Chapter 108: The love that you deserve

"She's not waking up." Ai puts his index fingers together and looks at Ari's face, blinking his eyes anxiously. She should have woken up by now. Then, this is the first time when he brought a human here. He pokes her nose with his finger. He softly murmurs to her, "Pretty Sister, wake up."

She frowns when she feels something poking her face. When she opens her eyes, she sees the same boy's face right above her. Looking into the boy's eyes, she wonders why is so lucky. This boy is ever cuter than Kyo. "Did you call me Sister?"

"I don't know your name." The boy scrutinizes her expression. This is the reincarnation of the Renasir. She's different from what he imagined. Belan told him that the last renasir was also the one who gave that name to him. Earlier, he heard that it wasn't the case. "Pretty Sister, were you or were you not the one who gave me the name Ai?"

Ai? She sits up abruptly and looks around. It seems like she's sitting in a dark empty space with fireflies of different colours of different colour floating around. There's no sky or ground. "Where is this place?"

"It's my home." Ai stands up and grabs one of the fireflies. "I don't know where is this place."

Ari winces when she hears screaming and sees flashes of a man writhing in pain on the floor. She gasps, not able to understand what's going on. Just then, Ai lets go of the firefly with expression. 

"Pretty Sister, no matter what I do, I can't kill people here."

Why does he even want to kill people? He's just a kid. Ari lets out a sigh. She's always meeting kids who don't act like kids. "Ai, I am going to help you. We will find your name together. Don't think about killing people okay."

He looks at her, listening to her quietly. It doesn't feel like she's forcing herself to speak like that to him. She doesn't seem scared. He can't sense any animosity from her. Though she knows what he is, she hasn't tried to hurt him. 

"Killing people is bad." Ari tells him slowly, "You should focus on playing."

"Nobody wants to play with me." Ai squats down and wraps his arms around his knees. "The spirits are scared of me. They won't come near me at all. When I go near people, they can't see me anymore. I lost my name a long time ago. I kept looking for it everywhere. I heard that a Renasir can give me a name."

But the renasirs don't exist anymore. She was the last Renasir. Her heart aches for the boy when she sees him sighing. Why is he still small? He looks like he's only three or four years old. It's been such a long time since she was born in this world. Is his lack of growth related to the loss of the name? "I will help you receive a new name."

He doesn't believe her though. Ai stares at her and asks her, "Are you the one who gave me the name Ai?"

For some reasons, she feels like the name suits the child. What was Kresi thinking when she gave that name to this boy? Did she truly give this name to him because she wanted to punish Belan? The boy also got hurt in the end. "I am not her, but I am sure that she had reasons for doing that to you."

"Belan told me that I was her punishment." Ai takes a deep breath. "Belan hated me because she loved me. She hated me every day. She couldn't hurt me. So, she would hurt herself. I never hated Belan. I didn't want to hurt her. I wanted to help her. She begged me every day to release her. I didn't know how to do it. She told me then. After I did what she wanted me to do, she wasn't there anymore. I kept looking for her on the continent until I realized that she was truly gone."

Big drops of tears fall and become lost in the emptiness. "I didn't know. I only did what she told me to. Since then, the spirits started to listen to me. They told me that I had taken Belan's life away and took her place."

When he hears sniffling, he looks up. Surprised to see her crying along with him, he forgets about crying. "Why are you crying, Pretty Sister?"

"Ai, come here." She spreads her arms. "Nothing bad will happen to you anymore."

He doesn't understand what she was trying to do. But he's not afraid of her. Ai takes hesitant steps toward her until he's only half of an arm-length away. She grabs his hand and pulls him in her embrace, tightening her arm around his little body and stroking his head. "You have me from now on. I will protect you from bad things."

Her voice is loud, but it's filled with affection that he has never known. The boy could hear the sound of her heartbeats. He wonders why she's sad. Is she sad for him? 

"That Belan!" Ari clicks her tongue and puts him on her lap "Ai, it wasn't your fault. Belan tricked you." 

Belan scared of the prophecy that Kresi made. Instead of waiting for death, she manipulated Ai. In the end, the prophecy came true. 

Belan died. He took her place. Then, he shouldn't have become like this. Something else must have happened. Ari places her hand on his cheek. "What happened to you after I died?"

"Nobody could see me anymore." He puts his head on her shoulder. Sitting like this feels comfortable to him. Pretty Sister is good. She's nicer than everyone he has met. "The spirits couldn't see me either. I felt sick all the times. Something was missing inside me, Pretty Sister. I didn't know what to do. My name didn't feel like my name anymore. Whenever someone calls me Ai, I feel sick."

So, he felt sick when she called him Ai. "I won't call you that again."

"It's fine if you call me that." He smiles at her, looking at her brightly. "Pretty Sister, I don't mind feeling a little sick if you want to call me by that name."

He reminds her of Kyo. Even Adira is like him sometimes. Why did this boy have to suffer like that? All kids are born innocent. They are shaped by the experiences that they have. Somehow, it feels like the boy hasn't been growing at all. He's different from Kyo who was Adira's innocence. She fell for Adira's innocence first. Then, it was his wickedness that grasped her love. She runs her fingers in Ai's hair, untangling his hair slowly. "You shouldn't be like that, Child. You shouldn't sacrifice yourself this way to make someone feel happy. We will find your name and then, I will call you by that name."

Seeing him watching her in silence, she stops fixing his hair, "Do you feel sick when I call you, Child?"

He shakes her head. "Belan used to call me that sometimes."

"..." That's awkward. To be honest, Ari feels like Belan is the worst spirit in the world. Surely, she was also in Belan's position once. Kyo was supposed to kill her. But she had never treated Kyo like that. How could that spirit be this cruel to this adorable child? Honestly, this kid's birth mother wasn't a saint either. Then, there was Kresi. This child had to meet such crazy personalities. "I am not like Belan. I will never trick you or hurt you. Child, I will make sure that you find your place in the world again. You will receive the love that you deserve. "

After all, that was the name Kresi gave this child once. Despite everything, Ari believes that Kresi would not give that name to a child if she wanted to give only pain to Ai.