Chapter 173: Why can't you go a little easy on yourself

"I am Amara -- the great sinner. I am Kresi Mirin, the harbinger." She says, "I don't deserve something as wonderful as love."

He enters the castle. The spirit beasts look at them but say nothing. As he walks toward her chamber, he says to her, "Who wouldn't? You might be a horrible slave, but you are not ugly. I am sure that there's someone in the world who would look at you as if you are the only woman who exists in this world."

"There was one." He hears her murmur. "He was my husband once, but I didn't love him."

Does she regret it? He decides not to ask. Aren kicks open the door to her chamber. Her chamber is simple -- a bed and a wardrobe. There is nothing else. He doesn't know what he has expected to see -- but he hasn't expected this. Shouldn't a girl's room be… more colourful? Maybe he's stereotyping here. He might have expected more life, but it looks like a room where someone is living for the sake of living. 

Aren lays her down on the bed, covering her with a blanket. She covers her head, turning to her side.

Aren watches her for a long time.

"Is it that impossible for you to live and love again?" He questions her, not expecting a reply.

"You were the chosen one." The voice is low, but clear to his ear. "You won't understand what it feels like to regret everything that you have done. I loved a man who wasn't fated to be mine and threw away who loved me more than anything in the world. I mourned the loss of my family, and then, I was the very reason why they had to die in such a cruel way. You won't understand, Chosen one."

He also has regrets. Aren leans forward, wondering what to say to her. Surely, his regrets are nothing compared to hers.

"You are right." He puts his hand on her head. "You are the girl who had done everything to survive, and you avenged your friends and lover. So you weren't always right. And you had hurt others because you were hurt. But you are human. Even gods make mistakes in this world. Then why can't you go a little easy on yourself, Kresi?"

There's no reply. 

Aren leaves the room with a gentle smile on his face.

***

Next day, Aren arrives in her chamber before she even gets the chance to get off her bed. She frowns at him when he shows a bright smile to her. 

The wound is slowly healing. The pain hasn't left her body. All night, she's been tossing right and left in pain. As a result, her eyes are full of dark circles.

"Why are you beaming brighter the sun so early in the morning?" She asks him in a grumpy tone. 

"You haven't fixed your robe," Aren says to her with the same bright smile.

Kresi looks down and sees her perky mounds gloriously revealed to him. Her cheeks flush red as she covers them with the blanket. Furious, she turns her head toward him and barks, "What the heck are you doing in a female's room?"

"I brought medicines." He takes out vials from shirt's pocket and places them on the bed beside her. "Why is there no table here?"

"I don't need it." She wrinkles her nose when she sees the colour of the medicines in the vial. "You made them? They aren't properly grounded."

"I am not a potion master." Aren's gaze falls on her chest. "I have already seen it yesterday night. Why are you hiding them now? There's nothing special. They are too small for my taste."

"Do you want me to kill you?" She grimaces at him. "Don't look there."

"So, you know how to react like a woman." He raises his brow. "I thought that the flowers taught you everything. Then, why do you not know how to take care of your body? Your beans are too small. I don't like too big either, but it's fine… as long as they fit in my palms. Then again, I am a flower who hasn't been visited by bees. Let me see if they fit in my palms."

"..." Just how did this conversation escalate to this?

"I am sure that they will." Aren lets out a sigh. "Too pale… it looks like you have no blood in your body. Do you even eat? I have never seen you eat."

Why does he keep rambling? She blinks her eyes slowly. "Come closer."

Aren follows her command and leans closer to her. She looks into his eyes and realizes that his eyes are overly dilated. "You inhaled or ingested the drugs. That's why you are high."

"I don't mind being high like this if I can be a little closer to you." Aren chortles, climbing the bed. "I like your golden eyes… so lively. I wish I could see your eyes smile."

"Hey, don't!" She tries to push him away. But Aren grabs her blanket and slips inside, pulling her in his embrace, giggling like a little boy.

"Shit!" She can't budge. The crazy guy is holding her tightly. Aren runs his palm on her skin, sending jolts in her nerves. "Don't touch me, you buffoon!"

"Feels good." He presses her under his body, staring into her golden eyes. "I like your golden eyes. They are even more beautiful than those of mirins. I don't know why is that… Renasir Ari had your body once, but she looked so different from you. And you look so different from her. Your golden eyes are so…"

"Lively?" She scowls at him.

"Full of life." He sighs against her ear. "And one can easily see everything that you have been through. It's clear and enchanting. I find myself curious… wanting to know more about you every day. I don't know why but I want to see you happy. I want to see them light up with…"

Suddenly, he falls into silence.