Chapter 119: Because I was Amara

They stare at each other for a long moment. In the end, Ari breaks eye contact first. She turns toward the god of light. "God Noras, let's get back to the matter. I want to judge the gods for their crimes."

Noras glances at the Dark God who's been ignored by the Renasir as if she didn't hear him at all. Should he proceed with this trial? 

"Before judging someone's crimes, shouldn't you be free of the sins?" Cina gives her a dark look. Because of this girl, Kresi is walking away free. "Are you qualified to judge our sins, Renasir?"

"Ah!" Ari raises her hand and lets out a laugh. "You are talking about the last sins of Kresi Mirin. I am sure that I can defend myself?"

"You were not even there that night," Cina bellows. "Why don't you just return those sins to the culprit?"

"Don't talk to her like that," Adira growls at Cina. "She's my bride."

"I am not your bride." Ari puts her hand on her hip. "Stop giving wrong ideas to people. You are ruining my chance at dating guys."

"Dating guys?" Adira can't believe what he's hearing. "Why are you thinking about dating guys when I am there?"

He should not have held an open trial. Noras massages his forehead. There are so many mortals here. Their image is ruined. Completely ruined.

"Everyone, I am not marrying that stupid god." Ari points at Adira and announces to the people. "In fact, I am looking for a man who is not a thickheaded moron. If you are interested in me, meet me after this trial. Thank you for hearing me."

"What a daring girl!" Ea chuckles. "Niela, you should make an announcement like that."

"I am not that desperate." Niela crosses her arms and huffs at her. "I am the goddess of water."

"She's hopeless." Mirinae sighs. "She wants a god who is more beautiful than Adira. There's no one like that here."

Sion eyes his wife darkly. "What do you mean? I am more good looking than he is."

The goddesses laugh at the same time. Sion's face turns red. He doesn't care about other goddesses. But why is his wife saying that Adira is better looking than him? He gnashes his teeth. He's going to teach Adira a lesson. "Are you fine with a married god, Renasir?"

The entire hall falls in silence for the second time. Did god of war say that?"

"If your wife is fine with it," Ari answers with a deadpanned voice. "We can try it."

"Sion!" Adira slams the table. "I am warning you."

Why is this happening? Noras holds his head. He can't take this anymore. 

"Aish!" Mirinae takes off her heel and throws at Sion, her husband. "Stop causing trouble. Can't you see that they are having a lover quarrel?" 

"What about you and me?" Sion glowers at her. "We are also having a fight."

"I can't do anything about your insecurity, Sion." Mirinae rolls her eyes. "We have been married for so long. We even have three beautiful children. But you still doubt me."

"You went on a date with another god." Sion snaps at her. "I even forgot his name."

"I did it because he was helping me with something." Mirinae pouts. 

"No matter what, you should not date --" Before Sion could finish his words, Noras bellows at them. "This is a trial, you idiots! If you can't act like a god, get out of here." 

Silence falls in the hall for the third time. 

"Ahem!" Ari clears her throat. "So, let's talk about Kresi's last sins. I heard that all sins and good deeds are called debts here. So, Kresi owes three people in this world. The names are Aren Starfire, Gabriel Grey, and Ai. Before we do that, I want to talk to Gabriel Grey. Is he here?"

She looks toward the witnesses. A grey-haired man with a bandage around his head stands up. He's been watching Kresi for a long time. Kresi lowers her head and sighs. She doesn't want to see him the most. 

"Tell me what happened with Aeline Starfire," Ari commands him. "Speak the truth. It's a matter of your child's future."

"My child?" Gabriel Grey frowns at her. "I don't have a child."

"You don't know?" Ari blinks her eyes, surprised. "Your and Aeline's son is alive."

"How is that possible?" Gabriel glances at Kresi. "Aeline died that night along with my… Kresi?"

This is what Kresi owed him -- the right to know about his son. Ari looks at the child who is equally shocked. Aren knew about his brother, but Gabriel didn't. 

When Kresi doesn't reply, Gabriel's knees turn weak. Raye stands up and supports him. After a long time, they are seeing Kresi again. They haven't been able to grasp the situation.

Ari continues, "Gabriel Grey, please tell us what happened with Aeline. Why did you bring her to the house where the cursed children were staying?"

"I didn't know that she was the queen of the high realm," Gabriel speaks with a shaky voice. "She was one of my childhood friends. I met her at a bar in the middle realm. She seemed kind… I didn't know that she was a holy vessel. I brought her to that place because I thought that she wanted to help them. She was good to them for months… I didn't know that she would do that to them."

"You should not have trusted her!" Kresi screams at him. "Poison of dhath… she mixed them in their meals… That bitch didn't even spare Rui who was only five... Everyone was excited about your child. Shayera even chose the name. They were so happy about getting a younger sibling. They loved your child before he even came to the world… They didn't deserve to die like that… That Belan… That monstrous spirit knew everything. She wanted to use the vessel to kill me, Gabriel. Even after drinking their blood every full moon, Belan still broke the contract…" 

Kresi falls on her knees and speaks softly. "You fell easily into Aeline's trap. That's why I hated you. If you hadn't brought Aeline, nothing would have happened. I trusted her because you trusted her, Gabriel. That's why I bound your son to Belan. "

Aren stares at Kresi. Once, he hated her so much. Seeing her now, he realizes that she's a miserable girl who is also like him. He lost his mother. She lost his family. There was a time when he thought that killing cursed children was right. He wanted to use the Renasir to achieve his goal. But… Those children were just children, weren't they? Even if they were cursed, they were just kids who wanted to live.

"I know that I am a horrible creature because I was also an Aeline once." Kresi continues with a broken voice, "I did the same to the Dark God. I used his love for me to trap him and made him do the horrible deeds. Everything that happened so far… I am the reason. The corruption in the dark ehr was born from my heart. They were born with a curse because of me. Everyone died because of me. I knew all of it… but… I didn't know how to fix that. My mother created me because she hoped that I would be able to change the world. When she found out the reason why I can't be chosen as the renasir, she stabbed me…" 

Kresi presses her hand on her chest. "That night, she fed me with her own hand. She put me to sleep. Then, at night, I woke up to pain in my chest. Once… twice… thrice… She didn't stop. Her forehead was sweating and crying... She was suffering more than I was. But I couldn't die. I was her creation. The Mirin with the heart of the Dark God… the dagger could only wound me. She left in the morning, leaving behind the dagger in my chest. I was abandoned completely because I couldn't be the renasir… because I was Amara, the sinner who tried to destroy this world."

Ari touches her chest. She recalled the pain in her chest when she was transmigrated for the first time. That vague pain was always there as long as she lived as Kresi Mirin. Kresi's own mother did it to her. Mayaeira Mirin. She did meet that woman before her death. That person was such a cruel being.

"In my past life, I came to your temple many times." Kresi raises her head and looks at Noras with misty eyes. "Because of your hasty judgment, he died. I wanted you to bring him back. I wasn't even allowed to see you. I waited for days. Why wasn't I allowed to question you? You are a god. Just like you brought this Renasir and me back to this world, you could have brought him back too. Why didn't you do it?"