Chapter 148: Begging for her to be with you

Sitting on the chair next to the window, Adira leans back with his eyes closed. Amara is still in that room. He doesn't want to see her. After hearing her reasons for the things that she did, he doesn't know what to feel. 

There's a dull ache in his heart. He wants something, but he doesn't know what it is. He is fully aware that it's not Amara. Even if she's in the castle, he has no urge to see her or be next to her. He doesn't even feel any pain now, especially after hearing her reasons. However, there's a deep longing. Something. Someone. A name that is foreign to him and yet so familiar. 

Why did he want to see that woman in Amara?

How did he even fall for another mortal? That is ridiculous. 

Why is he sitting in that woman's room? This place is filled with her scent and it is strangely comforting.

Being in love with another mortal is a catastrophe. He has no recollection of that catastrophe.

"You are here." Noras steps into the room casually, looking around. This must "You didn't come out to see me."

"It meant that I didn't want to see you." Adira doesn't open his eyes. "Why are you here?"

"I heard that you forgot some things." Noras wonders where he should sit. The bed is out of the question. The Dark God is rather rude.  Since this god doesn't remember a few things, he will let this go. In the end, he leans against the wall and crosses his arms. "Did you try to look into yourself? Cina's memories can't be recovered. That rune devoured his strength and memories in Qeshaya. Technically, Cina died and was reborn again."

"The rune was drawn clumsily." Adira has sensed the changes in this world and himself. "It was also a little different."

"You are irresponsible, Adira." Noras glares at him. "Instead of protecting yourself, you were protecting her. You are lucky that only your memories are gone. If you had ended up like Cina, it would have been hard on Renasir. She's already carrying your seeds. I can't imagine what she would have done if she had to raise you."

So, she's truly a Renasir. She was carrying his seeds. Noras would never lie. The god of light dislikes lying. "What of that nameless creature?"

"Amara's last sin," Noras tells him with a quiet voice. "That Renasir did release you."

Noras reveals everything that he knows about Renasir, Little Ai, and Kresi. "If it's difficult to believe, you can look into their memories."

"I don't want to." Adira runs his fingers through his hair. "I find it hard to believe that I would ever love someone like her."

That woman is completely opposite of Amara. The charms on her body are quite powerful. They are irritating, making him feel strange things. He hates being manipulated. Did he fall for her because of those charms? That Renasir did die to save him. In her previous life, she slipped into Amara… No, it's Kresi's body. 

"You will remember again." Noras assures him, "Until then, don't be hard on Renasir. She is truly the woman you love."

Love? He doesn't feel any of it for that person. She's a stranger to him. Adira glances at Noras. "How do you know that I will remember? My memories could have been devoured by Qeshaya."

"No, your memories wouldn't get eaten by Qeshaya." Noras shakes his head. It would be too much for him if that happens. "Qeshaya was eating in and out of Cina. It would have moved on to Kresi after cleansing Cina completely. After all, she was the one who called the rune. Then, it would have come to you. You tried your best to protect Kresi while slowly feeding your energy to Qeshaya. Your memories are suppressed. It would take some time for you to recover, but you should remember everything."

"You don't sound confident." Adira sighs. He knows all that. "If my memories were suppressed, I would have felt something. However, all I see is empty space in my mind. It feels like I woke up after that day. Everything that you told me… sounds like a made-up story."

"But you know that it's the truth." Noras replies, "The world? The corrupted Ehr? Renasir resolved all the issues that the gods should have. You were there with her."

And that is strange. He would rather destroy the world than fix it. Maybe not. He is the Dark God, but he has never felt bloodthirst. "Why didn't I marry her if I love her so much?"

"As much as I know, you wanted to marry her." Noras furrows his brows. "It might have been postponed because of the nameless child. She did reject you during the trial."

"She did what?" Adira raises his brow. 

"You were begging for her to be with you." Noras feels embarrassed when he recalls that memory. "In front of everyone, a god was telling a mortal that she couldn't break up with him. You were clinging to her miserably. Even the great war wasn't this bad. Actually, I would rather have a great war than seeing you clinging, begging, and crying because she didn't want to be with you."

Adira stands up, flushed. "I would never do that."

"You don't believe me?" Noras puts his hands on his hips. "You wouldn't. Why would you? You don't remember it. Maybe I should go to Qeshaya and get my memories suppressed. It's better than remembering you embarrassing all the main gods. You had no dignity, Adira. For a mortal, how could you take a child form because you were jealous of the love that she was showing to that nameless child? You ran after in your toddler form. She had to carry you and soothe you because you wouldn't stop crying."

"That's impossible." Adira raises his hand. "I can kill people for my woman, but I won't throw away my pride for her. Now, I am sure that that person wasn't me. It must be someone else with my face."

"Is it possible for someone to fool twelve gods?" Noras scowls at him. "Ask anyone. The entire world witnessed it. Come with me. Whether you remember or not, she's carrying your child. That is enough for evidence. What kind of father are you? You know how important it is to be with her at a time like this. Instead, you sent her away."

Adira shrugs. How could he believe that a random woman would be carrying his children? He has no memory of sleeping with her. "I will check if she's really carrying my child."

"Do whatever you want." Noras jeers at him. "Take your woman back. Until the child is born, she shouldn't step out of this castle. Yes, bring back that nameless creature here. If she fails to draw a name for that child, take care of him."

"Why would she think of drawing true names when she's carrying?" Adira grumbles. A nameless creature near the woman who is carrying his child? If she's truly carrying his child, he's going to lock him away until the time period is over. That woman shouldn't strain her body at a time like this. 

"I know." Noras releases his breath. "She wasn't pregnant when I made that decision. If I had known, I wouldn't have given her a chance. In any case, you should take care of this. This entire problem was created because of your woman. She wouldn't return Kresi's sins back to her. We had tried everything."

"Whether she's my woman or not, I will kill that creature." Adira mutters, "Mortals are fools. Gods shouldn't be swayed by them."

"You were not only swayed but you also fell in love with them." Noras wrinkles his nose. "You should have married a goddess."

Adira doesn't bother replying. "Let's go. I want to see if she's really carrying my child."

"Stubborn." Noras clicks his tongue. This Dark God already knows that she is. 

When they reappear in the sitting room where Noras left Ari and others, both of them widen their eyes in shock. The entire room is a forest. There's no sign of Ari or the nameless creature. The third moon is also gone.

"Where did they go?" Noras senses that Cina's presence is gone from the world along with the third moon. "They are not in this world anymore."