Chapter 88 - HOLY

Let's have a rundown of the real life soap-opera that is Melody Jones' life. In the beginning of the school year, I was a normal teenager going to a rich kids' school. I had a boyfriend I loved to pieces, held down a job like a champ and was in an ongoing feud with a boy that irritated me to the core of my bones.

Things started taking a turn at the tail end of the year when I got involved in an accident, had the police tell me that my boyfriend is somehow involved in the mafia, the said boyfriend went MIA, I was assigned a bodyguard because someone wants my head on a silver platter and I started falling hard for the boy I wanted to throttle.

Now, it seems like I wasn't the only one that was falling with no safety net.

Without skipping a beat, he answers. ''Because I'm a fucking bastard and I like you.''

There are a lot of things I expect him to say in response to that question, but admitting that he likes me is definitely not on my list. If I knew that this was where the conversation was going, I would have let him fall off the tree. Why? Because I'm not prepared for it. He said I like you like it was the most obvious thing in the world and I know you don't usually plan things like this but I'm about to pass out.

I've wanted to hear those words for so long and now that it's finally out there, the only thing I can do is look at him in…awe? Disbelief?

He said he likes me.

Jason Blunt likes me.

And I like him too.

Gah.

''I,'' What do you want to say, Melody? ''Wow, I-''

''You don't have to say you like me too,'' he chuckles, although I don't know if it's a humorous one. ''I just wanted to get it off of my chest before I let it consume me.''

Oh-kay?

''I know I don't deserve you. I've treated you like shit. I've pushed your buttons so many times. I've made you call me all the names in the book. Fuck, I believe I've even made you cry.'' I laugh a little at the memory. He has made me cry once and that was in the beginning of the school year when he talked about my dad and I jumped him. ''I know I'm an asshole and I'm everything you stand against, but I still like you.''

My hands fidget and I bite the inside of my cheek to prevent a blush. I didn't even realize he has moved away from his position on my bed till I feel a warm hand on my cheek. He turns my face to him and I see him, all of him, sitting criss-cross-apple sauce on the floor. ''You're perfect and I'm not.''

''I'm not perfect,'' I whisper. ''I screw up just like you and just like everyone else on this planet.''

''If we're measuring screw-ups, you're the Virgin Mary.''

''That can't be true.'' For God's sake, I was with someone who was in the mafia. If that doesn't mean screw-up, I don't know what that is. There's a difference between Jason and Bob. When I was with Bob, before I found out his secret, he was my safe haven, my knight in shining armour, my protector, the Prince Charming to my Cinderella. 

With Jason, the alarm bells in my head are going off. He's everything my mum warned me against. He is a player, he is a gangleader, he is a street racer, he is a 'caution don't enter' sign. He is everything I'm not.

Yet, here I am. I let him in my room, we kissed and we're still here.

I should be running for the hills. I should tell him to fuck off. I should call Theo and tell him to arrest him. I should scream and never look back.

But I won't.

Why? Because I'm into deep.

''Trust me, it's true.'' His right thumb traces the curve of my nose until they reach my lips. His thumb parts my bottom lip in one single movement and I watch him, paralyzed with wonder. ''These lips are perfect. I've had a taste and they are everything I've ever dreamed of, even more.''

He has dreamed about kissing me?

''You've dreamed about kissing me?'' I whisper with a blush. He retracts his thumb and I immediately miss it. ''I have, more times than I'd admit actually. When I said thoughts of you consume me, I wasn't lying.''

Falling for him was never part of my school year plan. I swore I'd stay away from boys till I finish school but how can I when he just admitted he likes me? How can I when he's looking at me like he wants to kiss me again?

He leans in again and my breath catches in my throat. ''I won't let you hurt me.'' I blurt out. ''If you're going to hurt me, you might as well leave now.''

For the past five months, the prominent emotion I've felt is hurt. Hurt by the lies, hurt by the deceit, hurt by my own naivete and hurt by what I couldn't see in front of me.

''I'm not the hero in this story,'' he whispers and brushes a stray braid that had fallen off from my haphazard bun. ''If anything, I'm the big bad wolf and you should be wary of me. I have demons and scars that run so far and so deep. Like I said, I'm a screw up and I can't guarantee anything, but I know for a fact that I'll try to be what you deserve.''

He didn't say he won't hurt me.

''I don't know,'' I tug at my shirt sleeve. ''I like you too in case you're wondering.'' I blush again for like the umpteenth time this night. ''I was trying to tell you that in the beginning.''

His once down cast eyes glimmers with hope, hope that there could actually be an us after all this. ''You like me too?''

I bite my bottom lip. ''Yea.'' Even if you're messed up, screwed up and you're danger personified, I still like you. ''I like you.'' I reiterate, this time for myself so that I'd know it's real-this moment is real. 

''May I?'' he asks, his eyes zoning in on my lips. I nod once and he kisses me again.

There's something about kissing him in my room that feels so juvenile. Sophie could walk in or mum could decide to come home early. The good girl in me is telling me to stop because it's not right. But how can something so wrong feel so right? How can this be so perfect when I know that deep down I feel uncertainty in the pit of my stomach?

Much like the first kiss we shared an hour ago, it's slow and I have a feeling that he's doing it deliberately. His hands don't move anywhere but stay on my cheeks. He doesn't explore my body or touch me and I think it's out of respect. 

A moan escapes my lips and the wanton part of me wants him to deepen the kiss, wants him to touch me or explore my body. It would definitely fulfill all my dark fantasies, the ones that keep me up in the middle of the night, the ones that drench me in a cold sweat.

The wanton part of me takes over and I move closer to deepen the kiss, wanting to taste his minty and cinnamon breath all at once. This surprises him, I can see the widening of his eyes and if I wasn't too preoccupied, I would have laughed.

Fuck it. I'm tired of being the cautious and responsible girl, the one who follows the rules. If Jason goes against all my rules, then so be it.

We pause for a second, chest heaving, but it's only for a second because Melody two-point-oh comes out. What does she do?

She straddles Jason.

I thought his eyes widened before, but this time, they almost pop out of their sockets when I release my legs from their position and crawl into his laps straddling him.

''Whoa,'' his hands move to my waist, steadying me. ''I didn't know you had it in you, Princess.''

My hands encircle his neck to pull him closer. ''There are a lot of things you don't know about me.'' For example, someone is trying to kill me.

''I think we should slow it down a bit,'' he cautions. My face falls a bit and he notices it. ''Hey, look at me.''

I shake my head. ''I'm a little embarrassed here and you're so right we should take it slow.''The sex-deprived, seductress, Melody two-point-oh is gone and now replaced with the real Melody who is blushing like an idiot because never in a million years would she ever straddle a guy, talkless of straddle a guy that she likes.

''Don't be.'' He gives me a peck on the lips. ''I stopped before it went too far because I don't want you to regret anything. It doesn't mean I don't want you because fuck, I want you so bad,'' the hard-on he's sporting is an indication of that. ''and it's not just because you're an amazing kisser.'' I laugh at his compliment, at least I'll take it as a compliment. 

''I don't want to get too excited and take you in your bedroom. It just doesn't feel right.'' he reasons. I nod in understanding. ''I want to do things the right way for once in my life.''

With one last peck, he asks. ''Would you make my day by going out on a date with me?''