after spending so much time in the river without an oxygen mask." 

But both of them are breathing, even if it's only for pretence. Wakana scrutinizes the woman's face — she has an oval face, pallid skin, and bluish lips that are regaining colour. The woman's nails are black and a little longer than they should be. Wakana wonders how did this woman end up inside the river.

All the forsaken ones have disappeared from the air.

"Excuse me?" Wakana leans closer to the woman cautiously. The woman hasn't moved a bit since she brought her outside the river. Is she dead? Right! She can't be more dead. But she should say something. Wasn't she saying something in the river a while ago? Why isn't she saying anything now? "Please open your eyes."

The woman doesn't open her eyes. 

"This is frustrating." Wakana exhales, "I can't leave you and it's too cold to be here with you."

The woman's lips tremble. "Adi…"

"What?" Wakana moves her ear closer to her lips. "Say it again.

"...Ra" 

"Ra?" Wakana blinks her eyes. What does Ra mean? She heard of an Egyptian god 'Ra.' Is her name Ra? She looks at the woman. "Are you Ra?" 

There's silence again.

It seems that the woman is unconscious again.

"Where do I find clothes for you?" Wakana inhales sharply. The woman is naked from the top to her toes. The tips of her toes and fingers are bluish. She's also quivering due to the cold. Wakana takes off her dress. She's still wearing a thigh-length thin and white innerwear. The woman needs something to wear. 

She puts it on the woman. "Let's get you out of here."

And she doesn't know herself where they are at the moment. 

After the woman is dressed, Wakana takes a breath of relief. She rubs the woman's palms and legs for some time. 

"My daughters…," Wakana hears her whisper. This time, the woman's voice is quite clear. "Please take me to my daughters."

"Where are your daughters?" Wakana questions her, forgetting that the woman might be a ghost. 

"They are…" The woman takes in the air, heaving her chest up and down, opening her eyes a little. She mumbles the address to Wakana. "Misaki is…"

"Aish! We are from the same country." Wakana grins. She notices that the woman's eyes are the same shade of red as the river. "Even the same city. What a coincidence! But you look a little different from a Japanese person. Don't mind. I will take you there. Do you think that you can walk?" 

The woman nods her head slightly. She tries to get up, but her feet wobble and she falls down. Wakana grabs her, wrapping the woman's arm around her shoulders with her left hand and supporting the woman's back with her right hand. "Lean on me."

The woman does as Wakana says. They walk toward the edge of the afterlife where the mortal world begins. The land around them is covered with the mist. The sky has no sun or moon. There are no signs of any stars or living beings. The ground changes: icily cold to volcanic hot, rugged terrain to smooth landscapes. Both of them clench their teeth and continue to walk through the mist that would also add to their torment sometimes.

"What's your name?" The woman asks with a steady voice.

"Nakashima Wakana," Wakana replies cheerfully, "and you are?"

"I am —" The woman closes her eyes, wincing in pain. "No, that's not my name anymore."

Wakana flinches when she hears the screams coming from inside the woman's body. Dark howls of the forsaken ones vibrate through the woman's soul. Even the woman's flesh moves strangely under the white fabric. She asks her awkwardly, "What is going on with you?"

"I lost myself." The woman says to her, "I even lost my heart and will of my life to the forsaken ones but I wanted to return to someone… and my children. So, I took them back from the things that took them."

Took them back? Wakana swallows. 

"When I took them back," the woman continues with a heavy voice, letting out a laugh, "I didn't expect them to come to me. Didn't you hear about that saying? What you lose never returns to you in the form you want."

"I thought it was…" Wakana blocks the woman's emotions — or the emotions of the forsaken ones. She doesn't want to know or feel that darkness. "The universe never grants us what we want but it usually gives us what we need." 

"Is that so?" The woman's voice is heavy. "I wonder if I needed these creatures inside me. I am them now and they are me."

"Your will to survive was stronger than their will to break you down." Wakana smiles at her. "You wanted to see your children and that 'someone' so much that you even defied the universe."

"You say nice things." The woman sighs. "But my life won't be nice anymore: it had never been nice before. Life kept giving me priceless treasures and then, it would take me away from those priceless treasures as if it was laughing at me all the time."

"Then, hold on to it tightly this time," Wakana advises her as the ground under their feet changes again. It's cold and concrete. The mist is clearing. Wakana sees the glimpse of the sun in the sky. "We have arrived in the world."

And they are surrounded by graves. Vines are growing on the edge of the walls. Wakana takes a deep breath. This is the same grave where she came around seven years ago. It hasn't changed at all. "Can we stop at my mother's grave before I take you to your home?"

"Okay," the woman replies.