37 Jumping was the fastest way to reach you

i look down at the turbulent water and take a deep breath. ren should have followed me. he should have told me that it wasn't such a case. but, he and i know that i am right. perhaps, he is fond of me. he isn't in love with me.

you can move mountains for the people you love. i would do it. i would have given up anything for him. i understand that he has been hurt and scared because of his brother's death. but, running away has never been the answer.

i can't help but feel that i have been a burden on the people around me. my grandparents. my parents. even ren. nothing has changed. i am still a burden. i don't have a shelter to hide either. i want to hide right now. desperately. i don't want anyone to see me like this. if my house still existed, i could hide there. i wouldn't have come out in the first place. i wouldn't have seen ren again. i wouldn't have found out the reason why he left. is there only pain left in my life? will things ever change?

my phone starts ringing. i feel disappointed when i see the name. of all the people, it's kamiyama. i let go of the phone. it falls in the river. i don't want to talk to him.

"hey! hey!" someone is yelling. from under the bridge, a homeless man wearing a hat comes out running. he points at me. "littering the river is a punishable act."

"shut up." i stare at the homeless man. "just report the crime if you are that bothered."

"come down and take your phone out of the river." the old man is really stubborn. "you don't even think about the fishes."

seriously. i take a deep breath and tell him, "i can't swim."

"then, why are you standing there and looking like you want to go skinny dipping?" the old man asks with an irritated voice. "come down now."

"..." i walk around and go below the bridge. there is a small tent below the bridge. a fishing rod in front of the tent. "old man, i don't think that our country laws allow us to live below the bridges like this."

"don't be cranky. i am only here for the vacation." he picks up a can and throws in my direction. i barely manage to catch it. "drink that. it will lift up your mood."

it's a can of beer. it's also expired. fair enough. he resumes fishing. i wonder if there is any fish in the river. i start drinking beer. the taste is funny. in the next moment, i throw up.

"what's wrong with you?" the old man becomes mad at me. "i found that beer lying here. didn't you see the expiry date? why did you drink it?"

"why did you give it to me?" i throw away the beer can and clean myself with the river water.

"here, take this." he gives me the water bottle. "it's clean. drink it."

i take a sip and feel like my throat is choking. i spit out the water before i have the reflex. i thought that i was improving, but i am back to point zero.

"that looks painful." he sits beside me. "you have some bad issues. were you bullied when you were young? perhaps, it was related to food and drinks?"

i narrow my eyes on him. "what are you?"

"i am a fisher on holidays." he looks up at the sky. his almond eyes are twinkling. "on other days, i fix people."

"tch!" my luck is really bad today. i end up meeting someone who deals with minds.

"here." he puts his business card on my hands. "if it becomes unbearable, you should find me."

"i won't find you."

"there will come a time when you want to be better for yourself or your loved ones." he smiles at me. kindly. "i will be waiting for you."

"i don't have anyone." i point at the bridge. "old man, do you come here to give your business card to people who try to jump from there?"

"there is nothing wrong to promote my business." the old man looks offended. "do you know how many lives that i have saved? that place is a favourite place for suicide."

i look at the business card. "you are not from this city."

"i told you that i am on vacation." he looks at me thoughtfully. "when i saw you for the first time, i thought that i was looking at a ghost. you look a lot like someone i know."

"are you hitting on me, old man?" i scrunch my nose. "you are not my type."

he laughs loudly. "no, you are my daughter's age. you even look like her. don't doubt my pure intentions."

"okay." i decide to believe him. "what does your daughter do?"

"she..."

"takeuchi!"

i find kamiyama standing at the bridge. how does he manage to find me always? i want to know why he is always there. but, that's not the strange part. he suddenly jumps off the bridge. i let out a scream. i don't know how to swim. i look at the old man who is unperturbed by the event.

"can you save him?"

"does he need saving?"

in the next instant, i watch kamiyama resurface and swim his way toward the riverside. i open my mouth widely, but no words come out. why would he jump? was he hot? did he want to try swimming in the dirty river water? it is fucking ridiculous.

he is gasping for breath when he reaches me. he puts his hands on my shoulders and asks, "i was looking for you everywhere. why did you come here? this is not a safe place for a woman. can't you think for once? you are a woman. what if you got hurt? the media would have another reason to harm my family."

"kamiyama, you could have come from there." i point at the stairs from the side of the bridge. "why did you jump?"

he looks at the stairs like he has seen them for the first time. "jumping was the fastest way to reach you."

the old man chuckles. "you also need help, young man."

"who are you?" kamiyama glares at him.

"i am nobody." the old man stands up. he pats off the dust from his pants. "just a happy old man living under the bridge."

he waves his hand and goes back to his tent.

"today is strange," i murmur to myself.

"why did you come here?" he starts dragging me along me. we are taking the stairs. i am glad that he didn't decide to swim through the river.

"how did you find me?"

"don't answer a question with a question."

"use common sense frequently."

"takeuchi." he turns around and scowls at me. "don't try to run away before everything is resolved."

"i wouldn't dare to." else, you would be looking for me everywhere like this. i am sure that you will also pursue me to hell for payback.

"good girl." he suddenly pats my head, looking satisfied. "i have sent takeshi and others back. we have to take a train. let's hurry. there is a situation at home."

"what happened?" i follow him. "earlier, you wanted to talk about something."

"the pictures from the hotel is on the media. someone has recorded us when you fell sick at the restaurant," he tells me nonchalantly. "there is another news report that appeared a while ago. your name is everywhere. your gamer identity and your link with the kamiyama family is leaked. kamiyama family's scandal is also the top news again."

"today is really a crappy day."

"don't worry about this. i have already thought of something."